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Then he* retires instead of serving a suspension. Actually, if this is what happens, I hope Goodell gives him the Hardy / Petersen treatment and puts him on the commissioner's exempt list until the court case is resolved. Then when he loses, he still gets to serve the 4 game suspension.

I wanna hear some of your sports related rituals. The weirder the better. I'll start off by telling my dumbest one. I don't do this anymore, but it started back in the 90's. I had to take a drink every other play or the Cowboys would start having bad plays. As you can imagine, it worked...

It's also not necessary to destroy the content of the texts. Once you delete a conversation, the only copy left is with the NSA. Or possibly on the other person's phone if they didn't delete too.

I like watching these on youtube. I just saw how romy and leon did it. He put the card down behind the chair when he reached for the hardhat.

Should throw a hail mary. Text her back and say, yeah you agree about the chemistry, but does she wanna fuck before moving on.

How many surgeries does he need before it's not gay anymore?

I can see where having a fag enamoured with your wife would make a fella nervous. It might bring up uncomfortable questions.

And in this case, when you say circle, I assume you are referring to the globe. That's what I was thinking. He'll have a triumphant return in a month or two (however long it usually takes for a wrasslin storyline to play out)

Reminds me of when Norm MacDonald did Weekend Update, every year he'd do a joke about some job survey and tell us the worst job in america. "For the 10th year in a row, the worst job in America is .... crack whore". The last year he changed it up. "There's a new worst job in America this year...

Amod, change Azeth's name to Azeth*

It's server side because it manages to keep track on both my home and work computers.

Finally saw it. It was a good show, but as I expected it's on the lower end of the spectrum for marvel movies. I'd put it just above the Hulk movies. Way too much stuff where you had to blame it on a wizzard. I'm disappointed we didn't get an appearance by montage man. Someone refresh my...

Well shit, I've already seen farve's dick today. I guess now I need to go searching for the hulk's.

Great, now I've seen Brett Farve's cock. Thanks Muurloen Obama!

Who doesn't want to fuck twins? I figure that's all that's going on. You can't always jump into bed with both of them at the same time.

Rais, what's your name on that website? Is it sexguidesUSA, or another one?

Some people call sending unwanted dick pics sexual harassment. We call those people NEARLY EVERYONE! Also, I retract my guess that the eagles receiver was the latest white boy to get in trouble. I really can't remember the order all those happened.

And that eagles receiver for being racist. I think he was the latest white guy with the negative spotlight. I think the incognito and farve stuff happened earlier. Anyway, can't believe the Hall of Fame game is like 2 weeks away. Holy shit the season is sneaking up on me.

Why do we have to wait so long when conspiracy idiots like lumie have been making a joke out of it for nearly 14 years?

He was practicing a monologue for a WWE interview.

What, is it still too soon? How the fuck long do we have to wait to make jokes about 9/11?

I just realized she's got the same top and earrings in her FB picture as when Johnny fucked her, but for some reason I don't think it was the same day. Must be her whoorin uniform.

Found these 2 pics.

Pretty girls don't have to be smart. Capri should theoretically be the smartest hooker johnny has saved.

I don't see how it's a problem as long as you still have all your parental rights intact. The only time you need mom's permission would be if you don't have ... well fuck i forgot what it's called. I wanna say primary custody or something like that. Plus, if it comes back as your child...

He only highlighted Amanda, but I saw a Jaime, Kristen, and Nicole on that list too. No Johnnys, Wolfs, or Capris though.

I laughed

Kryptonians may be bringing murderers, but I don't recall any rapists or drugs.

To be clear, under my proposal the 7-8-1 team would still get the division title. They just wouldn't make the playoffs.

I'd even chip in for it. There is literally no way we can lose if he gets the test.

Who's was it? The guy with an arsenal?

You should invest in a border patrol uniform. Should take care of those crying mexican babies at least.

How magical is the lazarus pit? Maybe all they need it some of her blood or the lock of hair ollie keeps in a locket around his neck.

Holy shit, Scrubs predicted Brandon Fraser's death hoax!

Ever since the last time they expanded the playoffs, I've thought there should be a special provision about needing a winning record to qualify. Sort of like what college does with bowl games. So for last year, they could have picked the team with the next best record to take that spot. I'd...

I hope they get a porn star to play xena. I remember the excitement when I learned there was a porn star named lucy lawless, and the disappointment when I finally found her and she was a different person. I want that again, but with an extra dose of excitement instead of the disappointment part.

Go forth and tell it to the masses. Then when it doesn't happen, come back and teach lumi how to admit to everyone that you were wrong.

Tonic will be back as soon as he's done disposing of the bodies.

I heard about that guy, but I'm still looking for pictures. 2000 guns and like 2 tons of ammo or something. I liked how sure the cops were that some of them would be tied to crimes. None of them were illegal, no record on the guy, no foul play in his death, but surely some of these guns will...

Have they ever given a lifetime achievement award to a movie? If not, that should start this year. Don't give it to the man who made it yet, because we want him hungry while he does the next 2.