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A man is walking along the beach and he trips on a magic lamp, he polishes it off and a genie comes out. "I will grant you one wish" says the genie. The man thinks for a while and he says, "You know, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I've been too scared to fly on a plane, and boats...

Damn straight, no sense in it. Even if I have a priority ticket where I can board first, I don't go. One time they started calling for me on the loudspeaker before they'd let anyone else in and I had to go up there and chew them out. They fucking knew I was there because I checked in, and I...

A cowboy, an indian, and a black man are sitting around a campfire. The indian says, "Once, my people were many. Now we are few" The black man says, "yeah, well, once my people wuz few, and now we'ze many" The cowboy looks them both over, then fixes his gaze on the black man and says...

Some racist jokes. I'll post some clean ones later. If anyone has some good white jokes, I'd like to hear them. How long does it take a black woman to shit? 9 months. An out of state hunter walks in to a small diner in Alabama. The waitress seats him and takes his order. She then asked...

Your question sounds fucked up. I think you're asking if a bad result can be justified by other good stuff happening along the way? Of course. Life isn't a destination, it's a journey. I'd say in most of the things we do, the end result is the least important thing that happens. Is...

Don't watch this show, so I don't know if they portrayed it accurately, but that "stickball" sounds like baggataway, which meant little brother of war (in some indian language, I'm not sure which). Children grew up playing the game to prepare for war. In the Iroquois nation, and possibly in...

Unless she specifically tells you to bring cash, pay with a check. If she bitches about it, explain you are afraid her boyfriend was trying to set up a mugging. Then cancel the check on the way home. Is that illegal?

I figured there were thrones allusions in it that I missed.

Yeah, so he was gandalf. I don't see the mystery. It's not difficult if you know how.

Guess i'm a pretty cool guy. I always avoid the diesel pumps if possible. Cause its the act of holding the phone to your head that turns you into a distracted driver, and if not on the phone, everyone has 2 hands on the wheel? Dumbass. Always has been in this context. Could not see the...

i thought he answered that. Didn't he say "its not difficult if you know how"? honestly, I'm not sure why people think he didn't use tools or heavy machinery or help. Because he said he didn't? It's not like tools weren't available, or anyone was watching him build it.

i thought he answered that. Didn't he say "its not difficult if you know how"? honestly, I'm not sure why people think he didn't use tools or heavy machinery or help. Because he said he didn't? It's not like tools weren't available, or anyone was watching him build it.

How long did it take yall to recognize the tones? Took me longer than it should have, but it was an old ass movie, and I didn't like it even when it was new.

FYI, you can get HSV-1 on your genitals, and HSV-2 in your mouth. So calling them oral and genital is misleading. HSV-2 is generally a little more painful, but you can't really make a case that HSV-1 doesn't count. When I was living in sin with my wife, we set up a joint account to pay for...

This got skipped cause salshun is an ass. Alec bladwin. When he's in a show, I never think once about what a salshun he is in real life. I don't know what you mean by "you and the girls". But i'd take the tape. In fact, I got one i could release. Her name isn't blurred, but she's just...

This got skipped cause salshun is an ass. Alec bladwin. When he's in a show, I never think once about what a salshun he is in real life. I don't know what you mean by "you and the girls". But i'd take the tape. In fact, I got one i could release. Her name isn't blurred, but she's just...

I am assuming those aren't his daughters, and they came from central casting. The drawbrigde was all kinds of stupid. No one has mentioned the hinges on the outside. I also thought the winch was way too slow. It must have taken 30 min to get that fucker up.

the herp aint that big of a deal. 1 in 6 seems very low though, maybe that's just diagnosed cases. I thought I read that they estimated 40% of americans have it and don't even know. Most people get it as a child. If you've ever had a cold sore, you have herpes. I saw a study where they...

If you get screwed out of comp time, its your own fault for being a bleeding vagina, TBH.

It would be pretty humorous if she fired you for refusing to work late. You're already doing that work for free by being available after hours, so she's just pmsing at not paying you for it because you don't punch a time clock? If she does fire you, I'd probably have a talk with her boss on...

28 in the first season, but I think she was supposed to be 18 in the show. maybe 19. Definitely not old enough to drink. But hey, at 40 she could have still played a teenager in porn.

nothing like bayou billionaires. I agree that show was pretty sad. "Mailbox Money" pretty well sums up what was wrong with them.

Yes. I might go into withdrawls, but after a few weeks I'd be very happy. What was the best computer operating system of all time?

Not sure what you mean. There was a girl I used to fuck that it always hurt me when i came. And it's weird because it only happened with her, and happened every time (or maybe just every time we did it doggy style). Felt kind of like a spike got jammed in my dick at the moment of release. I...

Damn, she was a 36 year old playing someone who was supposed to be in her early 20's on that show. Didn't realize she was that old.

Never saw the show, just saw a commercial for it, but someone help me out. It's a western right? Where do the wheels come from? I thought the phrase hell on wheels usually referred to motorcycle gangs. Shouldn't it be hell on the hoof?

I thought it was always an hour. Are you sure it used to be 30 min?

Sounds like you need to face the fact that this person is not really a good friend of yours.

They can charge by the pound, as long as I, as a fatass who is paying more, gets more room. The thing that scares me about that concept drawing is that it looks like emergency exits are non-existent.

Then do the same thing you obviously do in your car. Bring a jar. Cause there's no way you're always able to get to a bathroom within a moments notice during the commute.

I would suggest the first one I saw. The one with the bees.

Can't find the raw dog condoms you guys are talking about. If you're not married, these are the best. I dated a couple of girls with latex allergies, so I bought some non latex alternatives. I think they were polythylene and polyurethane. I can't remember which was which, but one of...

Gym I used to go had like 4 of these, all driven from the same belt. I thought it looked cool, and it moved a hell of a lot or air. There was no jockeying to be right under the fan to get a breeze in that gym. I'm sure they helped a lot in keeping the odor and the cooling costs down.

LOL, I was undecided whether I'd want to travel in this thing. Now I do. Gimme some concrete scream tube. I might even be willing to visit cali to do it. Yes, you probably are, but fine. Does Aluminium Scream Tube work for you?

When they first get raped by a family member, is what I've heard. So like 8 or 9.

Latin guys are also a lot more likely to be gay or bi too. Nearly half of them have fucked another dude at least once in their life.

Cause girls don't poop. This was clearly a guy dressed as a girl.

thing that really pisses me off about adobe updates, is that even if you check the box to not remind you about this update, it still fucking reminds you the next time you log in.

Yeah, this show is basically them being paid to do a commercial for their merch.

Neither. A good man had his life turned upside down over a punk who was about to use those things to make some purple drank. How old were you the last time you saw your mom naked?