Welcome to Jooka's 2nd annual* PS4 Giveaway!

Bandwagon said:

eXarc - You'll still have to hit up @Hatorade for a game.
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And, as promised, here is exarc's novel -
And a quote to get you started "His four and a half inch monstrosity was harder than the foundation London was built upon."

Spoiler

Dirty Denny's
an FoH original
by eXarc




Ravven's lips smacked against the tissue wadded in her delicate fingers, disposing of any excess make up. She needed to look perfect. "Fuck, I'm going to be late. He hates it when I'm late," she muttered to herself, exasperated. Her heels clicked and clacked against the dirty kitchen floor tiles on her way to the door. She paused before reaching for the door handle and pulled a prescription bottle from her oversized Michael Kors bag. "Better to just have a few now and get it over with," she proclaimed to herself. She threw the pale blue Vicodin pills into the back of her throat with the confidence and precision of a Navy Seal sniper. She was ready.

"You're late," Alex said in a firm tone, a disappointing expression forming across his shrewd face. It was cold outside, and there were homeless people lighting cigarettes across the parking lot near the dumpster. It made her want to light up, but she knew that wouldn't be possible now. The only thing she'd be smoking tonight was sitting between two Oxen-size balls in the beige chinos of the greatest guild leader of all time.

He cleared his throat and looked directly into her eyes, "Before we go in, I need you to check the WoW sub-forums and see if anyone has responded to my request. Those cocksuckers WILL cave, I don't give a fuck how long it takes. I'll throw those board meeting assholes out of a fucking window before I let my guild get fucked out of loot." She pulled out her brand new rose gold iPhone that had been given to her by strangers on the internet and opened a browser window. She hesitated for a split second. She had forgotten to tell the admins about the breach that occurred this morning. She had to pull the servers down indefinitely, and Furor had not yet heard about it. She decided she was going to lie about it, but before she could, Furor had already sensed something wrong. "Excuse me, do you think Grand Slams are going to wait all fucking day? I'm starving. Bring up the website and lets get this over with, for fucks sake," he practically screamed at her. "I...I...Alex..." she stumbled over her words, while the fear from the growing tension climbed into her ovaries and made her wet. "The servers are down. I'm so sorr-" he cut her off before she had a chance to finish. He flung open the backseat to his car and pulled her by the hair towards the opening, throwing her ass first over the shitty faux-leather. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE SERVERS ARE DOWN?" he belted out, furious that he had been unaware of the situation. "I DON'T GIVE YOU XBOX ONES AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF SHOES AND VICODIN FOR MY FUCKING SERVERS TO BE DOWN, BITCH," he shouted, red with fury. She said nothing, as she knew there was nothing she could do at this point to remedy his volcanic displeasure. His body tore at her skirt and panties with unbelievable speed - only the sort of speed and dexterity that could be cultivated from tanking for some of the best MMORPG raiders on the planet. It turned her on. "I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU. I WAS GOING TO BUY YOU A SAUSAGE AND EGG BREAKFAST PLATE, BUT NOW...NOW YOU'LL HAVE MY SAUSAGE INSTEAD," he screamed, almost not even getting the words out properly from being so angry. At this point, her self worth was lower than Yahoo stock. She was wetter than a dog stuck outside in a Southeast Asian monsoon. "I'm...I'm sorry Alex, punish me however you see fit," she whimpered. His four and a half inch monstrosity was harder than the foundation London was built upon. She grasped at the seat-belts, desperate for something to cling on to as he pounded her harder than a construction worker with a jackhammer and an old grudge. He grunted furiously as his muscles started to convulse, his well shaped fingers shaking against her neck. He pulled out and flipped her over at the last second, finishing all over her freshly dry cleaned black dress and made up face. He let out a deep sigh of relief, exhaustion and frustration. "I can't even be bothered to be seen in public with you anymore, you unreliable piece of shit." She slowly climbed out of the backseat of the car and corrected her posture. "But, don't you at least want to get a meal here? We're already at Denny's...I mean..." she pleaded. "Absolutely fucking not," he shot back at her, cold as ice, he continued "and get those fucking servers back up." Furor spun around and climbed back into his vehicle. He turned the key to his '07 Ford Focus and sped off without another word.

She made her way into the Denny's with a melancholy aura emanating from her presence. She sat at the bar. "What'll I get for you, hun?" the waitress said sweetly. "Just a black coffee, thanks." Ravenn wiped away a lonesome tear from her cheek. "No problem, sweetheart. Be right back."

The waitress slid the hot coffee across the tabletop to Ravven. She took a sip and felt a bit more comfortable. "Hey sweetie, I hate to tell you, but you have something on your lip. Right there. Yep. You got it."

"Oh thanks," she said as she felt around her face for the offending substance. There it was. Sticky. Gross. It was Furor's baby syrup. She wasn't even embarrassed. This was the third time this month this had happened. She resolved herself to popping another Vicodin and bumming a cigarette from the homeless guys across the lot. Fuck it.

pharmakos - sorry fella. Daddy Warbucks went nuclear.

@jooka - calm your #tits, your ps4 will be in the mail by friday.

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