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My wife applied it to cracked nipple, I know that much

I don't know, her naked pics were probably just for her boyfriend or whatever. I'm more concerned that she let Apple's cloud manage them for her. Plus, you can't get mad at a chick that takes a pic of herself covered in cum.

Its real. We never needed it but we did get close

Have my first interview in years monday and I'm nervous as fuck. The guy read my resume and I did two phone interviews, but I still got the vibe he wished I had more experience. Just hoping I walk into the interview and the people have actually read my resume and don't ask me retarded questions...

Mist we don't have anything good up here, just standard bullshit fast food

Is the job paying for it? If so, make sure that they don't require you to stay a set time or else face a fee.

Both points on face and body are accurate. I'd do terrible things to her but I'd be ever vigilant of the nearby wasp nest

Fuck pumpkins right in their pompous asses Pumpkin spice doesn't even taste like pumpkin

There are worse things in life than doing nothing for $20 an hour. What's your potential degree in?

Yeah I did that for awhile, but then I really started enjoying my commute even less. Sometimes I just want to listen to music and zone out.

Back the car up dude, I wasn't getting angry about it - I was just saying for the majority of us we gotta listen to the 1 hour work day rant. It's like I drive 2 hours a day for a commute, then another 1 hour to listen to bitching about work. I subtract these numbers from my quality of life goal.

Troll is expressing a desire to die, Mist was outright saying "If you don't do this, I am going to kill myself today" She stopped doing it when I threatened police. If Troll, or anyone, said the same thing I would also call the police. I've had quite a few family members kill themselves...

I did say dress like a whore day, so maybe my ruse is up! My wife's mother is a psycho, I can't even imagine.. I already told her I'd divorce her if she got the short dyke haircut her entire mother's side of the family sports.

Yep it's the way women are. Cad has a special snowflake wife that he fucks on their piles of money while she doesn't say a word about work, the rest of us get to listen to the wife explain office drama to us while we think about ninja turtles or something. I don't mind it I guess, but it is...

I just think about other things when I "listen", like what it corgis were as big as horses

He's biting everything and drooling like crazy so I think it's about to happen, may god have mercy on my soul

Your explanation just voided all the space you saved

I just don't watch her shows. She watches them during the day. I don't watch much TV anyways, so we have a few common shows that fill our time.

With a name like Kum & Go you know the first name was really Cum & Go until some dude stood up and said "wait, wait! WAIT!" and explained it.

Yeah I'm sure it's something like that. I've been putting him to bed for a week now and almost always he just goes down and sleeps through the night.. just last night he decided 'no'

She'll probably end up following me

Are you pushing 7 figures yet or what?

He's talking about a certain MMO company I believe

I always considered it a rep grind, but what I didn't consider was that there was a permanent rep decay. Awesome. Felt good last night to just chill out for a bit by myself after the kid slept. I enjoy my time with my wife, but the last 6 months she's basically been joined to my hip when I...

We had a holy shit CS (computer engineering) god here that went right to Google after his 2 years here, I would assume most of those guys don't stick around long. I look at some of the work he did in his time here and I can't even compete. Stupid question - for interviews suit or no suit...

Last night was totally not awesome. I guess he decided since mom was at work he was gonna be a badass. Went to bed from 9pm-12am then woke up and wouldn't go back to bed until 3am when she got home. I had to get up at 6, so it sufficiently sucked the life out of me. He just was fighting the...

He just went to sleep, not sure how I'm doing but so far the house is not on fire

10 minutes to go oh God

My first thought is if she can eat that much food she can certainly drink/eat a lot of semen

Certainly, but what he was asking was retarded. He also got really butt hurt that I had never used windbg, even though I told him we did real time debugging with hardware emulators instead.

That's awesome. I can confirm that my 5 month old gets scared by me playing death metal on the guitar

The guy really pissed me off. The job description was for some hard drive engineering position and he was asking strange questions about linux and Windows and topics I didn't understand. I can't remember it very clearly, but he was definitely far away from what the job description said - and I...

Tonight's my first night as a solo dad. I can do this bros.

I used to take caffeine pills but I felt weird and sometimes jittery. I mean that happens with energy drinks too, but maybe with it being so compact in a pill it was worse. At least the monster tasted good, I drank it on my 1 hour commute every day. Also Soygen, it's not a super taster thing...

Asking me my favorite sorting algorithm is like when I went on this one interview and a guy asked me to (and I'm quoting here) "write your most impressive linux command." The guy already pissed me off so I wrote "ls -l" with a straight face. Guy was a huge dick the entire interview.

I made the same argument to Sean, people playing little handhelds in public might as well be wearing pokemon backpacks and dragging their waifu pillows behind them.

I drink the white Monster can (well used to, I quit soda and still going strong). It has 0 sugars and 0 carbs, probably some life-shortening ingredients but a bit healthier than normal energy drinks. The taste is a citrusy taste that is tolerable - no cough syrup taste or anything. Also...

I used to drink Monsters for breakfast

This is fucking hilarious haha

What if I just ate? Do I need to wait an hour?