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At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. "This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops...

Kings Landing

The entire Malazan series of books in Kindle format for $52. Amazon.com: The Malazan Empire (Malazan Book of the Fallen) eBook: Steven Erikson: Kindle Store

I used sunglasses, too. Worked for me.

Never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp, she's probably thick and tired of it.

Ol' Brad just can't catch a fucking break.

Burger King greatly disappointed me today. Their double cheeseburgers used to be pretty beefy with lots of cheese. Today I ordered one and it was like a junior double cheeseburger with one small piece of cheese. Major jimmy rustle.

Not really fast food, but Costco's almond cake is an exact replication of Heaven.

Turtle wang

Tried the Wendy's Thai Chili chicken sandwich. It's not too bad. Very messy to eat. Just a hint of spice. I'd rate it 7.5/10.

She says she had to fuck 30 guys a day, 7 days a week, for 4 years. Human trafficking survivor: I was raped 43,200 - CNN.com

But...but...THEY HAVE THE MEATS!

A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It...

I can confirm the DQ pumpkin pie blizzard is shit. I tried it last year and threw it away.

What's the most sensitive part of a man's body while he is masturbating?

I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend." He said, "Why? Is she...

Install Windows on it via Bootcamp (not being a jerk). It's what I do.

I didn't know this existed. Anyone tried them?

A lot has changed since my girlfriend got pregnant.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

The set pieces and scenery were great. I can't imagine what it took to put that whole Day of the Dead scene together. The blonde girl was ok. Monica is starting to show her age, but she still looks awesome. The scene where the blonde leaves the group was stupid. The train fight was cool. I...

When I grunt while getting out of the car and the pretty girl walking by thinks it was meant for her.

Alrighty then.