The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Cheating for over a month with a co-worker? It's over already. It wasn't just a fling or just sex.

If it was just a drunk hookup with a stranger one time then you might be able to salvage it. Cant see this working out for you though

Eh, I think the real problem here is forgiveness. At some point for your marriage to genuinely be reconciled and not just put on life support until the next time you have a reason to get divorced, you have to genuinely forgive her for what she did. Without lying to yourself, do you really think you're capable of forgiving her for banging one of her co-workers for a month and a half?

Nosce te ipsum.

You shouldn't have said anything and just started banging someone yourself. Then if you got caught see if she confessed or kept hers hidden and tried to disgrace you. That would have cleared up what kind of woman you were dealing with.

Actually she probably would have thrown hers right in your face then rationalized some bullshit reasons why you were the one in the wrong not her.

Talk to a lawyer to draw up a postnuptial and start going to counseling. During your sessions make it clear you have huge trust issues now and a postnuptial will help nullify these feelings and perhaps you can move forward and past it. If she doesnt sign it, she doesnt give a shit about your feelings and you're already prepared with a lawyer in tow. If she signs it, you've covered your ass. Just taking money out of a joint account and putting it elsewhere does not protect it. If she wants it she can take it via her lawyer and bank statements.

After you fail counseling in 6 months file for divorce. The counseling shows you had a willingness to fix your problems, and the postnuptial protects you if she goes crazy and racks up debt during the time you're attempting to fix the marriage.

I say move on but realize it's difficult. You probably won't ever get over it so do you want a daily reminder or a weekly reminder for the rest of your life? People change the only thing that's static is you don't want to be the guy with the wife who's got a fucking boyfriend. Christ what a christmas party that would be.

The fact that she works with the guy means she can't just simply cut off communication. She gonna change jobs? Based on what you've said doesn't seem like you'd be able to trust her to just continue working at the same company as the guy and just take her word for it.

What were the text exchanges like? Seems like she wanted to get caught man, like she has some real feelings for the guy or something because otherwise she would have just deleted the texts after she read them instead of saving them all and locking the phone. I don't think there's a person on earth who wouldn't find their SO suddenly locking their phone as suspicious. Or is your wife not much of a thinker?

I couldn't forgive her. Cheating is the mega "nope" for me. As other have said make sure to get your duckies in a row. Do the counseling, get a lawyer to write up a post nuptial.

Jx3_sl said:

I couldn't forgive her. Cheating is the mega "nope" for me. As other have said make sure to get your duckies in a row. Do the counseling, get a lawyer to write up a post nuptial.

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I might be able to forgive a one night stand if a relationship was in a bad place, she admitted it (instead of me finding out), she felt genuinely bad about it, etc. But an ongoing affair, especially with someone I probably know? Start packing, cunt.

Basically: momentary indiscretion is probably forgivable, dating someone else when you are married isn't. Well, to me at least.

Khane_sl said:

The fact that she works with the guy means she can't just simply cut off communication.

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He said she "used to" work with him.

I dunno. You don't have kids. You really are just starting out together, basically.

Sounds kind of like poison, tbh. Best case is that she can't control her infatuations.

Which is perfectly forgivable. But not something you want to invest 20 years into.

He said they have a two year old daughter and have been together fifteen years...

Oh, I can't read. Young kid. Makes it more complicated by quite a bit. Lawyers will have to be involved.

Famm_sl said:

He said she "used to" work with him.

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Tonic_sl said:

Guy was a co-worker and she says she told him that they're done communicating.

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I guess "was" could mean past tense for the co-worker part, or it could be past tense for the affair part. Needs clarification!

Tonic_sl said:

Confronted her, she admitted to it, and I made her call her parents and let them know what she did. She slept at their place last night. We own a home, join credit card (low limit, no debt on it). Only debt we have are student loans and the house.

Still trying to figure out if I want to try and salvage this or not, as she has expressed a desire to do so. I type that with gritted teeth.

I just can't that fucking image out of my head, and with my imagination works, I don't think I will be able to for a long gd time, if ever.

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Paternity test. If she'll do it once, she'll do it twice. Together for 14 years but only married for 6? She's fucked other guys while on a "break" with you at some point in your relationship. GUARANTEED.

When the test comes back and the child isn't yours, it will make your divorce that much easier and less likely for a judge to fuck you over with alimony, although you'll probably have to pay child support even if it isn't yours.

I agree with the ant man on this one

Antarius_sl said:

Paternity test. If she'll do it once, she'll do it twice. Together for 14 years but only married for 6? She's fucked other guys while on a "break" with you at some point in your relationship. GUARANTEED.

When the test comes back and the child isn't yours, it will make your divorce that much easier and less likely for a judge to fuck you over with alimony, although you'll probably have to pay child support even if it isn't yours.

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Never ceases to deliver. Awesome.