Search results

What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?

Went to Moe's for the first time. It was ok, but I like Chipotle much better.

Little Johnny is walking down the street with a jar of money under his arm and dragging along a dead frog on a string. He walks into a whorehouse and sets the jar of money on the counter. He proclaims to the woman standing behind it "I want to have sex with the dirtiest, nastiest woman you have...

Why don't blind people go skydiving?

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said,"Son, that's three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you."

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

My son is in the hospital because of one little driving mistake.

I don't have sex with my sister because it's gross and unacceptable.

Why did the semen cross the road?

What does a Jewish pedophile say?

I recently discovered that I could get a crispy chicken BLT at Wendy's, so I tried it. It's $1.99 of ok.

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there. You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's...

We've tried all those suggestions already. We think it might be something to do with Windows Update and connecting to our WSUS server. The WSUS server shows they haven't checked in since 2/10/16, even though we manually fire off a check. We noticed the wuau DLL would crash right before the issue...

We've been experiencing an issue on several PC's at work that I have never seen before. After logging on, in 20 minutes or less, no executables can be run. We can run whatever we want until whatever goes wrong initiates. The running apps continue to run, but nothing new will. The executable...

What do you call a fat psychic?

I've tried just about all the streaming sticks and boxes. I got rid of all the sticks. I think they are slow. The boxes have beefier hardware and you can zip around the UI and start streams faster. Laggy UI drives me nuts. This has been my experience with the sticks.

Ate there tonight and this time I wasn't charged the extra $1 for extra bacon.

People who toss their inside pets outside to fend for themselves when their owners move away and leave them behind. Seems to happen all the time. As a pet lover, it breaks me heart. This new instance is doubly tragic. Two streets away from me some dude walks out onto his front lawn and blows...

An old woman switched gynecologists and was extremely embarrassed when the doctor took one look between her legs and said, "That's the biggest pussy I've ever seen - That's the biggest pussy I've ever seen." She started crying and said to him, "You didn't have to say it twice." "I didn't."...

A man goes to the pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms. As he asks for the condoms, he starts smiling. While paying them, he starts to giggle and as he leaves he can't refrain from laughing, leaving behind a bewildered pharmacist. The next day, the same thing happens and again the day after that...

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is." The second hunter says" I don't know...