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Yeah I suppose it was foolish to assume he'd stop at semen samples.

Herr Keg von Anhalt has already produced all the pertinent evidence. It's just our peasant amods moving the goalposts on him. First it's "that's bullshit", then it's "show me the ancestry tree", then it's "that's just an chain of ancestors show the documents".... Soon they'll be asking...

Why do they ride Richard Blais' nuts on this show so much when his restaurants always get shit reviews IRL. It diminishes the credibility of the show when you put Blais up there with the David Changs and Thomas Kellers and legit michelin-starred people and play up his cred just because he was...

They don't have a punishment for it, actually. It just takes a couple years to train the little boys in the rigorous "Bacha Bazi" dances before they're supposed to be passed around as negholes for kebab pozloads. But they still take pozloads even as apprentices.

For a good laugh just imagine the spray-tanned LA man-whores in the board-room that greenlit that movie and trailer up: "Hey brah, we should have the director of the Fast and Furious franchise merge the Star Trek franchise for the Gen-Y millenial up-tempo crowd!" "Holy shit, brah we can...

Archduke, we have found a promising candidate for the role of Chief Eunuch. I'll fetch my tools.

But if they stopped doing those things they'd be white people. See: Asians.

Would it be easier if the Archduke promised not to behead you if you fail to produce male heirs?

LOL will smith died in 2007. He got promoted to Colonel first tho.

I don't see how being A FUCKING PRINCESS wouldn't greatly improve those plans.

You make her sound like a perfect fit for the bipolar, syphilitic narcissists that infest european nobility.

Mist could be mother to the Thousand-Year Kegreich!

Well clearly theErzherzog Albrecht Kegkilla von Anheltwill require the services of an Archbishop from the Mormonreich. How salty are the mormons that they weren't around to participate in the crusades? Pretty salty I imagine.

Really? Is genealogy a thing mormons do like buying up all the radio stations because they're prophesied to announce breaking of the seventh seal?

One of the bigger reasons Devlin and Emmerich films after SG and ID weren't as good was because they started switching from David Arnold as the main composer of their soundtracks. So yeah, this might fail for the same reason.... they got Emmerich's bro Harald Kloser (and some dude named...

Yeah I'm not too hyped about it either. I bought tickets for the kids and friends for Thursday but I won't be seeing it till after Christmas myself.

Assassinated by who, though? Germans don't do violence anymore. His cousins are prolly all vegan SJW's that are clearing up that castle for all the unwashed goatfuckers that'll be running trains on them in a few weeks.

I dunno... maybe he does get something. The Prince sued the former East German government for some of his patrimonial lands, but no idea if he won anything. The last duke must've been a Gandhi-tier SJW to be thrown into a concentration camp by both the Nazis and the Communists, though...

It's those imperial roombas buffing those plastic floors to a gleam:

seriously.... here he was in I, Claudius all the way back in 1976---almost FORTY fucking years ago:

As far as movie trailer real estate goes, that's about as prime as a central park brownstone. Blizzard is not fucking around.

There isn't anything but a noble title now. The last duke was theprince's father. He died at the Buchenwald concentration camp. That New York Times article said it was because he kept harassing the Nazis for medical care for his people. Then the Communists kept him there after the war till...

The Prussians stuck to hardcore agnatic primogeniture up until 1918. So keg just has to show a better direct MALE line of descent than anyone else to have the best claim even if he's a pussy-crushing kegslayer from Philly. In fact, Prince Eduard's daughters won't inherit shit unless they...

Turns out Kylo Ren is a Former Marine who volunteered after 9/11 and a pretty awesome guy. He runs a non-profit group of vet actors (a few notable ones) that go around promoting and training theater and the arts to military vets. One could almost forgive him for his part in HBO's Girls...

That's probably an effect of him being on television TOO MUCH. Over the years he must've learned to pull back on the technical chef-y stuff when they'd put him on Good Morning America or TV Network audiences every other day.

It did happen, it was just called "casual sex".

Tuco was supposed to make it real since this morning. I dunno what the delay is. The archduke has done all that was asked from his lordship and amod just has to give him the yellow title befitting his rank: Erzherzog Albrecht Kegkilla von Anhalt We should start a gofundme to secure the...

It's gross for sure but did it WORK? Don't you need a special breed of yeast to actually fart enough to make the bread rise or will my jock itch do?

You're gonna need a personal security team once you've secured the title. We don't want to hear about the tragic assassination of the last Archduke von Anhalt and see Tyen and Trexxy moving into the castle after their baby's DNA test.

LOL theNYT had a articleon how your cousin pretty much just drove up to the land in 1990---just after the Berlin wall fell---and laid claim to the castle and the surrounding farms. Sounds like he pretty much just scammed the tenants for his lands back. You probably ARE related.

What would your title be anyway? He's a prince now but your ancestor was the Margrave of Anhalt, Grand Elector Count and a bunch of other titles earned after smashing filthy saracens and pagan Baltic slavs. That's a lot to live up to.

You have to promise to tell us if you find out you're related.

Oh hey, the kids put together one of those ancestry.com books for the whole family as a christmas gift a couple years ago. It was pretty cool, actually. Unfortunately our only noble relations sided with some Prussian revolutionaries and got kicked out of Germany in the 1850's lol.

whoa whoa WHOA.... this dude is 74 yrs old so we figured his daughters were all 45+ milfs at best. Turns out Kegbro was holding out on us. Here's Princess Julia Felicitas von Anhalt, called "Juschka" after her great-great-grandmother Catherine the Great of Russia: That is serious...

My bad, it'sAlbrechtthe Bear. Albertthe Bear sounds like a gay muppet.

One of the positives is he becomes the Grand Master of theOrder of Albert the Bear, an ancestral Order Militant associated with the Teutonic Knights. Keg can then technically knight anyone he wants into his personal Crusade.

Better reclaim your ancestral lands before migrant rapesquads terraform it into some kinda snowy Durkastan.

She must be a convert.

Cakecuscant:

I think the hope is that Disney applies its legendary institutional discipline on the creative management of the Star Wars franchise kinda like what they're doing with Marvel. But even with Kevin Feige tightly curating the MCU, they're pushing very close to overexposure and audience fatique...