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That's why I prefer wildlife sanctuaries. The animals in those are incapable of surviving in the wild.

If there is a line at Hair Cuttery, Super Cuts, or Great Clips, I walk to one of the other ones and there usually isnt. But what you are saying is true, they cater more towards women, so I always end up with the same hair cut, so matter who cuts my hair.

So open a shop that's open from 5pm to, say 3am? Do the skilled/unskilled employees do hot towel shaves also, or just hair cuts?

My grandfather has a shop, in which he keeps all his woodworking and carpentry tools, as well as a shed for his lawn maintenance tools. My father has a three car garage, the third car garage being so tight it has almost no use as a garage so it stores bikes, tool chests, shelves for...

This is the goal I usually aim for when I have sex. Which I havent in a number of years now, but I don't drink so going to bars to pick up drunk girls is aawkwaaard

They used to show repeats of Starcade on TV back in the early 00's. Maybe on G4 before they merged with the XBox channel? I was born in 85, but I remember a lot of this stuff from reruns.

It's outside the 1 year warranty, but still inside the 2 years till I got a phone upgrade. So why is there insurance, if it'd cost the same to get a new phone as getting a replacement of my over 1 year old phone? It doesn't make sense, is what I was trying to get across.

According to the radio lawyer commercial, even if you're salaried you may be owed overtime hours in certain circumstances. That aside, Why do I pay insurance on my phone, when the deductible to get a replacement is more than the cost of buying a new phone and extending my plan? My screen died...

I hate how percocet makes me nauseas. I also hate dating websites, but I don't really meet a lot of people in the real world.

How do you know this? He could be a limpdick for all you know, with all his jumping on grenades for people.

Who doesn't know HR Puffnstuff?

Worf, because Khal Drogo got scratched and died of infection?

I just thought he died years ago? RIP In all seriousness though, Giger's art is pretty trippy.

Is it the Theory of Gravity, or the Actual Fact of Gravity? Because if it's just a theory, I'm going to try jumping off the roof tomorrow.

Shaolin KungFu, or Jiu-Jitsu; How does this feel/why would you do this?

5000 people is a very large capacity, must be a huge bar. In Jacksonville, by far it's the I-95 to I-10 split. Last minute lane swappers are the worst.

White WakandanDick? Seems like a weird hacker name to me....

Really? My 5 year old orders like a boss. But I don't let him push a full sized cart by himself, I always walk behind him holding the handle.

Same thing, but at gas station coolers. Edit: All of the soda of my choice being barely cool.

I went into a restaraunt today and asked for rootbeer. The waitress said "It's Pibb, is that okay?", to which I replied No, you have rootbeer. Thankfully she brought me the Barqs Rootbeer, and not Pibb, even though Pibb is awesome. Who confuses rootbeer with Pibb/Dr Pepper?

Like, Country Style Gravy, or like, Turkey Gravy?

Wow. Sorry bro.

I completely agree with Big P here, at 80mph on the highway, I can't hear your loud pipes unless you're in front of me or right next to me. However, this past weekend down off I-4 near Daytona, I saw multiple bikers cut off cars within a foot of their front bumpers. Bikers like that give decent...

At least she still has fat on her face, probably tits too. Those super muscled chicks that are so lean they look like men is gross. That actually looks really good. I don't know about 7 days in a row good though...

Most people consider Wine an aquired taste. I've never liked reds, they taste too much like vinegar to me. I'm also the only person I know who likes VitaCoCo water, everyone who tries it says it's nasty, which to be honest I thought the first time I had it also. Jimmy Rustling which has...

Yeah, 2 sets of 10 reps, I screwed that up.

And they never haul or tow anything, not a single scratch on their bedliner.... Oh, this isn't the rustled thread. Put some CorkSport shifter bushings in my Mazda3, took a lot of the mushiness out of the shifter.

Just capture a Red-eared slider if you're so dead set on a turtle. When you're kid is done with it, just kill it, since it's an invasive species in most places.

So at the gym today, I asked if they did BMI's. They have this little machine you hold and it gives you a somewhat accurate reading, he said it's off my about 3 give or take. I read out at 26.1% body fat, approximately 68 pounds. I weigh 260 right now, with muscle building and fat loss I hope to...

I hate to say it, but Om was the name of the turtle in Small Gods, A'tuin is the turtle who supports the elephants who support discworld. That being said, I think something furry makes a better pet. Ferret, or rats or something if you don't want to maintain a dog or cat.

Thanks, I'll look into that.

My friends wife was diagnosed with ovarian cysts, and they didn't think she would be able to get pregnant, and were very sad. Semen are persistent, that's for sure. Their daughter is 3 now. Oh, make your own Chocolate covered strawberries (not for shipping overseas, obviously, sorry OP)...

Okay, so update for you bros. Down to 259 from 278 since I started my workout regimen around two months ago, and my mostly strict diet around 3 weeks ago. During that two months, I didn't exercise at all for 3 weeks until the Doc cleared me for leg days after my clavicle surgery. I've been told...

Are there enough mexicans in Holland to run the kitchen?

Do distant cousins count? If so, then yes. If you could do any drug, with all the "benefits" and no downside or repercussions, which would you try to see how it affects you/feels?

A horrible porn/masturbation addiction. Like 2-4 times a day. I'm in Masturbators Anonymous now. One step at a time. Or MMO's, but they kind of went hand in hand........ Do you daydream about killing people in various ways, or is that just me?

3 dates that were like, dinner and making out. I saw her more than that, and that was over the course of 2 months and it's my first attempt at a relationship since my divorce. So.. Edit: Thanks for making me feel silly though. It actually helps

I went on like 3 dates with this chick, and unfortunately fell pretty hard for her. Now I think she's back with her ex, and I'm pretty fucking crushed. I've got other options on the dating scene, but no one I really have feelings for like I did this one.

30 seconds is not long enough for me to masturbate to, Fedor. That GIF looks like Willem Dafoe with a mouthpiece in.

Where I live, those are the only aged girls that don't have 1-3 kids, and thats not even a completely true statement. I don't want to date a 28 year old single mother of 3.