Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

I thought Rey was a trainee of Luke? How did kylo Ren form/join the order/knights of Ren with the other "dark side kids" and destroy the temple... that was apparently huge and big- not just ol man Luke and a few younglings.. Nope it all was just boom one night.. Also kylo had a working good colored light Saber... why was his red one "half broken and could explode at any time" etc..

Gah screw this move, it can't even be consistent from TFA

Lightsabers don't change color based on who is holding them. The color is determined when the kyber crystal is attuned by whomever crafts it. I would assume that he decided to make a new one for some reason. His original one may have become damaged somehow since his red one has a cracked kyber crystal in it, which is why it's "blade" is a little unstable. If he reattuned the crystal at the point it would have bled, producing the red blade.

It's a serious problem they left the Luke Skywalker story abandoned for 35 years and then tried to catch us up with a couple short clips. It's completely cheapened his accomplishments as a character and beloved icon. I thought he was the best part about this film and I was pretty fucking scared that a 65 year old Mark Hamill would be able to pull it off but he was fucking aces. These guys have no clue what made the OG trilogy work or why we cared about these characters. Luke and R2D2 worked, Luke and Yoda worked. They connected us back with our youth and brought real emotional weight to the movie. Then they just shit on everything.

It's a god damn travesty how they wrote his character and ignored what happened to the heroes after the fall of the Empire. I loaded up Empire last night and within seconds of seeing Han and Leia in their first scene you could tell the difference in writing, acting ability, just everything. You could sense the fucking chemistry from miles away. These films have ZERO of that.

Where Lucas really fucked up was not continuing the story when these actors weren't over the hill.

What they should have done is fucking digitize them and have them record hours of fucking dialogue and show us the in between.

Failing that, why does each generation have to do something so big? Our heroes won, they should have been rewarded for winning. Instead everything they have ever done has just led to an even worse situation. Blow up the Death Star, they build a bigger one. Destroy the Empire and they build Starkiller base and cause even more destruction. In the end, our iconic heroes have left the galaxy in the worst shape it's ever been in and they all go out like chumps. Great work.

The Finn/Rose storyline has been highlighted as the huge waste of time that it was enough here, but what REALLY bothers me about the entire thing is they had the PERFECT fucking chance to redeem the Finn character and give his arc meaning/closure. I actually sat up in my seat and thought, "Omg, they're going to give this character depth and meaning, they're really going to do it!" NOOOOOOPPPE. Fucking christ you god damn pathetic pussies. Of course they couldn't pull the fucking trigger. Instead they give us this horseshit Luke astral projection scene which would have been 100% fine if they hadn't just ruined it with having him disappear. So basically all Luke did in this film was sacrifice himself to let a handful of people escape. Dreadful.

The Rey/Kylo/Snoke scene was fun and worked for me, but by having Kylo emerge from that having learned nothing and still being an angsty angry fucking kid at the end leaves no sense of why we should care about the next movie with him as the big bad. It doesn't feel like his character has grown at all.

The things that worked for me in this movie are just bullshit heart string tugging built upon a generation of Star Wars fans imaginations and emotions for the original trilogy. Everything else feels unearned and there is no way JJ or this Rian asswipe EARNED writing off Han Solo and Luke fucking Skywalker like this.

In summary, thank you for creating Star Wars George, but fuck you for ruining it.

p.s. I like rebels and clone wars

Luke and R2D2 came together, and R2 playing the clip from a new hope was fucking perfectly done. THAT is the kind of humor this film should have stuck with.

Man I was even down with Luke projecting a spry version of himself across a galaxy, it was badassery levels of power, but the real problem with having him disappear after is you'll never get the fucking payoff of Kylo and Luke REALLY going at it.

Like, if JJ fucking has him come back and pretend he was just exhausted and had to take some time to gather the force back together enough to materialize his body I'd be AOK with that.

The ending of this movie was just horse shit trash.

Another idea to fix this film would be to move the Snoke final fight to the end of the film instead. Don't let us know what Rey chose until the next film. Then take out the dumb fucking Casino shit and add in more Snoke scenes with him being a bad ass and fighting Luke Skywalker in Astral form instead of Kylo. That way you also won't know Kylo heels right back to the dark side right away.

THIS ISNT FUCKING HARD YOU DICKFACES.

Some of the repeating criticisms seem kind of daft.

#1 Rey's parentage. Why the hell do you guys believe a quick throwaway line from Kylo that she is a no-one? He's been asking her for two films who she is. It's clearly a lie. I've no clue why people are buying into that so easily.

#2 (minor) "Gravity" bombers. First off, all mass has gravity no matter how miniscule. So the repeating whining of "there's no gravity in space" is factually inaccurate. The big ass destroyer has it's own gravity, though not likely strong enough to make those bombs accelerate at that pace. However, that is very easily explained by technology. The bombs were on rails, which could have easily been electromagnetically accelerated to "drop".. they were essentially projectiles sent in a specific direction. No gravity necessary.

...

Pick your battles for criticisms of the film. Leia Poppins was atrocious and Luke's out of character behaviors were disappointing.