War Machine (2026)

Bald Brah

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Wow this was shit.

I love Ritchson, was a big fan of blue mountain state and titans. Loved Reacher too.

But man this movie was retarded. It wasn't even as good as the JLo mech movie. At least the plot made sense in that one.

Here we have a giant alien mech that for some reason is sent to take out a squad of ranger trainees? As if unarmed light infantry cadets would be an alien invaders priority target?

This was absolutely retarded once the alien lands. It was decent up until that point. But yeah fighting a super tech mecha godzilla monster with a bulldozer was fucking dumb. Having that thing chase a squad of unarmed dudes through the woods on a training exercise was dumb. Why were they not leveling cities and military installations? Backwoods mountain training areas aren't very target rich.
 

Intrinsic

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Y'all are being entirely too critical of an obviously bad movie. There was zero expectation this was anything but generic and bad and it lived up to all of that. I can’t even be mad at it.

Putting more effort into it than it is worth , I will say the worst part was giving Reacher a leg injury. Why does he need more sympathy or gimmick to drive and motivate him? Just let him be a badass. Duke was a badass in Predator. He didn’t need these handicaps of regret or physical injury. Alan Ritchson is a giant human so let him do that.
 
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Intrinsic

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Why were they not leveling cities and military installations? Backwoods mountain training areas aren't very target rich.
did you finish the movie? No one will blame you if you didn’t, but I mean… it is kind of the last 15 minutes.
 

Homsar

Golden Baronet of the Realm
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Ok I thought I made it through majority of the movie but I don't remember a bulldozer. I like Ritchson content typically but he seems like a douch IRL
 
  • 1Worf
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mkopec

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So the movie sucked, ey? I was kinda looking forward to this one, as a dumb 80s type action movie with better effects.
 

Kaige

Random Encounter
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If there's even a sliver of hope that someone wanted this movie made to break Don Cheadle's balls about him never getting a War Machine movie, I will consider this a spiritual success.
 
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Vuuxo

Scaphism
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So the movie sucked, ey? I was kinda looking forward to this one, as a dumb 80s type action movie with better effects.
Just watch the bad 80s movie. It's better than whatever the fuck this movie was trying to be.

Even Battlefield Earth was better than this. Yeah! I fucking said it. Fight me.
 
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Valderen

Space Pirate
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I'm more tolerant than most and even I find it pretty awful, can't believe I actually finished it.
 

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
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was this script written by a retard?

i'll give him a noogie!!!
he's my big brother
DFQ!!!

and boot camp gets worse
 

Vuuxo

Scaphism
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was this script written by a retard?

i'll give him a noogie!!!
he's my big brother
DFQ!!!

and boot camp gets worse
Not only was boot in the movie bad, the cadres were weirdly polite. They... fucking...asked...for...consent...
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Ritchson said he doesn’t understand Christians who support Donald Trump and made comments on law enforcement getting away with murder. (He’s right, though.)


 
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Bald Brah

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Ritchson was always a bit of a homo. No surprises here.
 

faille

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I thought this was pretty good up until the War Machine appeared. As someone said, they set a good foundation for a redemption style story.
Then they went with a temu predator for the rest of it.

At least they didn't have any trams in the back ground. I'm a sucker for anything filmed locally and like spotting familiar things, but only thing that came close was the obstacle course training area, which I drive past every day and knew they had filmed there.