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Your dream wife because you last so long; or your real wife because you woke up and fucked her?

Oven is broke. Cook has to improvise his cooking methods to get dinner cooked. Everyone thinks it's better this way and we keep telling him it's good tonight and asking what he did different. He just keeps muttering it can't be any good because it was cooked wrong and it's shite. Look for...

You guys are idiots. He makes some erudite points. If he learned to dumb down his message you'd probably get it.

It's still "Birds of Prey and all those other words which push Harley's name so far out that it's replaced with an ellipses" in the theaters near me.

I can't wait till she gets pissed at him and it turns violent. Not that I have anything against bezos, but it'll be hilarious to see his face half clawed off.

I dislike you just enough that I'd be willing to buy you an ounce provided you promise to eat it all at once.

Aside from that, the fact that she agreed to being penetrated by a dildo should invalidate her lesbian claim. I hope his lawyer gets up in front of the jury and explains that. Also, I hope the dildo went into the other hole.

It's a thread about a virus and you're upset that it's infected with faggoty shit? I mean, that's like being upset that people are fighting in a thread about fighting, isn't it? Maybe it's worse than I know, I sure as hell haven't read the thread.

LOL. So are you really sloppy with the pour or do you have the wrong strainer for the job?

Not as long as I have a pulse. KC is on the list of teams I root for as long as they're not playing the Cowboys. All for Gravy. Well, mostly for Gravy. They do have a tie to Dallas. My dad was a fan of the Dallas Texans before the Cowboys got here and ran them out of town. Like I said...

Since we're showing our new hats. I needed one at an airport. I saw the 940 hats and thought they sucked.

I WANT THE TRUTH!

Why does he have a W on his bejeweled cummerbund?

Didn't see him say it, but yeah then. Thanks for tagging him.

Where do you get 5-6 years? Did the left hold a meeting and disown all the eco terrorists? We can agree they've stepped it up in the past 5-6 years though.

No they don't. I just had one of mine stolen. They used it to make a payment on paypal, buy a papa john's pizza, and take about 6 lyft rides. I saw that and was like, "Fuck yeah, we have these fuckers dead to rights." I looked up the paypal dude. He had one item listed on ebay with 1...

Is she cute? Stand close to her till she finishes. Offer to spot. When she says she has a boyfriend, tell her you have one too. Once you establish yourself as a gay you can start being catty. Tell her that whatever muscle she's working is already too big. Yeah I know. I wouldn't do any...

And what happens if you stop separating the recycle and treat them both as regular garbage? We pay for a dumpster. The main reason for the dumpster is because I wasnt going to put up with the petty bullshit like you guys are talking about or dealing with taking the cans to the curb and having...

You had auto updates turned on? For God's sake why would anyone do that?

Damn, $225,000 bond for a teacher? She must have a trainwreck of a body or is so rich she only took the teaching job to pick up kids.

What tits?

Bullshit. Being in this section is giving you your sports fix. If you really wanna get off the sauce, you need to ask amod for a permaban from all of these threads.

Good quality product. The kickoffs are nice. I didn't catch all the rules though, why aren't they just driving it out the back of the end zone? Do the kickers not have the leg? Watched the houston roughnecks. I'm surprised they don't go for 3 every PAT. Run n shoot teams are at a bigger...

I don't see it on my TV.

Well that's just ridiculous. There's no such thing as a "pit" "bull". They don't exist. It's a boogeyman made up by animal haters who can only get hard by kicking puppies, but they needed an excuse to put down the puppies who didn't cower properly. Disgusting.

We're about to have a fucking space force (this will be the new 'we put a man on the moon' trope), why are commercials still louder than the fucking program we're watching? Why hasn't anyone invented a speaker where you set a decibel level and it automagically boosts or attenuates the output to...

It's missing "That's not even a pit bull" I suggest swapping it out for "There's no such thing as a pit bull" in the next revision, because surely there's no one dumb enough to believe pits don't exist. We're not talking about Jesus here, where there's some room for doubt. Physical evidence...

I got a Christmas gift that was a gun mag. (a periodical, not an ammunition feeding device). Not a bad gift, it came from a nephew with a shit job and we're not all that close, and it's not a mag I already read. That's not the rustle. I finally get around to reading it, and it's basically...

I do not remember. It must have been extraordinary, because he'd drink any kinda coffee. I've seen him drink coffee that had burnt grounds in the pot. Only thing I can think of is that maybe the coffee maker had just been cleaned and it tasted like vinegar. Or it could be he had a fresh cup...

This reminds me of something my dad did. We were driving down a back road and he said "son you're about to see me do something I never do. Litter". And he rolled down his window and threw a coffee cup out. I laughed. " what do you mean you never do that? What about the banana peel 15 minutes...

In fairness to the anti plastic bag people, they are very light and blow away easily. I sure as hell aint gunna chase a plastic bag around. Unlike heavier pieces of litter, plastic bags don't have the decency to get covered up by grass eventually.

The good strip clubs have always sold them.

I think we can take this as a sign that his time in purgatory has come to an end.

Well shit. Way to let non fans down 49ers. At least the fuckers with 0's didn't win any more.

OK now I need SF to score a TD and go for 2. Preferably miss it, cause that's more money, but even if they make it I can win a smaller pot.

I need one of them to score a FG somehow to win this pool.

It's not really more of a pain, but it's more of a risk for you. They should put the money (or some portion of it) back in your account while they investigate. If they decide it was really you and you just regretted the purchases, then you're fucked because they take the money back right away...

You know what that means everyone. When the game is over, start a thread with the results in the title and tag bubbles in it. "You were mentioned in the thread CHIEFS WON, FUCK YOU WEEB"

What pisses me off about paperless is that the best you can get is an email saying you have a statement ready. Maybe they might include the minimum payment in the email. If you're lucky, they might include the total balance. But that's bullshit because we should be looking at the statement...

What a shock. This is my shocked face.