Search results

Every time we decided we wanted another kid we didn't spend any time trying. We just stopped trying not to, and were pregnant within a week. Fucking bonkers.

Dude, that looks so delicious, I'm thinking of pulling the bone, too.

Dad jokes.

Did you know that Amazon sells fake plastic dog poop? I've now ordered some for my son. Shit's gonna be hilarious.

So he's truly your son.

Man. Babies, rectums, poop, and so forth. Parents have to do weird stuff. We're the most evolved form of life, right? Why can't our young walk and poop in a litter box when born? It's interesting to remember this stuff now that my kids are older. If I talk to my teenage girls about poop or...

Making a huge steak and fresh fries dinner with the kids, wife was pissed she's going to miss it. Last night she ate at the fucking Momofuku Noodle Bar. She can suck it. There's going to be hangry sex when she gets home tomorrow. That might make up for the rustle.

I have a coffee roasting station in one of my outbuildings. Of course I HAVE to be with the coffee while it roasts. It has nothing to do with the fact that it gives me roughly 20 minutes completely to myself. I love my kids, but a break every now and then is welcome.

My wife is in New York city and eating at Michelin star restaurants and I'm home with the kids eating pizza. So rustled.

You have to start sucking her dick, I believe.

Yeah, garlic too. Forgot to list it.

All of the income from my wife and me gets dumped in to one account. Then, there are automatic withdrawals to accounts for me and her and the kids (see earlier when I talked about allowances). The money that goes to separate accounts for wifey and me is small, $200 a month, and it is intended to...

That exhaust is bloody ridiculous.

Oh, has he stopped? I can take him off ignore?

Damn. I wanna date him. He'd get lucky on the first date.

I have one with basil and lime, and one with basil and cucumber. Will probably try both. My wife and daughters are wild for all things cucumber flavoured, they even like the cucumber gatorade. The men in the family have a finer palate.

That has been my issue every year, so this year I made space for 25 basil plants. Whatever is left at the end of the season will make pesto. So far, it's keeping up with demand. I also just saw a recipe for basil sorbet. I'm dubious, but might try it.

Today I had breakfast at McDonalds. Steak and egg bagle. It's a tasty thing.

I'm growing a metric fuck-tonne of roma tomatoes this summer. We are eating a lot of bruschetta. Super easy, take the tomatoes, cube them in little pieces, add salt and pepper (not too much salt), chop up a LOT of basil from the garden, use the microplaner and shred a butt-load of Parmesan into...

I anticipate accuracy in McCheese's anticipation.

SJW all up in here sayin' ms. is better. It's just politics, man.

Dude, looks great! Nice job keeping stain off the runners. Quality work there.

Go turn the gas off. Shouldn't be hard.

You realise no one here, not one single person, wants you to do this, right? Are you so fucking stupid you can't realise that? And if you do realise that, are you so fucking stupid as to continue doing it? Seriously. Go the fuck away from this thread. Honestly, you have a thread for that shit...

You have to roast your own. Getting a dark roast on the green beans we get makes such a delicious cup o coffee, I'm not sure I could ever go back to buying pre-roasted coffee.

Dude, you have your own thread for that shit. Please go there.

You should see how he shreds those licks with his dick, man.

The Samsung HVAC ductless sort of thing are the way to go if you can swing it. They are not cheap, but you can easily do an 1,100 square foot apartment with a single condenser. You could probably do it for less than a thousand dollars, and then you have true thermostat control and the air...

I have a friend who claims this has changed his life. He is, as it turns out, a human who poops from his butt.

Yeah, but do you look at those filthy drive-through menus with bare eyes? That's fucking disgusting, man. Do you know how many other people have looked at those signs? Eye bleach is the only answer here.

This is so much part of what my wife and I want for our kids. Yeah, we work them hard, but they have their free time and friends and electronics and so forth. When my kids leave home (they all seem university bound with one possible trade school), they are going to know how to cook, do laundry...

I like the dark stain. With light walls and good lighting (which you seem to have), I think you can get away with it.

Get a good dust-buster sized vacuum, have her vacuum the cars out and remove trash from the vehicles each week. We started there. There are also tasks that won't actually get you anything, but will give her duties each week - have her wash windows. They's look terrible, but she'll have something...

Dude, make it 20$ a month instead of a 100$. Do whatever works for you guys. This started with the idea from my kids' classroom. They had a teacher who did a classroom thing with monopoly money. Kids had to pay rent for desks, and they had a whole structure like that. We developed it for at...

Half the money comes back immediately, half of the remaining goes into savings for college. Yeah, the initial outlay may feel big, it works out to be pretty good for everyone, including us providing the money. We're going to give the kids spending money anyway, and we're going to be saving for...

Five kids, $100 per kid. Doesn't sound like 2 grand a month.