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What gets me is pawn shops not being open on Sundays. That's also the only day I'm really hankering for some Chick-Fil-A

If she runs her fingers through your hair, is it still rape?

That depends on how high pot was, and if it was the sole winning ticket. But yes. If you could eat any animal, just to taste it, without any laws or anything inhibiting you, which would you choose?

How old are you that the USA was great while you were alive? It's better than a lot of countries, yeah, but it's been full of a bunch of offense taking pussies for a long time.

Low flow toilets rustle my jimmies. It's like flipping a coin to see if my turd will flush or not.

Pickled Cucumbers, second to that is Pickled Cabbage. Q: If you were a woodchuck, how much wood would you chuck?

The purchase of this DLC allows you to fire your secondary weapon!

Done and done.

The best part is, her right arm is already in a cast, assumed broken.

Maybe at low tide or something.

I saw a van with a QR code while I was a passenger. Tried to scan it, but couldn't get a good enough read on it from the distance we were, thought, well, I'll never find out what they sell. Edit: one of the main bridges in Jacksonville was hit by a ship last week, so now it's going to be...

If we count running shoes as sneaker, then I guess two pairs. I also have a pair of flip flops, a pair of work boots, dress shoes, and a pair of motorcycle boots.

What jet is that in the second to last GIF?

No. I can masturbate to imaginary mermaids. What is your least favorite sexual position?

I was working on a house the other day, changing some tiles, and the dog next door had such a deep bark. Eventually had to go to that side of the house, and saw it was a big German Shepherd, and it just stood with it's head in the fence barking at me. Let's just say I didn't get close enough to...

I screw ratchet hoes. Related image

Fucking "love bugs" man, hate those.

Jelly. What, if anything, are you allergic to?

Last I checked, since the Amish don't use electricity, their buggy won't have turn signals and stop lights. They do have reflectors though, and tend to stay to the side of the road. When driving my work truck in traffic, changing lanes I just slowly ease over into the other lane until someone...

Nah, after I run out of my selected stock, which I got today by the way and are super delicious, I plan on giving up on my sedentary lifestyle and joining a gym and getting in shape. I'll miss you, fat rolls.

I'm not sure if anyone else on these boards is a fan of this particular candy, but I love Mike and Ike's. Recently, they changed their flavor and started making the candies with "Real Fruit Juice" and I just can't stand the new flavor. So I wrote them and complained. They responded back to me...

If you use them properly, and rotate stock, you don't wear out your underwear/socks as quickly?

I would shop at Sweatshop Depot as long as their checkout lines didn't take forever like Wal-Mart.

No idea, my work truck is so god damn loud from it's tires and the sound of wind over the ladder rack/ladders that I have to have my stereo up real high just to hear it.

I think when he said "mates" he meant friends visiting. People who misspell words in online games, when it only saves them 1 keystroke "cum here" "ware to?" "sum over there"

The game is by Funcom, so it might be a bit buggy at launch like Age of Conan, Secret World, Anarchy Online...

Boats are holes in the water to throw money in to, especially if you live in a place you'll have to winterize it. Winterize it in the fall, service it in the spring, use it for a few months, and repeat.

You got SafeTouch where you're at Hoss? I hear their commercials all day long here. It might be a Florida only company though. Fuck that shit man.

Last I checked, he was dating this chick. Also a pornstar.

Thank you Hasto. I'm a ways off from getting a dog, but I would most definitely get mine through a breeder. I do live in Florida, but I've seen plenty of English bulldogs around and they seem to fare okay.

Hasto, you like your Frenchies? I've always been really fond of their look, but I've never really been around one for more than like 10 minutes.

Yes, but only if their terms are badass, like flipping their 'vette on Deadman's Curve. Do you believe in a god, and which one?

Pegasus Cloak. Would you rather have a Rubicite Breastplate, or a Fungi tunic? edit: In real life

I would definitely save my 2 pounds of jelly belly's. If you had to lose your dominant hand, how long do you think it would take you to get back to your current masturbation speed with your offhand?

Google images says Switch AKA Panic! And "My Friend Footfoot" leads to a horrible song by The Shaggs

Who, with a last name of West, would ever name their kid another direction? North West is one of the worst names I've heard.

If we kill all the juggalos, who will cook my burgers, or stock shelves in the supermarket?

I thought it was an Avatar reference? Wheelchair, duffel bag...

What is your deepest most secret sexual fetish?

1. How many times do you take a shit per day?