Whats rustling your jimmies?

Control

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Not that it's a surprise, but:
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Lambourne

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Confirmed, our Video thread is still unwatchable.

Try turning off media autoplay, it's in about:config for firefox versions and can be turned off in most other browsers too. I keep that shit off by default because autoplaying videos rustle me.
 
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RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
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A woman t-boned me in a parking lot… my poor Mach-e :(

Fuuuu, that sucks. 95% of the dumb shit like that in Dashcam videos is always women. My 1st GF was basically that girl in the 'I wish these were brains' t-shirt, and she would almost wreck every single parking lot, going like 40MPH through it. Once she went the wrong way down a 1 way street I stopped being nice and drove again :p
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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and she would almost wreck every single parking lot, going like 40MPH through it.

Now you've gone and rustled my jimmies because you reminded me of my last accident. Some stupid cunt was racing through the parking lot way too close to the cars, hit my trailer hitch and pushed me into the car next to me. Because I had the truck in gear, it was called my fault. I hadn't even fucking moved. I was looking back when it happened and never saw her. Had no idea why my truck was going sideways until I got out and saw my trailer hitch had ripped a gash in her car. She was in a sports car that was low to the ground. There was room in the drive for 3 cars to be side by side, but this bitch was scraping down the edge for some reason. When she called her dad this is what I heard "Daddy. I did it again ....... no this time it was a taco bell" Bitch didn't even have a valid license. She had turned 18 days earlier and never got it renewed. Because it was in a parking lot the cop didn't write her a ticket and with no citation issued, the insurance company wouldn't even entertain the notion that it wasn't my fault.

Man, fuck your cunt girlfriend.
 
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Control

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Now you've gone and rustled my jimmies because you reminded me of my last accident. Some stupid cunt was racing through the parking lot way too close to the cars, hit my trailer hitch and pushed me into the car next to me. Because I had the truck in gear, it was called my fault. I hadn't even fucking moved. I was looking back when it happened and never saw her. Had no idea why my truck was going sideways until I got out and saw my trailer hitch had ripped a gash in her car. She was in a sports car that was low to the ground. There was room in the drive for 3 cars to be side by side, but this bitch was scraping down the edge for some reason. When she called her dad this is what I heard "Daddy. I did it again ....... no this time it was a taco bell" Bitch didn't even have a valid license. She had turned 18 days earlier and never got it renewed. Because it was in a parking lot the cop didn't write her a ticket and with no citation issued, the insurance company wouldn't even entertain the notion that it wasn't my fault.

Man, fuck your cunt girlfriend.

From the comments:
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Burren

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everyone in the city of Austin looks like they mainline soy into their veins
 
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Rathar

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Have you ever racked one of your balls between the fabric of your pants and leg/whatnot? Fucking hurts man!
It seems akin to the olde drinking water -wrong- or eating food -wrong- and cough sputtering but instead it's one of your testicles. Fuck! It shouldn't be possible to roll a 1 to wear/use pants.
Spent the rest of the day at work moving gingerly and for the TMI part just felt myself up and yup. A meaty bruise bump. Gonna give it a day and then I'll worry if it doesn't go away.
I recently had a full body PET-CT scan though because I am an Old so not worried but...My literal Jimmy is rustled as fuck.
 
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Conefed

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Department Director: Fill out a ticket for me requesting XYZ; also, tag important person

Me: XYZ? I repeat back to them in confirmation as I write it in my notes.
Me: Creates ticket

Important person: XYZ?! That doesn't even make sense in context of the request.

Me: That's what they said, please ask them for further clarification.

Important person: Spoke with Director, they said they have no idea what you're talking about. Closing ticket.

Last part wasn't through email but in the public ticketing system notes for everybody across everywhere to see. People read those.
 
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Siliconemelons

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At an event, group of black people don’t stand for the anthem but the black dude with them wearing a marines shirt did. People come on, stand or gtfo to somewhere you want to be, it’s America your free to go
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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My lawyer is kind of a retard, and chalked full of narcotics from a hip surgery. My ex's lawyer sounds like a bumpkin retard too.

Cad Cad Butthurt Butthurt - how do I find a family law attorney that isn't a 90yo retard?
 

Butthurt

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My lawyer is kind of a retard, and chalked full of narcotics from a hip surgery. My ex's lawyer sounds like a bumpkin retard too.

Cad Cad Butthurt Butthurt - how do I find a family law attorney that isn't a 90yo retard?
Check the State Bar website in your state. You should be able to whittle it down by practice area, and then start calling around for referrals after that
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Check the State Bar website in your state. You should be able to whittle it down by practice area, and then start calling around for referrals after that
They have an inquiry tool that I used 3 times. The first two never called me back. I retained the 3rd
 

Butthurt

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They have an inquiry tool that I used 3 times. The first two never called me back. I retained the 3rd
Haha,

maybe just search for "family law" and your county where you are at. that should localize the results a bit, and then you can hit up their websites
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Haha,

maybe just search for "family law" and your county where you are at. that should localize the results a bit, and then you can hit up their websites
Don't you have a secret lawyer database you can search for me, to find whoever has the highest k/d ratio?!