Quick legal threat

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>

6,338

7,152

• Jun 23, 2019

• #1

So, my ex left her phone in a Lyft. Lyft is aware, gave us the girls contact info. She is ghosting us (for over 12 hours.) What can I text to make it sound like I'm a lawyer and she's going to be in trouble for stolen property, or something like that?

 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

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• Jun 23, 2019

• #2

I wouldn't even fuck around. I'd file a police report over stolen property

 

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Reactions: 1 users

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>

6,338

7,152

• Jun 23, 2019

• #3

Thank you. I wasn't sure if it would be stolen property or not since technically she left the phone, but I was thinking the same thing. Thank you.

 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

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• Jun 23, 2019

• #4

(IANAL)

 

P

Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm

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5,323

• Jun 23, 2019

• #5

tort of outrage

 

Lanx

<Prior Amod>

68,882

159,788

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• Jun 23, 2019

• #6

if it's an iphone, don't forget the wheres my iphone, etc google cloud

 

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler

13,768

16,130

• 

• Jun 23, 2019

• #7

If she's smart, you're probably fucked. She can tell the cops she never saw it and that if it was left behind perhaps another customer took it.

 

GuardianX

Perpetually Pessimistic

<Bronze Donator>

7,470

19,164

• Jun 24, 2019

• #8

as an aside:

Cerberus security: Antitheft, Persona, Kids

Cerberus is a suite of services to protect your phone, yourself and your loved ones: Antitheft - the best protection you can get to recover your misplaced, lost or stolen Android device; Persona - get help in an emergency, share real-time location with your family and friends; Kids - tool for...

www.cerberusapp.com

this is an amazing app and you can basically get down to the foot level of accuracy with it. You can also set it up as a hidden background app that can never be uninstalled without knowing it is there.

 

Asshat wormie

2023 Asshat Award Winner

<Gold Donor>

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• Jun 24, 2019

• #9

Send dick pics

 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>

6,338

7,152

• Jun 24, 2019

• #10

Phone recovered last night. Thank you!

 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord

25,411

47,091

• Jun 24, 2019

• #11

Noodleface said:

(IANAL)

Click to expand...

Liar, we all know your wife won't let you.

 

zzeris

The Real Benny Johnson

<Gold Donor>

21,303

93,250

• 
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• Jun 24, 2019

• #12

Falxy-US said:

Phone recovered last night. Thank you!

Click to expand...

So, you're saying the dick pics worked.

 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

38,692

16,760

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• Jun 24, 2019

• #13

"if you don't give my phone back my dick will contact the police. Here's a pic of him filling out the complaint _

 

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Reactions: 1 users

stupidmonkey

Not Smrt

<Gold Donor>

2,127

5,351

• Jun 24, 2019

• #14

Noodleface said:

"if you don't give my phone back my dick will contact the police. Here's a pic of him filling out the complaint _

Click to expand...

Take the advice from this man. He knows a thing or two about dick pics.

 

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.

<Silver Donator>

15,128

-996

• Jun 24, 2019

• #15

In my experience, the police don't give a fuck about stolen property. The best you can hope for is that they won't sound too annoyed that you are making them fill out a piece of paper about your stolen item that no one will read ever.