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Paterno got his leg broken mid game while he was looking the other way

Gary Kubiak, more like Weary Cardiac... right? I'm kinda drunk.

Just gonna do some funslinging. Don't mind me.

I'm weirdly excited for some college ball this year.

Human polls are shit. Computer polls are shit. Man and machine united in their inability to accurately assess relative strengths of college football programs.

Ftfy Fate conspires to make Weeden the Browns starter now and forever. Or at least until he dies of old age 3 years from now.

Michigan State's defense is fucking obnoxious.

Fuck this gay earth. Godspeed Atkins. Hopefully Bernard is fine cause the Bengals are now an offensive team with both the defensive linchpins gone for the year.

Yep. Mercifully drunk. Not much to take away from that game apart from Thursday night football being awful. Everyone injured. Everyone sloppy. Miami's defensive line is the first to apply any interior pressure against the Bengals. They pretty good. Secondary not so much.

Those are the words of a man who knows how to live life.

Morning drunk is best drunk. Went to Ohio State and Cincinnati. I'm a bigger UC fan because I have always loved UC games. Something magical about Nippert stadium, where Cincy has played football since 1901. An ancient battlefield tucked into the heart of 100+ years of progress and a century's...

Hey, it's 4th and goal with time expiring. We've got a back up QB and no NFL receivers. What we're going to do is empty out the backfield. QB sneak? No. They'll see that one a mile away. What we need is a really low percentage play that never works in the best circumstances. Like 8% low. What we...

I think Collinsworth and Gruden made a bet at the beginning of the year to see who could get the most sloshed on air, and this season has been a series of one-upmanship.

You can't flex out Mondays and Thursdays without fucking the schedule in a logistical nightmare. It's also not a conspiracy. It's policy. Sunday night is a marquee game and everyone gets a prime time game at some point. Since there are bad teams, bad teams must necessarily play on Mondays or...

I hate pretty much every city, but New Orleans is fucking amazing.

Indianapolis to St. Louis is one of the worst fucking drives ever. I'd take Kansas over that shit every time. Also Carolina BBQ supremacy.

Matte helmets own.

Nope this train is rolling straight through the bye week and into the soft part of the schedule. Also Tannehill is going to get sacked roughly a billion times. Awww, Vikings don't get the hope of your fans up like that.

Bengals bitches.

If you watch Gabbert play though the measurables do matter, and he'd be a pretty good quarterback if not for the crippling inability to adjust to the NFL game. His biggest concerns in the draft were ability to adjust to a pro offense, pocket awareness, and decision making. He was actually to...

What fucking rose colored glasses are you wearing? How has the play decreased in the NFL? Is it the way better players? The way bigger pool of players? The way better offensive schemes? The way better defensive schemes? The advanced training techniques? Nope shit has gone downhill because of...

This game is fucking hilarious. How can you not laugh every time the Giants D lines up in the 6-2 defense like it's fucking 1932 while Eli throws mostly to no one.

Hoyer had the starter job locked up when his knee exploded.

Kevin Kolb, RIP.

I think chances are slim that the game isn't highly entertaining. There's too much incompetence on the field.

Fuck yeah Bengals. Fuck yeah.

That was a great fucking game. AAC uber alles.

I was yelling at my TV on that touchback. What a bunch of incompetent shitheads these refs are.

I thought Palmer had a pretty decent game all things considered. Arizona's left tackle put on a magnificent display of incompetence the likes of which I have rarely seen. Also their offensive scheme is maybe one of the worst personnel matches I can remember.

Said everyone every year.

Is this what passes for powder blues these days? Back in my day teams wore powder fucking blues. Or I really need to adjust my TV colors.

That's because Carroll is awesome when he's not blaming the Jews for 9/11.

I don't know what to say. Fuck the Patriots, I guess.

Now for the torrential end of days downpour during Brady's final drive.

Haha, I put $10 on the Jags moneyline. Come on you beautiful teal bastards.

I found this for you. I'll have another next week.

God damn, am I glad to be 6 glasses deep in scotch. Fuck this team. But thanks for the win.

Bengals going to give me an aneurysm. Stay in your fucking lanes asshats.

RIP Ole Miss dude.

I like the cut of that guy's jib.