The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
I'd personally recommend avoiding psych drugs anyway, even if they did have a loathing-b-gone. Which, they do have a few.

But that's not treatment. That's a business model.

Depends on who you ask, I guess. I've got a psychiatrist friend who I have this conversation with every few months. He calls me a hateful fundie, and retarded. I call him a witch doctor, and dishonest. Old friends are the best sort. You can just shit all over each other and get it all out.

Self-loathing might be a bit more common than you assume. NOT crippling self loathing, that's obviously unhealthy. But I think a little bit is normal. Honest. And it stems from different sources. Hell, I wasn't even thinking of gay-shame. If you've still got that at your age something is VERY fucked up. And that's not an insult. Whenever I get in a real self-loathing mood I have to examine where my thoughts are diverging from my daily reality -- and 90% of the time, that's where the loathing is coming from.

Sometimes though I do just fucking feel bad. And that's where the Witch-Doctor is right. A pillwouldhelp. But fuck him and his voodoo.
 
Izo

Izo

Tranny Chaser
18,615
21,590
Mist_sl said:
That's got nothing to do with it. I don't date much because of self-worth issues, nothing to do with shame for being gay. I've dated two girls in the past 6 months, but neither for very long. It's very hard to in a relationship when you feel completely worthless and you don't understand how the other person could ever possibly like you.

I mean, and that's the real crux of my issues. Even when the depression lifts, I'm still stuck with incredibly low feelings of self-worth and that is not something that you can snap your fingers and fix with drugs. And it's REALLY hard for me to relate to other people, because we live in this society where everyone is a fucking narcissist and I'm the only one who hates herself. I also realize that having low self-worth makes me very vulnerable to being exploited by others, which is why I'd rather just be exploited in my current situation instead. Better to be abused by someone you know, right?
Click to expand...
You're not worthless. You do need some perspective though. Have you thought about going to Africa? Helping starvin' Marvins for a year opens your eyes.
 
Hoss

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,729
13,221
Mist_sl said:
Like I said, hard to explain. For instance, I was cleaning rat carcasses and rat shit out of my shed the other day, and it really didn't feel any more miserable than everything else in my miserable life.
Click to expand...
What I wonder is, how do you know cleaning rat carcasses is supposed to be more miserable than watching TV? You say to you it's all a constant state of misery so how would you know whether that was a solid example? It would have been more believable if you'd named something that's not generally considered miserable because you really couldn't tell the difference.

Mist_sl said:
That's got nothing to do with it. I don't date much because of self-worth issues, nothing to do with shame for being gay. I've dated two girls in the past 6 months, but neither for very long. It's very hard to in a relationship when you feel completely worthless and you don't understand how the other person could ever possibly like you.
Click to expand...
I have the same issues once in a while. I used to say that what I needed was a woman with low self esteem and bad eyesight. But now, I tell my wife I don't deserve her, then she sucks my dick and the feeling goes away. Maybe you should get a girlfriend who will suck your dick.

Quick question, is this the discussion that was going on the virgin/lesbian thread? Cause if so, maybe it should be moved back. Unless the girl is Mist's mom, I don't see anything about girls breaking anyone's heart here.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Mist_sl said:
That's got nothing to do with it. I don't date much because of self-worth issues, nothing to do with shame for being gay. I've dated two girls in the past 6 months, but neither for very long. It's very hard to in a relationship when you feel completely worthless and you don't understand how the other person could ever possibly like you.

I mean, and that's the real crux of my issues. Even when the depression lifts, I'm still stuck with incredibly low feelings of self-worth and that is not something that you can snap your fingers and fix with drugs. And it's REALLY hard for me to relate to other people, because we live in this society where everyone is a fucking narcissist and I'm the only one who hates herself. I also realize that having low self-worth makes me very vulnerable to being exploited by others, which is why I'd rather just be exploited in my current situation instead. Better to be abused by someone you know, right?
Click to expand...
Shit sucks man. You need a change of scenery for sure.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
24,521
45,531
Mist_sl said:
Now, it's easy to argue that what I'm doing is self destructive, sure, but the important part is thatno one else will do it, so that doesn't matter.
Click to expand...
I don't get why your basketcase mom is your problem. She's a god damned adult and has created her own problems. She made her life, let her live it. No guilt involved.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
24,521
45,531
Mist_sl said:
That's got nothing to do with it. I don't date much because of self-worth issues, nothing to do with shame for being gay. I've dated two girls in the past 6 months, but neither for very long. It's very hard to in a relationship when you feel completely worthless and you don't understand how the other person could ever possibly like you.

I mean, and that's the real crux of my issues. Even when the depression lifts, I'm still stuck with incredibly low feelings of self-worth and that is not something that you can snap your fingers and fix with drugs. And it's REALLY hard for me to relate to other people, because we live in this society where everyone is a fucking narcissist and I'm the only one who hates herself. I also realize that having low self-worth makes me very vulnerable to being exploited by others, which is why I'd rather just be exploited in my current situation instead. Better to be abused by someone you know, right?
Click to expand...
How do you have self worth issues when you come off as insanely arrogant and self-important on this board? You go on and on about how smart you are, how your academic credentials are X Y and Z, your research, you're a skinny white girl, how ugly could you be? Whats the problem?
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Cad_sl said:
How do you have self worth issues when you come off as insanely arrogant and self-important on this board? You go on and on about how smart you are, how your academic credentials are X Y and Z, your research, you're a skinny white girl, how ugly could you be? Whats the problem?
Click to expand...
Are you being sarcastic or do you really not realize that people who brag the most about themselves online are usually the most insecure in person?
 
Hoss

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,729
13,221
Cad_sl said:
How do you have self worth issues when you come off as insanely arrogant and self-important on this board? You go on and on about how smart you are, how your academic credentials are X Y and Z, your research, you're a skinny white girl, how ugly could you be? Whats the problem?
Click to expand...
Sutekh beat me to it, but I brought an infographic.
RL pic of mist

catfish.jpg
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
24,521
45,531
Sutekh_sl said:
Are you being sarcastic or do you really not realize that people who brag the most about themselves online are usually the most insecure in person?
Click to expand...
Obviously, but unless she's straight up lying about herself to present a false picture, she's a reasonably upper middle class educated person who has personality issues but otherwise shouldn't have some severe self-worth problem. She's not a hambeast, she doesn't have serious financial issues, she doesn't have a gaggle of kids, she's good dating material. Don't see what the problem is.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Cad_sl said:
Obviously, but unless she's straight up lying about herself to present a false picture, she's a reasonably upper middle class educated person who has personality issues but otherwise shouldn't have some severe self-worth problem. She's not a hambeast, she doesn't have serious financial issues, she doesn't have a gaggle of kids, she's good dating material. Don't see what the problem is.
Click to expand...
Brains don't work that way man. Sometimes I find myself thinking "shit who would want to date me?!" But I'm able to catch myself and realize that tons of bitches want to fuck. Sometimes you just get in a rut and can't get yourself out.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
<Gold Donor>
18,763
34,985
Mist_sl said:
This is all a huge double standard by the way. When a man does a job he hates and lives with a woman he despises, for the sake of his children, it's considered noble. But me, carrying my mother through chronic illness, 4 major natural disasters, and a failed marriage, is somehow pathetic?
Click to expand...
ROFL. Noble according to whom? Any man who wasn't a neckbeard and had actual friends of worth would be shamed into throwing his mother into a home/state institution. Boys are excellent about shaming each other into growing the fuck up.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
21,829
39,704
Mist_sl said:
That's got nothing to do with it. I don't date much because of self-worth issues, nothing to do with shame for being gay. I've dated two girls in the past 6 months, but neither for very long. It's very hard to in a relationship when you feel completely worthless and you don't understand how the other person could ever possibly like you.

I mean, and that's the real crux of my issues. Even when the depression lifts, I'm still stuck with incredibly low feelings of self-worth and that is not something that you can snap your fingers and fix with drugs. And it's REALLY hard for me to relate to other people, because we live in this society where everyone is a fucking narcissist and I'm the only one who hates herself. I also realize that having low self-worth makes me very vulnerable to being exploited by others, which is why I'd rather just be exploited in my current situation instead. Better to be abused by someone you know, right?
Click to expand...
Speaking from personal experience (previously moderately bipolar with self esteem issues). You always have the option of just choosing to stop hating yourself. Just like everything else in life it's 99% just making a decision and sticking with it. The past isn't worth living in, and the future is full of interesting possibilities. You are just as worthy of happiness as anyone else, you just have to choose it and work towards it.
 
Mist

Mist

Eeyore Enthusiast
<Gold Donor>
30,500
22,414
Cad_sl said:
Obviously, but unless she's straight up lying about herself to present a false picture, she's a reasonably upper middle class educated person who has personality issues but otherwise shouldn't have some severe self-worth problem. She's not a hambeast, she doesn't have serious financial issues, she doesn't have a gaggle of kids, she's good dating material. Don't see what the problem is.
Click to expand...
There's nothing "upper middle class" about me aside from being smart, white and having reasonable values. I grew up in the very definition of a white ghetto, I was malnourished and sickly (growing up poor during the Reagan years was brutal) until I was 8 years old when I moved up to only being rural poor instead of urban dirt poor. I was lucky in that I got a very good paying job at only 15 years old because I just happened to know more about Windows networking than anyone working at the school district, but my parents never put away a single dime away for me for college, or helped me buy a car, or anything like that that you would expect from a middle class family.

I mean, I'm fucking stupid, I get that. I could have gone to any college in the world for free or nearly free, but my parents said that I'd never have a place to come back to if I left to go to a real school. I didn't realize how dumb that decision was at the time, but I am certainly suffering for it now. I could have just packed my bags and moved out and got a real career the day I graduated high school, I had almost 3 years of solid IT experience.

I'm not blaming my mistakes on other people, just dispelling the myth that I had all these 'upper middle class' resources to work with. I have self-worth issues and I'm extremely risk averse. And yes, the fact that I was so sickly as a child has a lot to do with why I have guilt issues leaving my mother now that she's the one that's sick.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Mist_sl said:
There's nothing "upper middle class" about me aside from being smart, white and having reasonable values. I grew up in the very definition of a white ghetto, I was malnourished and sickly (growing up poor during the Reagan years was brutal) until I was 8 years old when I moved up to only being rural poor instead of urban dirt poor. I was lucky in that I got a very good paying job at only 15 years old because I just happened to know more about Windows networking than anyone working at the school district, but my parents never put away a single dime away for me for college, or helped me buy a car, or anything like that that you would expect from a middle class family.

I mean, I'm fucking stupid, I get that. I could have gone to any college in the world for free or nearly free, but my parents said that I'd never have a place to come back to if I left to go to a real school. I didn't realize how dumb that decision was at the time, but I am certainly suffering for it now. I could have just packed my bags and moved out and got a real career the day I graduated high school, I had almost 3 years of solid IT experience.

I'm not blaming my mistakes on other people, just dispelling the myth that I had all these 'upper middle class' resources to work with. I have self-worth issues and I'm extremely risk averse. And yes, the fact that I was so sickly as a child has a lot to do with why I have guilt issues leaving my mother now that she's the one that's sick.
Click to expand...
That's what parents do, take care of sick kids. Kids don't take care of sick parents. The only reason parents take care of their sick children is because they're children and they have no way of doing that themselves. From that tiny paragraph it sounds like your parents did more to hurt you than help you, I'd still say fuck em and leave. Doesn't sound like your blaming your mistakes on anyone, sounds more like you're trying to find reasons to justify your mistakes so you can accept them and say to yourself "yep, everything's all FUBAR, nothing I can do about it!"
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
24,521
45,531
Mist_sl said:
There's nothing "upper middle class" about me aside from being smart, white and having reasonable values. I grew up in the very definition of a white ghetto, I was malnourished and sickly (growing up poor during the Reagan years was brutal) until I was 8 years old when I moved up to only being rural poor instead of urban dirt poor. I was lucky in that I got a very good paying job at only 15 years old because I just happened to know more about Windows networking than anyone working at the school district, but my parents never put away a single dime away for me for college, or helped me buy a car, or anything like that that you would expect from a middle class family.

I mean, I'm fucking stupid, I get that. I could have gone to any college in the world for free or nearly free, but my parents said that I'd never have a place to come back to if I left to go to a real school. I didn't realize how dumb that decision was at the time, but I am certainly suffering for it now. I could have just packed my bags and moved out and got a real career the day I graduated high school, I had almost 3 years of solid IT experience.

I'm not blaming my mistakes on other people, just dispelling the myth that I had all these 'upper middle class' resources to work with. I have self-worth issues and I'm extremely risk averse. And yes, the fact that I was so sickly as a child has a lot to do with why I have guilt issues leaving my mother now that she's the one that's sick.
Click to expand...
I meant you're an upper middle class person now (at least theoretically), not that you started that way.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.