The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

She was actually always quite apologetic later in the day when she knew she was cranky, and the next day would make a herculean effort not to be cranky. Then the day after she'd slip again. It was pretty funny.

Funniest for me really was the first morning when she was making oatmeal. She had planned out and bought all the meals, my only job food wise was to start the stove and boil however much water we needed. She also consolidated a lot of the food to reduce garbage/packaging, so we just had a big bag of oatmeal instead of a bunch of individual packets. So she tells me to boil 2 cups of water or whatever. I do that and go to pour the water in the bowls that she's put oatmeal in to. Which I observe to be damn near full of dry oatmeal.

"Hey babe, that uh, that looks like a lot of oatmeal."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"Well, okay. Sure. Great. We're going to need more water then"

"NO WE DON'T!"

*pour piddly amount of water in to massive bowls of oatmeal, we both observe the oatmeal barely get wet*

"So uhm, how much oatmeal did you put in each bowl?"

"WELL YOU SAID YOU WANTED TWO PACKAGES EACH MORNING SO THAT'S WHY THERE'S SO MUCH!"

"Babe, calm down. How much oatmeal is in each?"

"EACH PACKET IS LIKE 2/3 OF A CUP SO I MEASURED THAT AMOUNT FOR ME AND TWICE FOR YOU. IT WORKS FINE THAT WAY WHEN I DO IT AT HOME!"

"Hmmm, well, I think you may have gotten that mixed up with the amount of water needed for one packet babe. That's a LOT of oatmeal. And that would have meant we needed like 4-5 cups of water at least. I think it's a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio water to oatmeal generally."

"WHARBLEGARBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*I choke down a massive amount of dry oatmeal, hoping my stomach won't explode when it expands*

Cad_sl said:

Typical female. If you're wrong, you're an asshole and you'll get criticized for it. If she's wrong and you point it out, you're an asshole and you'll get criticized for it. If she's wrong and you don't point it out and someone else does, you're an asshole and you'll get criticized for not telling her.

If it rains, she's in a bad mood and will complain about everything. If anything doesn't go well, it's your fault. Everything gets taken out on you.

Who has time for that shit? Kick those bitches to the curb.

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That's price of being able to stick your dick in them. Beats having to argue who gets to be the catcher.

Jx3_sl said:

That's price of being able to stick your dick in them. Beats having to argue who gets to be the catcher.

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There's that, for sure. Also, she's a pretty damn good cook, while I am not. So I can sit and play a video game or surf the web for an hour or whatever while she slaves away in the kitchen.

But mostly sex.

Sex and Food. She's hitting 2 of the 3 primary points. Cook, Clean, and Fuck. If a woman can do any one of these things well, she's girlfriend material. If she can do any two of these things well, she's marriage material. If she can do all three of them well offer to lick her butthole and give her all your money. You might as well propose to this woman. She's got you bro. She's got you.

Go forth and spawn some little mounties!

lol, that's cause she was trying to actually measure shit. Like most women, actual measurements are largely a mystery. I think I must have told her that a cup is about 250ml about a dozen times and she still couldn't grasp it by the end of the trip. When she's cooking in a real kitchen, not just adding water to dehydrated meals, she just goes by taste and it generally works out awesome. She can't cook steak worth a shit though, but that's man's work anyways.

Cad_sl said:

Typical female. If you're wrong, you're an asshole and you'll get criticized for it. If she's wrong and you point it out, you're an asshole and you'll get criticized for it. If she's wrong and you don't point it out and someone else does, you're an asshole and you'll get criticized for not telling her.

If it rains, she's in a bad mood and will complain about everything. If anything doesn't go well, it's your fault. Everything gets taken out on you.

Who has time for that shit? Kick those bitches to the curb.

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amen

Kirun_sl said:

I can't stand this line of thinking. Women's irrational behavior and craziness is a "price" we have to pay? Give me a break. If men were half as irrational as women are, we'd be kicked to the curb in 5 seconds flat.

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So when are you adding a second 'i' to your name and switching teams?

Eh...she's on a long backpacking trip for the first time. That's a test of wills for anyone, so I wouldnt blame tthe snappyness. If she's like that all the time, that's another story.

And a chick (hell, anyone really) that can reflect on their past behavior and make amends is not all that common of a quality

The whole HSV1/HSV2 thing is shit they teach nurses. If you think you can get a blowjob from a chick with a cold sore and you're not going to get herpes then you're just past reasoning with. Mucous membranes are mucous membranes. In the real world you don't know, it doesn't matter and we've all been exposed anyway from the hundreds of unsolicited contacts we've had with food, drink, our hands, relatives slobbering all over us, grandma kisses, etc. A significant amount of people are just extremely resistant to breaking out.

Herpes is like, a fucking innate part of human DNA at this point. We co-evolved with this fucking ancient family of viruses. There's probably hundreds of deactivated incorporated ancient herpes viruses innate in the human genome at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a key factor in human evolution due to transpositions and shit.

I have nothing to add with regards to finances or bitches being crazy. I fully plan on having a secret bank account in addition to "our" joint bank account. Because bitches be crazy, yo.

Iannis_sl said:

Sex and Food. She's hitting 2 of the 3 primary points. Cook, Clean, and Fuck. If a woman can do any one of these things well, she's girlfriend material. If she can do any two of these things well, she's marriage material. If she can do all three of them well offer to lick her butthole and give her all your money. You might as well propose to this woman. She's got you bro. She's got you.

Go forth and spawn some little mounties!

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Quoting for posterity. My girlfriend only manages 1 1/2 ... She keeps the place clean/laundry... and she can bake (but not cook).

Kirun_sl said:

Because a price shouldhaveto be payed, for the glory of a female's genitals, amirite?! I hate that men think we should have to put up with constant irrationality and bitching, as a cost we should just "accept" and have to endure.

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This is what I deserve for making a tongue in cheek joke I suppose.

I agree with you, but until women become ruled by logic instead of emotions and/or sexbots get invented, men are screwed.

Big Phoenix_sl said:

Men are just as dumb as women. Women being wired differently obviously causes them to come to their dumb conclusions differently than men, but make no mistake that men are just as dumb as women.

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No argument here. But we do tend to reach our peak idiocy much quicker and are sometimes able to point out what caused the dumb. *shrug*