Three turtles decide to have a picnic. After packing their food, and drinks, and supplies, they head off. The picnic grounds are quite far away, and, being turtles. it takes them days and days reach the park. Finally, they arrive at the picnic site. After spreading their blanket and unpacking all the goodies, one of the turtles prepares to crack a cold beer, and notices that something is missing.
"Bob, where's the bottle opener," Carl asks.
"Don't ask me, I though Pete brought it. Pete, where's the bottle opener?"
"Don't look at me, you were supposed to bring it!"
So, the turtles argue furiously over who was supposed to have brought the bottle opener. Exhausted, they finally draw straws to see who has to go back for the bottle opener. Carl loses.
"If I go, you'll eat all the food! It will take me a week to walk each way. By the time I get back, there won't be anything left for me!"
Pete and Bob promise Carl that they will wait for him to return. The turtles argue for hours with Pete and Bob swearing to wait for Carl before eating. Finally, Carl agrees but he isn't very happy about it. It's getting dark and they don't want to wait any longer, so Carl sets off while Bob and Pete pack everything back up.
Ten days pass, and Bob and Pete keep their promise to Carl. Then fifteen days pass, and sixteen, then twenty. Bob and Pete are VERY hungry but they have made a promise to Carl and they want to keep it. Finally, after over a month of waiting for Carl to return, Pete and Bob realize that he isn't coming back. Reluctantly, they open the picnic basket and start to spread out the food.
Just as Bob takes a bite from his sandwich, Carl steps out from behind a bush and yells, "I knew it! I'm not fucking going!