Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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Aaron said:
Down there in the right hand corner, between Crait and D'Qar it says "Path of the Resistance Fleet". What path is that exactly? Is that meant to be the distance the fleet traveled during the duration of TLJ?? Cos that's about, what? 7-8% of the diameter of the galaxy. And the film is supposed to take place during a matter of a few days? Now, even if we assume that this is a tiny galaxy compared to The Milky Way, we're talking traversing dozens, (more likely hundreds, if not thousands) of lightyears in a few days... while NOT using hyperspace. Well, now I may be wrong about my assumptions above, bit if not, who the fuck needs hyperspace anyway? You could travel the width of the galaxy in the same time it takes to take a trip by boat from China to Europe, about a month. Fuck this shit!
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I dunno. How far was alderan from tatooine? And the falcon made the trip fairly quickly. Let's not nitpick every aspect because it ends up shitting on the OT, which has it's own flaws. yet its still a classic trilogy.
 
Gavinmad

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Chukzombi said:
I dunno. How far was alderan from tatooine? And the falcon made the trip fairly quickly. Let's not nitpick every aspect because it ends up shitting on the OT, which has it's own flaws. yet its still a classic trilogy.
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Uh, except the travel time between Alderaan and Tattooine was't a critical plot point.
 
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Caliane

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They did hyperspace jump from D'qar, to some unspecified point. then, went in normalspace the rest of they way.
the "path" includes the hyperspace jump.

Hyperspace still takes time, so its the travel to the casino planet that makes no sense at all.
 
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j00t

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Luke learned the force in the time it took to go from tatooine and alderaan. It was not a 20 minute trip
 
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Feanor

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spronk said:
In a way its even worse, because it actively undoes the happy ending of ROTJ which the prequels at least don't do. At the end of the ROTJ we had the empire on the way out, the heroes had won and would go on to create a peaceful, just society.
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A problem there is how the new batch of villains were handled.

Keeping the empire's backstory simple and mysterious worked to the original trilogy's advantage. At this point though the foundation is set. Not clarifying how the First Order came from the upheaval, which does not require much exposition, paints them as nothing but a rehashed empire. Because fuck it, the good guys need some bad guys to kill.
 
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j00t

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i think the point is that within the context of a new hope, it could have been a few hours, a day or a couple weeks, they showed that it was more than a 30 second "jump to lightspeed aaaaaannnnnd we're there."

in tlj there is literally a counting clock to annihilation so every second counts.

that in and of itself is fine. even what tlj did in the context of it's OWN movie is fine. the rules of lightspeed are never clearly explained. the problem is when you start looking at how the series as a whole has handled lightspeed travel and it starts to get all wonky
 
j00t

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does it involve daisy ridley, her sisters and blue milk nipples?
 
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j00t

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kegkilla said:
It involves Daisy Ridley, Leia, General Grievous, and a whole lot of death sticks
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gold bikini leia or floatin' through space leia?

also... this may have been posted but i did't see it.

 
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Melvin

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Feanor said:
A problem there is how the new batch of villains were handled.

Keeping the empire's backstory simple and mysterious worked to the original trilogy's advantage. At this point though the foundation is set. Not clarifying how the First Order came from the upheaval, which does not require much exposition, paints them as nothing but a rehashed empire. Because fuck it, the good guys need some bad guys to kill.
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There's at least one more problem with how the new "bad guys" were handled that you forgot to mention:

qNrpzAJ.jpg
 
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j00t

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did people really have a problem with shirtless kylo? what's the reasoning behind this being a problem?
 
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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j00t said:
did people really have a problem with shirtless kylo? what's the reasoning behind this being a problem?
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well typically a man would not take off his shirt unless he was doing some exercise or trying to beefcake himself up for the ladies. i dunno if he was doing laser crunches on the command ship, but it came off as some pathetic attempt to make the actor look like some kind of hunk.
 
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Caliane

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men get slave leia. ladies get shirtless Kylo ren.
men win this scenario. get over it. Hell, the outfit even covers tubby mens love handles when cosplaying. more win.
 
Melvin

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Shirtless Ren appeals to exactly two stereotypical viewers: 1) people who think the shirtless man child is hot and want to ride his meatsaber, and 2) "feminists" who think that the only thing more disgusting than a white male is a white male who took his shirt off in a fucking disgusting attempt to be sexy that only a shitlord cisgender fucking white male reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

So his shirtlessness can very easily be described as gratuitous and/or pandering. Any faggots in this thread feel like defending the shirtlessness as if it actually contributed anything meaningful to the "plot" at all?

Edit: slave Leia can also easily be described as gratuitous and pandering too, but there's a couple very fucking significant differences. Leia's outfit was 100% relevant to the plotline she was involved in and was an integral part of showing (not telling) exactly what kind of villain Jabba was. The audience that a girl in a bikini was pandering to was exactly the core audience that made Star Wars into a bajillion dollar successful business in the first place.
 
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kegkilla

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Leia and Rey are together on the bridge having just escaped the events on Crait.

"It was very brave of your brother to do what he did. To teleconference into the engagement, then die for no reason other than Disney not wanting to pay his fee for this movie. We all owe him a debt.

"Yeah whatever bitch. Bring me some coffee."

Just then, a large, malicious looking figure with four arms bursts into the room. The guards present turn their guns on it, but are swiftly dealt lethal blows by the creature.

"Hello there," Leia warmly welcomes her guest.

"General Organa! You are an old one!"

Rey is looking upon the intruder with complete bewilderment. Then it hits her.

"You... you're General Grievous! The Jedi hunting cyborg! I've heard legends of you. But... you were slain in battle by Obi Wan Kenobi! How can you be alive!?"

Grievous laughs heartily then coughs sickeningly.

"Another fine plothole in Disney's collection!"

Rey, sensing the danger she is in, surveys her surroundings. Letting the force speak to her, she realizes Grievous is carrying an arsenal of lightsabers in his cloak. Using the force, Rey calls a lightsaber and ignites it. Grievous responds by arming himself with a lightsaber in each of his four hands. Rey looks on in astonishment as the sabers begin spinning at such a speed that Grievous becomes a wall of death closing in on her.

"You must now realize that Disney plot armor doesn't work in low quality fan faction. You. Are. Doomed."

"I will not be intimidated byaughhhh..."

Rey's retort is interrupted by a lightsaber severing her head from her body. Grievous calmly retracts his weapons, then moves to Rey's decapitated head. He grabs the head off of the floor and holds it at eye level, giving a menacing stare. Suddenly, he turns his attention to Leia.

"This will make a fine addition to the Disney Christmas catalog."

Grievous and Leia both guffaw heartily.

"Well, that'll shut that bitch up. Say, I'm pretty over this resistance bullshit I've been doing the last 40 years. There's some pod races on Tatooine tonight. I know a guy there who's got the hookup on death sticks. You in?"

"Time to abandon ship."

Roll credits
 
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Royal

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kegkilla said:
Korriban seems like the only appropriate destination for people who defend this filth.
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FYI ya boy George retconned the name to Moraband because he thought it sounded better (more like Morder).
 
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