Whats rustling your jimmies?

Big Phoenix said:

Mother fucking woodpecker man. On vacation and wanting to sleep but nope, stupid fucking bird decides it needs to bang on metal at 7am in the morning.

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I've been told they do it on metal so it's louder to attract mates. One did it on a transformer outside of my house and it sounded like a machine gun lol

When you go to take a piss and when your starting to dribble-finish, you decide to “clamp down on the spigot” and out of nowhere you shoot a burst of urine and spray the back of the seat

Vuuxo said:

So, update time...

The wife and I spent ALL of Monday at the doctors as they did countless tests and labs on her.
Good news is, it's not cancer. She has some pretty gnarly cysts though, which will require a hysterectomy.

Bad news is, she also has "long covid" AND fibromyalgia. She is diabetic so I wasn't too surprised by the fibromyalgia diagnosis. It was a huge relief for both of us that it wasn't cancer, so we're celebrating tonight with a dinner date and then movie and snacks at home with the pups.


* For those that haven't read my other posts the foot notes are; Wife had a CT scan, doctor told her it was cancer, obgyn said CT scans are terrible for that. They couldn't see her for testing till late May, I said fuck that, found a doctor 3 hours away that could see her Monday, this past Monday 4/8/2024.

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That's huge man, glad to hear it. Big sigh of relief. Go punch that first doctor who mis-diagnosed right in the dick.

Device at work is down and boss tells me the team that fixes them are very good but are no nonsense and will deprioritize any property that doesn't do their due diligence first (I imagined Seinfeld's Soup Nazi character), so check everything first.

I do so, up and down. Redirect the ticket from us to the team and within an hour they respond. They determine the device is turned off. Recommendation: turn it on. Closes ticket.

It looks like I didn't check the common IT mistake but I did. When I confirmed it was off the coworker next to it said, "Yeah. It's broke so I turned it off." He had this face like he was proud of himself, like he had figured out the solution.

Not sure I even said anything to him. But at the smoking pit was his director. Said no names but told him never to shut the machines off. In the very least they get patched over night. Doesn't matter if you're done with them - you're not the only one using them.

--

Put my parked car in reverse, moved maybe a foot when the street kids decided to play ball - literally braked to not hit them. So much for leaving the short way out.

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Friend of person who has been ghosting me said I should reach out to them.

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Big Phoenix said:

Woodpecker started banging again at 6am and continued on for probably an hour.

I hope that thing gets smashed by a car.

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careful, youre gonna have the foh varmint police quoting all the theoretical laws and penalties for shooting a problem bird in private on your own property

on this forum we discuss the downfall of western society and the day of warm hugs but shooting varmints is a bridge too far sir!

That’s why the air rifle was suggested less sound hehe

Big Phoenix said:

And he was back at 6am today banging away.


Problem is I dont live on a quiet out of the way street. Fucking thing is probably protected under some dumb federal law and risking a pound me in the ass prison sentence.

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What is it actually pecking at though? Like something you can tape up a piece of foam to temporarily so it gets sad and goes away?

*Sigh* This just happened today. Also this isn't the first time. THIS time, the kid fucked around and found out. I had to calm down a bit before writing this.

Pulled up behind a car at the gas station and start pumping my gas and get back in my car. The guy in front of me is done pumping gas and pulls off. It looks like I'm an idiot and didn't pull up to the furthest tank. Some little rice burning Honda CRX pulls up behind me and starts mashing his horn. I ignore him. There is plenty of room to pull up to the pump ahead of me. He does so. Some five foot five Spanish dude gets out his car and what does he do? Spits on my car, and walks up to my window.

I honest to goodness did my best to remain calm. It's just a car.

Now, I know look like some old ass man behind my steering wheel, especially when I look down my readers at you. I roll my window down and tell him these exact words...

"My man, I will let this slide. Please get away from my car."

He spits on me.

Now, I can honestly say I am still ridiculously strong. (Still benching over 405 lbs at age 52). I open the door so hard and fast it knocks him into the trash can between pumps. He knocks it over, and falls loses his balance. I'm now out the car, and hulking over him. I grab him by his pants and throw him like 10 feet to the front of his car.

His GIRL gets out the car yelling at me in fuckin some googly Faulty Armor language, and gets right in my face. (well my chest). I tell her to back up and check her man. SHE tries to push me. I grab this dumb bitch by the neck, and was about to toss her, until this woman on the opposite pump says to me, not to waste my time. It's not worth it...etc etc.

I let her go. SHE starts dialing 911. The same woman that stops me, tells her she saw everything, and her and her boyfriend will go to jail if they show up.

All this time the boyfriend is trying to get up off the ground. NO idea why he was still on the ground. I didn't hit him anywhere that would disorient him like that.

Both these clowns got in their car, and speed off. I'm done with my gas. Wave to the lady. Drive off, go home.

Police show up at my door an hour later. I give my mother my ATM card, and proceed to open the door. I'm not looking happy I guess because the cops say to me "Bad day huh?"

Twister. They ask me do I want to file charges. Apparently the gas station called the police, and they got everyone's plates off the cameras. I tell em yep. They say the kid is local, and they will take care of it. That's it.

My blood pressure is thru the roof. I feel like my head is about to explode.

Brahma said:

*Sigh* This just happened today. Also this isn't the first time. THIS time, the kid fucked around and found out. I had to calm down a bit before writing this.

Pulled up behind a car at the gas station and start pumping my gas and get back in my car. The guy in front of me is done pumping gas and pulls off. It looks like I'm an idiot and didn't pull up to the furthest tank. Some little rice burning Honda CRX pulls up behind me and starts mashing his horn. I ignore him. There is plenty of room to pull up to the pump ahead of me. He does so. Some five foot five Spanish dude gets out his car and what does he do? Spits on my car, and walks up to my window.

I honest to goodness did my best to remain calm. It's just a car.

Now, I know look like some old ass man behind my steering wheel, especially when I look down my readers at you. I roll my window down and tell him these exact words...

"My man, I will let this slide. Please get away from my car."

He spits on me.

Now, I can honestly say I am still ridiculously strong. (Still benching over 405 lbs at age 52). I open the door so hard and fast it knocks him into the trash can between pumps. He knocks it over, and falls loses his balance. I'm now out the car, and hulking over him. I grab him by his pants and throw him like 10 feet to the front of his car.

His GIRL gets out the car yelling at me in fuckin some googly Faulty Armor language, and gets right in my face. (well my chest). I tell her to back up and check her man. SHE tries to push me. I grab this dumb bitch by the neck, and was about to toss her, until this woman on the opposite pump says to me, not to waste my time. It's not worth it...etc etc.

I let her go. SHE starts dialing 911. The same woman that stops me, tells her she saw everything, and her and her boyfriend will go to jail if they show up.

All this time the boyfriend is trying to get up off the ground. NO idea why he was still on the ground. I didn't hit him anywhere that would disorient him like that.

Both these clowns got in their car, and speed off. I'm done with my gas. Wave to the lady. Drive off, go home.

Police show up at my door an hour later. I give my mother my ATM card, and proceed to open the door. I'm not looking happy I guess because the cops say to me "Bad day huh?"

Twister. They ask me do I want to file charges. Apparently the gas station called the police, and they got everyone's plates off the cameras. I tell em yep. They say the kid is local, and they will take care of it. That's it.

My blood pressure is thru the roof. I feel like my head is about to explode.

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Better man than most. I would have broken his bones and made sure he had no chance of being conscious for a day or two. You would have been in the right to do more than you did. Hopefully it won't have to happen again.