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I only have one weiner dirk... I assure you

You know what they say. If her face isn't super, wait what? All I want is the pooper.

That's all I go for. Makes scoring way easier.

I was pretty drunk so I can't say for sure how good my timing was. I mean... I wasn't Noodle drunk... but I was pretty drunk

It always is. I actually put up a half-hearted fight (she basically forced herself into my hotel room after the wedding) but the dick wants what the dick wants sometimes.

I suggested it but I can't make her do anything. I was on Long Island at a wedding so I don't live anywhere near her or really know her. Just hoping she's not completely stupid... but she is 21...

I raw dogged a 21 year old who isn't on birth control this weekend. Invariably one of the dumber things I've done in my life and with a girl who is way younger than I've ever let myself be stupid with before. I don't think I've touched a woman who was younger than 25 in the last 5-6 years. I...

He was definitely fucked up from that. But he lived with us for 2 years and when he was on the ritalin it was just eerie, creepy and weird, and for about 2 weeks after coming off of it he was straight out of an 80s horror flick. Then he went back to just being a regular old crack baby kid.

Ritalin is some nasty stuff. My mother and father took in a foster kid when I was younger. A friend of theirs (who was trying to beat drugs and got her kid taken away) son. He was diagnosed with depression and prescribed ritalin. That shit fucked that kid up. He was a zombie. Empty eyes, devoid...

More like "This script is shit and the only way anyone would ever pay to see it is if some hot broad is getting railed somewhere in there"

Take the deal and refinance it yourself (if you have the cash to cover any needed downpayment that is): PenFed - Used Auto Loan

Imagine if Tom Brady thought this way.

Dating does go that way. Some of you guys have been married too long and you've forgotten

Couldn't lettuce cause agitation in someone who has diverticulosis?

Problem is the only dishonesty they can remove in a reasonable time frame is the physical attribute dishonesty, which is easy enough to do yourself by just asking for a new pic when you start texting. When it comes to people's self descriptions they are going to tell a third party the same...

I wouldn't pay for a service that really did exactly what you were asking about because I wouldn't be able to afford it.

The problem is how can they legitimately do what you said (and they claim)? How can you get to know someone enough to be able to match them appropriately without spending the amount of time friends spend together? In order to do that you can't really save anyone time, which is what they claim to...

For some reason I thought this was a series. I didn't realize Netflix was doing movies now.

Yea but how is it saving you time if they are vetting you the same way they vet your matches for you? They are going to do the same thing the cheap/free dating sites do. Ask a bunch of canned questions and then try to use a "scientific matchmaking formula!" to figure out who is the "best match"...

I'd never spend money on a matchmaking service like that. I'm not autistic, some stranger I give money to isn't going to know who's the best match for me better than I do. I can only imagine how desperate the women who use those services are to actually make it worth their while and feel like...

They have services like this. They cost stupid amounts of money. Like this one:It Dating Service Which I think is around $2500 for 6 months.

Just saw a commercial for a site I hadn't heard of before. EliteSingles.com. I checked out the website and it basically sounds like eHarmony with a retarded name.

They only needed to win one game to move on. Lets go fanatic and Origen I guess

I just woke up so didn't see the games. Just checked the outcomes. Did trist/azir make it through any ban phases?

C9 better win the damn tie breaker

There is no pumpkin in any of those things. It's all cinnamon and nutmeg and various other spices.

I haven't had a bowl of cereal in probably 10 years.

Jalapeno Roulette. Make a bunch of jalapeno poppers and inject some of them with carolina reaper sauce.

Haha I did the same thing. Actually I turned it off right after the flash wolves game.

Is your wife a tree?

I'm just jelly. I want a woman who makes more money than I do and wears sexy leia outfits for me.

Definitely the watch list of a unicorn.

I think he was saying that bars are safer than free weights for your shoulders and just happened to mention incline, which is true because when you fail with a bar it just lands on your chest (which is worse for you overall but we're talking about shoulders here) and shoulder damage is mitigated...

I really enjoyed the first week of worlds without any Rivington. They need to drop him as a caster.

Yea I probably shouldn't use sarcasm in the grown up threads. But yes, sarcasm. You knew that though you devil.

Money can't buy love.

Making that kinda money would make it pretty easy to stop working for a while.

That's love bro. True love.