Bidets, and why you should buy them

Kiroy

Kiroy

Marine Biologist
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Frenzied Wombat said:
1) No more underwear skids
.
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I've never in my life had skids, but I recognize it as a real problem. When I was in boot camp when we got our laundry back it would get dumped in this huge pile in the middle of the barracks and we'd all grab pieces, look at the stenciled name and put it on the owners beds, teamwork like. Seemed like 40% of the undies we're just completely fucking blown out, like these dudes we're all but shitting their pants. Wonder if people just never realized how to wipe thoroughly? Was an eye opener. People be nasty.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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Kiroy said:
I've never in my life had skids, but I recognize it as a real problem. When I was in boot camp when we got our laundry back it would get dumped in this huge pile in the middle of the barracks and we'd all grab pieces, look at the stenciled name and put it on the owners beds, teamwork like. Seemed like 40% of the undies we're just completely fucking blown out, like these dudes we're all but shitting their pants. Wonder if people just never realized how to wipe thoroughly? Was an eye opener. People be nasty.
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It's practically unavoidable if you have a hairy ass crack and don't shave it. If you're the hairy asshole type, bidets are doubly valuable.
 
Gravel

Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Jysin said:
Been contracting and living in the Middle East for a while now. As much flak as we give these desert cavemen for their sheer ignorance in most things, I will say they do appreciate clean undercarriages! You won't find a single public restroom without one. I wouldn't even consider what you guys linked as "bidet". That's really just an ass sprayer hose. We have actual standalone bidets in all 3 bathrooms of my house.

The actual toilet itself has a built in stream aimed at the butthole. There's a large knob on the side of the toilet to control flow / pressure. Then, next to the toilet is an actual standalone bidet for doing all kinds of cleaning up. Hell, I use that thing all the damn time. It's amazing for a quick wash down post-sex. It's also great in the summer heat when you have built up a case of swamp ass. Hop on the bidet and get a cool refreshing wash down front and back.

Standalone bidet looks like:

View attachment 121781


I will never own a home without one!
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I don't understand how bidets like that work. We had one in the palace I lived in in Iraq, and it just looked like it'd be disgusting to share with another person.

Do you straddle the bowl and bend over? Like, how the fuck does that thing clean your ass? Or is it a "use your hand" kind of operation?
 
Jysin

Jysin

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Gravel said:
I don't understand how bidets like that work. We had one in the palace I lived in in Iraq, and it just looked like it'd be disgusting to share with another person.

Do you straddle the bowl and bend over? Like, how the fuck does that thing clean your ass? Or is it a "use your hand" kind of operation?
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You just sit down and blast away on your asshole. The standalone bidets are really only found in homes. You're not sharing those things with strangers.

It's 10x more cleanly than using a piece of paper to smear shit across the skin of your taint / asscrack.
 
Gravel

Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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I'm just looking at your picture, and that faucet looks like it'd hit your lower back, not your ass. I guess I was hoping for an MS Paint.
 
Zaara

Zaara

I'm With HER ♀
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Gravel said:
I'm just looking at your picture, and that faucet looks like it'd hit your lower back, not your ass. I guess I was hoping for an MS Paint.
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On the old models there's a spigot inside the bowl that points upwards and shoots the water at your butthole, the faucet is its own/separate thing. I don't understand how that bidet works either, unless you're having to do a ninety-degree bent over presentation.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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Here's what the Toto looks like. When activated the retractable sprayer extends and blasts your anus.

140401_TECH_TotoToilet_3.jpg.CROP.original-original.jpg
 
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