RL Picture Thread

3301

3301

Wake Up Man
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Izo said:
Eh, I don't know how to make the links display when quoting. But damn, this is something for nightmares, 3301 3301 - you're one scary looking dude.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but I don’t remember posting my picture. Someone doesn’t know who Will Sasso is.
 
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Noodleface

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101008-tch-oldgadgetjitterbug.grid-3x2.jpg
 
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Brahma

Brahma

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Noodleface said:
View attachment 240599
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One day...in the not so distant future. Maybe when you're on vacation. You will go to sit down on the toilet in the middle of the night, in that 2am piss mode daze phase. Unbeknownst to you, swimming thru the pipes, from the depth of the sewers, looking for a heat signature, it finally makes it way up to your commode. There will be a thirsty and hungry rattlesnake that will mistake your balls for gerbils. Wrinkly little snacks. It will strike, and latch on with venomous fangs. You will jump up as if you have been slapped by Beelzebub himself!

Screaming and hollering! You, in a hysterical panic, rush out of your hotel room, knocking on each and every door down the hallway, as you frantically seek help from this serpent that has attached itself to your now poisoned and swollen manhood. But alas, no one will answer your desperate calls and pounding for help. The pain will be unbearable to the point of you collapsing. As you knock on that last door at the end of the hall...a tall, dark and handsome Denzel Washingtonesque man opens his door. He glances you over and he sees your predicament. He raises his eyebrows, and leans in. Not to help you, but to whisper in your ear...Jitterbug motherfucker. Jitterbug. And slowly closes the door...Jitterbug.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Brahma said:
One day...in the not so distant future. Maybe when you're on vacation. You will go to sit down on the toilet in the middle of the night, in that 2am piss mode daze phase. Unbeknownst to you, swimming thru the pipes, from the depth of the sewers, looking for a heat signature, it finally makes it way up to your commode. There will be a thirsty and hungry rattlesnake that will mistake your balls for gerbils. Wrinkly little snacks. It will strike, and latch on with venomous fangs. You will jump up as if you have been slapped by Beelzebub himself!

Screaming and hollering! You, in a hysterical panic, rush out of your hotel room, knocking on each and every door down the hallway, as you frantically seek help from this serpent that has attached itself to your now poisoned and swollen manhood. But alas, no one will answer your desperate calls and pounding for help. The pain will be unbearable to the point of you collapsing. As you knock on that last door at the end of the hall...a tall, dark and handsome Denzel Washingtonesque man opens his door. He glances you over and he sees your predicament. He raises his eyebrows, and leans in. Not to help you, but to whisper in your ear...Jitterbug motherfucker. Jitterbug. And slowly closes the door...Jitterbug.
Click to expand...

So that means if noodle hadn't posted that picture, you'd be sucking the venom from his balls. Face inches from his unwiped ass. Literally 1 pic on the Internet away from that.
 
AngryGerbil

AngryGerbil

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Brahma said:
One day...in the not so distant future. Maybe when you're on vacation. You will go to sit down on the toilet in the middle of the night, in that 2am piss mode daze phase. Unbeknownst to you, swimming thru the pipes, from the depth of the sewers, looking for a heat signature, it finally makes it way up to your commode. There will be a thirsty and hungry rattlesnake that will mistake your balls for gerbils. Wrinkly little snacks. It will strike, and latch on with venomous fangs. You will jump up as if you have been slapped by Beelzebub himself!

Screaming and hollering! You, in a hysterical panic, rush out of your hotel room, knocking on each and every door down the hallway, as you frantically seek help from this serpent that has attached itself to your now poisoned and swollen manhood. But alas, no one will answer your desperate calls and pounding for help. The pain will be unbearable to the point of you collapsing. As you knock on that last door at the end of the hall...a tall, dark and handsome Denzel Washingtonesque man opens his door. He glances you over and he sees your predicament. He raises his eyebrows, and leans in. Not to help you, but to whisper in your ear...Jitterbug motherfucker. Jitterbug. And slowly closes the door...Jitterbug.
Click to expand...

My permanent partner at work (for the last 2 years and who knows for how much longer) is a 61 year old black man.

Whenever we go for lunch at whatever local fast food locale we choose for that day, we are almost always being served by a young female black or white. And, almost always, we are asked for our names for the to-go order.

Without exception and without hesitation, when asked his name, my partner ALWAYS tells the young woman asking him (even if it's a white woman) that his name is either Denzel Washington or Michael Jordan.

It's a fascinating thing. If the female he is talking to is under 40 years of age he will do this %100 of the time (if she is older than 40 he doesn't bother with it and just gives them his real name). Approximately %50 of the time the girl will either giggle and blush and play coy and give him his drink or his side for free, or she will look at him with a dead face and not react at all. I'm always so curious about the dead-faced ones. Are they dead-faced because they are sick and tired of old men hitting on them, or are they dead-faced because they simply do not understand the reference?

The ones who giggle, I assume, are quite happy to have a man's attention. My partner is slightly overweight and has a lazy-eye and is very clearly passed his prime. But even so, if he flirts with these girls, even given that he is 40+ years older than them, they seem to melt and to love it. Some of them fucking LOVE it.

We have a rule: The driver always orders first. He always drives so he always orders first. The logic is that if we were to get a sudden call, that he would at least be able to eat a few bites of food before we got to the ambulance, and then I would be able to eat a few bites of food on the way to call while sitting shotgun. It almost never matters, but that is our rule. So when he orders he always walks away from the counter with the smug look on his face and I ask him, "What name did you give?" and he will tell me either Denzel or Michael.

I feel like I need to keep a spreadsheet. I have this underlying desire to count the number of times he says Denzel vs the number of times he says Michael, then I want to correlate it to the exact age of the girl he is talking to and maybe even her race just for compeletionist reasons.

A full half of the time his flirtations gain him nothing. But a full half of the time they gain him either extra service, an extra item in his food bag, or at the very least some extra social attention in the form of the girl coming to our table to clean up after us before we leave.

Compare that to myself. I always just say, in an almost robotic tone, what my order is and what my name is. Nobody ever remembers me. I don't tell them that I am Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. I'm just AngryGerbil and I'm just here to eat some tacos. Take my money and leave me alone. Which they do. But then, they NEVER come to my table to clean up after me while I'm still sitting there, and they never comp me a free drink or an extra side of fries.

Maybe I will try this when I am older and have less shame. I really don't know. Maybe I won't. Every time he does it I stand and watch in awe, no matter the outcome.
 
Vanessa

Vanessa

Uncle Tanya
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AngryGerbil said:
My permanent partner at work (for the last 2 years and who knows for how much longer) is a 61 year old black man.

Whenever we go for lunch at whatever local fast food locale we choose for that day, we are almost always being served by a young female black or white. And, almost always, we are asked for our names for the to-go order.

Without exception and without hesitation, when asked his name, my partner ALWAYS tells the young woman asking him (even if it's a white woman) that his name is either Denzel Washington or Michael Jordan.

It's a fascinating thing. If the female he is talking to is under 40 years of age he will do this %100 of the time (if she is older than 40 he doesn't bother with it and just gives them his real name). Approximately %50 of the time the girl will either giggle and blush and play coy and give him his drink or his side for free, or she will look at him with a dead face and not react at all. I'm always so curious about the dead-faced ones. Are they dead-faced because they are sick and tired of old men hitting on them, or are they dead-faced because they simply do not understand the reference?

The ones who giggle, I assume, are quite happy to have a man's attention. My partner is slightly overweight and has a lazy-eye and is very clearly passed his prime. But even so, if he flirts with these girls, even given that he is 40+ years older than them, they seem to melt and to love it. Some of them fucking LOVE it.

We have a rule: The driver always orders first. He always drives so he always orders first. The logic is that if we were to get a sudden call, that he would at least be able to eat a few bites of food before we got to the ambulance, and then I would be able to eat a few bites of food on the way to call while sitting shotgun. It almost never matters, but that is our rule. So when he orders he always walks away from the counter with the smug look on his face and I ask him, "What name did you give?" and he will tell me either Denzel or Michael.

I feel like I need to keep a spreadsheet. I have this underlying desire to count the number of times he says Denzel vs the number of times he says Michael, then I want to correlate it to the exact age of the girl he is talking to and maybe even her race just for compeletionist reasons.

A full half of the time his flirtations gain him nothing. But a full half of the time they gain him either extra service, an extra item in his food bag, or at the very least some extra social attention in the form of the girl coming to our table to clean up after us before we leave.

Compare that to myself. I always just say, in an almost robotic tone, what my order is and what my name is. Nobody ever remembers me. I don't tell them that I am Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. I'm just AngryGerbil and I'm just here to eat some tacos. Take my money and leave me alone. Which they do. But then, they NEVER come to my table to clean up after me while I'm still sitting there, and they never comp me a free drink or an extra side of fries.

Maybe I will try this when I am older and have less shame. I really don't know. Maybe I won't. Every time he does it I stand and watch in awe, no matter the outcome.
Click to expand...
I love you AG. Your 10 paragraph story essentially is thus: Outgoing, gregarious people attract more positivity in others regardless of looks.
 
AngryGerbil

AngryGerbil

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Vanessa said:
I love you AG. Your 10 paragraph story essentially is thus: Outgoing, gregarious people attract more positivity in others regardless of looks.
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I mean, okay. Yeah. I guess that's what I said.

But it CAN be annoying sometimes. It is a double edged sword.
 
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Vanessa

Vanessa

Uncle Tanya
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AngryGerbil said:
I mean, okay. Yeah. I guess that's what I said.

But it CAN be annoying sometimes. It is a double edged sword.
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You're FoH's Jordan Peterson... which I agree, can annoy some people... other people like me who have a longer attention span don't mind it and love you for it :)
 
Hateyou

Hateyou

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AngryGerbil said:
My permanent partner at work (for the last 2 years and who knows for how much longer) is a 61 year old black man.

Whenever we go for lunch at whatever local fast food locale we choose for that day, we are almost always being served by a young female black or white. And, almost always, we are asked for our names for the to-go order.

Without exception and without hesitation, when asked his name, my partner ALWAYS tells the young woman asking him (even if it's a white woman) that his name is either Denzel Washington or Michael Jordan.

It's a fascinating thing. If the female he is talking to is under 40 years of age he will do this %100 of the time (if she is older than 40 he doesn't bother with it and just gives them his real name). Approximately %50 of the time the girl will either giggle and blush and play coy and give him his drink or his side for free, or she will look at him with a dead face and not react at all. I'm always so curious about the dead-faced ones. Are they dead-faced because they are sick and tired of old men hitting on them, or are they dead-faced because they simply do not understand the reference?

The ones who giggle, I assume, are quite happy to have a man's attention. My partner is slightly overweight and has a lazy-eye and is very clearly passed his prime. But even so, if he flirts with these girls, even given that he is 40+ years older than them, they seem to melt and to love it. Some of them fucking LOVE it.

We have a rule: The driver always orders first. He always drives so he always orders first. The logic is that if we were to get a sudden call, that he would at least be able to eat a few bites of food before we got to the ambulance, and then I would be able to eat a few bites of food on the way to call while sitting shotgun. It almost never matters, but that is our rule. So when he orders he always walks away from the counter with the smug look on his face and I ask him, "What name did you give?" and he will tell me either Denzel or Michael.

I feel like I need to keep a spreadsheet. I have this underlying desire to count the number of times he says Denzel vs the number of times he says Michael, then I want to correlate it to the exact age of the girl he is talking to and maybe even her race just for compeletionist reasons.

A full half of the time his flirtations gain him nothing. But a full half of the time they gain him either extra service, an extra item in his food bag, or at the very least some extra social attention in the form of the girl coming to our table to clean up after us before we leave.

Compare that to myself. I always just say, in an almost robotic tone, what my order is and what my name is. Nobody ever remembers me. I don't tell them that I am Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. I'm just AngryGerbil and I'm just here to eat some tacos. Take my money and leave me alone. Which they do. But then, they NEVER come to my table to clean up after me while I'm still sitting there, and they never comp me a free drink or an extra side of fries.

Maybe I will try this when I am older and have less shame. I really don't know. Maybe I won't. Every time he does it I stand and watch in awe, no matter the outcome.
Click to expand...

You tell them you are AngryGerbil and they don’t react to that?
 
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AngryGerbil

AngryGerbil

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Vanessa said:
You're FoH's Jordan Peterson... which I agree, can annoy some people... other people like me who have a longer attention span don't mind it and love you for it :)
Click to expand...

Okay so on the flip side, he also gets emotional on calls whereas I tend to be the 'robot' emotionless paramedic.

This hyper-emotion on his part has occasionally worked out in our favor, but I mostly see it as a negative.

He will tell some people to shut the fuck up and obey. I'm serious. It's like the old Mother, Jugs, and Speed days.

I won't do this. I will THINK it, but I won't say it. I am the sort that hunkers down and just does the job, knowing I have to answer to Supervisors and Operations Managers, and HR, and the Medical Director.

This leads him to occasionally jump to radical conclusions and then act on them. He once berated and scolded a patient for their behavior before he knew what their blood sugar was. Once it came back as 28, he backed off and let me take charge because he knew he had fucked up.

He might get an extra bag of fries at McDonalds, but I am the one who didn't talk shit to an old woman who was acting a fool because I kept it in my head, like a robot, that she might have low blood sugar.

Like I said, it's a fascinating thing on all fronts.
 
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