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Has anybody called this dude's phone yet?

I bought gas station dick pills once by accident. They were called all night long and I thought they were like no doze. 15 minutes later i was driving down the road still fucking tired. So i pulled over to take a piss and *SCHWING*. Took me a while to figure out what had happened. But hey...

They never tried to make me memorize tables, and it's a good thing because it wouldn't have worked. Never could memorize formulas in college either, but I made the top grade because I remembered the simple formulas and could derive everything else I needed. One teacher in particular would...

Holy shit drummers work hard. Maybe they do deserve the pussy they pull. I always thought they were slackers because the Def Leopard guy (Rick Allen) did it one handed.

WTF broken link. I guess it's because I swiped it from a site selling prints.

Except that picture's been shooped. Here's the real one.

Oh shit, he's flipping everyone off. All this time I thought he was fist bumping everyone. What the fuck? Are you a wizzard?

Even if we pretend that's a girls hand, you owe 2 more shots of girls modeling your watches. Real ballers have someone to tell them the time. I hired an Indian guy who was a Dr in his home country. I call him Patek Phillipe.

Hey @Dipshit what's up with the rolex pics? How much longer we gotta wait?

Except that is how it works. He's the chief executive and that is discretionary spending.

Sorry bro, I just don't look like that anymore.

I guess he thought it was the hookers n blow thread.

Look, sometimes people gotta save money on the wedding. Picking a weekday helps you cut costs in 2 ways. First, the venue will be cheaper, and second fewer people will show. Stop fucking whining at people trying to save money. I tried to save money by not hiring a photographer. But it...

What are the other 2 still over 1 mill? Arrow and flash?

The super tranny had a boob job, isn't that good enough? Haven't watched any of this season yet, I'm assuming she's still in it and didn't become a statistic during the break.

This is currently the winning rant with 10 votes.

We had 2 fights in our section tonight. Funniest one was the second one when the cops were escorting them out the girl had her phone in the cops face and was steady mouthing off. I wish I coulda heard what she was saying. I bet it was some sovereign citizen level shit. Eagles are complete trash.

Cowboys nation checking in from jerry world. Fuck the Eagles.

If you're talking about juvaris dying over the BK dude's name, I assume juvarisx had eaten 3 or 4 tegridy burgers by then.

Maybe. But if you look at the video he was talking about in the mist quotes, she was younger. I did some internet stalking for reasons that confuse even me and I see that the other video was posted in 2013 (the college friends video was 2014). Her FB doesn't give her birth date but it says...

I would file a complaint with the EEOC if they shut down the private bathrooms at my job. Since we're talking bathroom stories ... at my first real job, the safety guy once got a biohazzard bag from the medical supply rep. So he put it on the desk of this weird guy .. we'll call him booger...

Going through my companies annual drug abuse training. They might as well just make us watch reefer madness. Some of the scare tactics are downright funny. Also, yall are some miserable fucks. Why am I the only one been getting his pickle tickled recently?

'The teacher started texting him to come to her house on the campus and that's how it started but it got to the stage where he had had enough. 'But the teacher wouldn't let him go and he went to his parents for help and they went to the headmaster and now it is all coming out.' I'm imagining...

you gunna put one of them blue pumpkins up to let everyone know you have allergy friendly treats?

Here ya go. It was a little tricky for me too, but I don't mess around on twitter.

@Brando what did you do to get confined here? I see no active warnings on your profile.

You can't add pictures when you're shawed though? Or is he just too dumb?

Pretty sure the officials themselves are the reason they're not full time already. What you say would be the players union directly opposing the officials. I'm not saying I'm against it, you just seem to be confused on why we are where we are.

That's an archaic name for the river of piss.

I didn't know this. It helps me make up my mind that I'm going to jackoff while watching the show. So far I've just sort of been fondling my balls wondering if I could get there. I need to send her a message letting her know.

You don't know what I'm into. You can't judge me. Also, it's playboy. The articles will be good. I hope I don't realize halfway through that my dad had these and I'd already read them.

Wife went on a business trip. She brought me back some porn. I think she's a keeper. In this case it was some playboys from the 70's that she found in a second hand shop. But still ...

One thing pissing me off today is that sports center keeps showing the td they took away from the Cowboys and just says it was because whatshisname ran a pick. Motherfucker you know good and we'll that was a shitty call you could take another second and clarify it shouldn't have been called.

That's it. I'm going to Dallas next week to fix the Cowboys. Yelling through my TV just ain't cutting it.

Is it not enough for you that she fucked the entire Denver Broncos team?

I'm 2 episodes in and I like it so far. I'm assuming they're not going to keep milking the whole unlicensed pi thing for long. "Oh you scamp, we'll let ya go THIS time but don't do it again" Pretty good job of writing a butch woman role without it being a girl power rally. Dex could be like a...