Breaking the Spirit of a Willful Child...

Shonuff

Shonuff

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hodj said:
That is something you should nurture, not crush.
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I would not nurture a kid to be so defiant that he's ignoring his teacher, is threatened to go to the Principal's office, defies the teacher anyway and then goes to the Principal's Office and ignores the Principal. This is completely unacceptable behavior.

You have to be trolling at this point.
 
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Tuco

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hodj said:
My 400 pound mother sat on my chest and beat me daily to make me "Respect authority" from the age of 8 to the age of 14 when I got big enough to kick her ass.

Didn't work out very well for her.

Won't work out well for you either.

Respect and fear are different things.

Fear is the mind killer. Your fear is killing your mind.

Meanwhile I've got two kids, 13 and 16, who are functioning members of society who don't battle my authority constantly because I taught them that respect is a two way street, and that authority isn't something to rebel against, but something to work in unity with.

Your mindset is that of a tyrant. You'll get what all tyrants get in the end as a result: The noose after a rebellion.
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What thickness of rope did you use?
 
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Shonuff

Shonuff

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Mur said:
He's a boy in a school system that has been re-designed from the ground up to ignore the needs of boys, to instead focus on the needs of girls. How much recess does he get? How many chances to get a bloody nose, or dirty clothes, or wrestle to figure out pecking order? Boys need all of that to function well, they need to be able to challenge, and learn about losing, and striving to overcome. Boys don't need gold stars, or rainbows, or any of the other rewards many little girls live for.

You want him to behave, he needs to be worn out. Do you spend time rough housing with him? Playing football, tossing a ball, wrestling on the lawn? If not please get him into a program that will challenge him physically. His mind will follow. Jiu jitsu has done wonders for my buddies shy little brat. He is now an animal on the mat, has a ton of friends, and has learned discipline, respect, and most importantly, how to deal with losing in a mature way. (And he is now an A student who listens to his teachers.) Get him into weight lifting, no six is not too young, just make sure he isn't pushing any limits. Swimming is another great one. Get that boy exhausted daily. Then love on him. MY dad was a hard ass, but when he hugged me, man I was on cloud nine; that love goes a long way.
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I'm thinking of enrolling him in Krav Maga, just like my daughter is. The only problem you have in today's "dojoes" is that they are no longer an actual dojo, but closer to MMA studios. That's what is selling. Even instructors that have no clue about MMA have changed it up to be closer to what is more marketable. Hell, the Kenpo studio I trained at deleted all of the forms, and through an octagon right smack dab in the middle of the dojo. They were traditional Kenpo for over 30 years. But people weren't signing up for that. I don't know how much time they spend talking to them any more. It's all about beating down your opponent any more, but none of the age old wisdom.

I'm considering it though, and will discuss it with my daughter's instructor.
 
Blazin

Blazin

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My son (2nd child) now 13 was extremely similar to your story from K-3rd grade. We had numerous calls to the school, meetings with teachers, principal's office. Was just refusing to participate, there was one day in particular they felt he was in crisis and they called me in and had me with the schools behavioral expert who gave me her theory on what was happening and it all felt completely absurd to the child I knew.

Went home and asked my son what had happened, well turns out he took a giant shit and clogged the toilet and was so embarrassed he didn't know how to tell the teacher and was afraid he was going to get in trouble. Don't let the school system fuck up your kid, know your children spend time with them everyday and make the best choices for them. You'll make mistakes just like the rest of us, but nobody will be better suited to know how to care for a child's needs than a parent who is actively engaged and cares for their kids.

If he is a smart kid always discuss choices as him having the power over his behavior. he controls what happens via his choices not others controlling him. I always try to keep the goal of raising children who will seek to make good choices of their own will, not feel their actions are being forced by my or others authority.
 
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hodj

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Shonuff said:
I would not nurture a kid to be so defiant that he's ignoring his teacher, is threatened to go to the Principal's office, defies the teacher anyway and then goes to the Principal's Office and ignores the Principal. This is completely unacceptable behavior.

You have to be trolling at this point.
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The only trolling has to be on your part to be this fucking tone deaf.

From the sound of it, you aren't nurturing your child at all, you're abusing him, hence why he is having issues.

Boys do not do well in school early on. They have too much energy to sit still all day. How this fact has escaped you, yet you're old enough to be married and reproduce I'll never comprehend. BOYS ARE MADE TO BE OUT RUNNING AROUND AND PLAYING AND ENGAGING IN THE WORLD DIRECTLY. That's how they operate. Its bred into their fucking bones.

Seek counseling. Please for the love of fuck seek real counseling.
 
hodj

hodj

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Shonuff said:
That's how absurd his arguing has been. He killed his mother over it, apparently. How does he get wi-fi in prison?
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Right. You're on the edge of beating your son into a coma over him getting sent to the principle's office once, but I'm the one arguing absurdly by pointing out that boys are high energy and don't want to sit still in a classroom all day at 6 years old and this is perfectly normal behavior.

Again: Seek counseling. Your entire worldview is fucking warped.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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hodj said:
Boys do not do well in school early on.
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This is bullshit, just like every other stereotype, stop using it as an excuse. I was top of the class every fucking year throughout school, starting at the bottom. I knew how to read before I went to kindergarten and I was playing chess in first grade.

It was stressed upon me that failure is not acceptable. Acting out is not acceptable. Disrespecting authority is not acceptable. I'm not sure why you're conflating these issues and turning it into something it's not.

Yeah, I was raised in a much different household in a different time, a time when children were to be seen and not heard. But that absolutely does not mean that anyone is out of line for thinking their kid should respect the authority of people at school.
 
hodj

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Most of you really have no fucking clue what my wife and I came from, or how our lives are. We have been through the shit in ways you'll never comprehend. We raised our children to be responsible adults. We treated them like adults. And now they're moving into adulthood and they are stable as fuck and strong of character and never do anything worth getting upset with them over.

When you can say you are still with your high school sweetheart at almost 40 with two kids born at 21 and 23 who are perfectly behaved responsible good grades students, and did that coming from extreme poverty and abusive households and on less than $50k a year, let me know. Because until then, you ain't got shit on me and her.

Cutlery said:
This is bullshit, just like every other stereotype, stop using it as an excuse. I was top of the class every fucking year throughout school, starting at the bottom. I knew how to read before I went to kindergarten and I was playing chess in first grade.

It was stressed upon me that failure is not acceptable. Acting out is not acceptable. Disrespecting authority is not acceptable. I'm not sure why you're conflating these issues and turning it into something it's not.

Yeah, I was raised in a much different household in a different time, a time when children were to be seen and not heard. But that absolutely does not mean that anyone is out of line for thinking their kid should respect the authority of people at school.
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Meanwhile you can ask any psychotherapist on the planet and they will tell you that young boys who have trouble in school do so because they're too smart, and too active, to sit still all day in class and that the system as it exists does not compensate for this reality.

The stereotype here is that one size fits all solutions to childhood behavioral issues exist, and that boys should or can be as submissive as girls. On average, they are not. The system expects children to sit still for 6 to 8 hours a day, with maybe a half hour to 50 minutes of physical activity mixed in somewhere on some days but not all.

That shit does not work. It is a problem with lowest common denominator education. The smart, active kids suffer so the stupid docile ones can excel.

Tuco said:
I did not!
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Then you forgot it because I stated it straight out in the very first post I ever made in this community.
 
Shonuff

Shonuff

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hodj said:
Right. You're on the edge of beating your son into a coma over him getting sent to the principle's office once, but I'm the one arguing absurdly by pointing out that boys are high energy and don't want to sit still in a classroom all day at 6 years old and this is perfectly normal behavior.

Again: Seek counseling. Your entire worldview is fucking warped.
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Just stop. No one has touched him physically. You are trying way too hard.

This is supposed to be the growns up forum. Pretty much everyone in here has given good advice but you.

You can keep saying stupid shit, but I don't give a fuck.
 
hodj

hodj

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Uh huh.

20 years married. 16 year old and 13 year old. More experience than the vast majority of you, who are only shitting out babies now in your mid 30s and later.

Most of you will be divorced by the time your kids hit 10 years of age. You got nothing but your own arrogance on display here son.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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hodj said:
Uh huh.

20 years married. 16 year old and 13 year old. More experience than the vast majority of you, who are only shitting out babies now in your mid 30s and later.

Most of you will be divorced by the time your kids hit 10 years of age. You got nothing but your own arrogance on display here son.
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18 years married, 16 and a 6 year old. Is my opinion legitimate now or is it still only yours?
 
hodj

hodj

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Cutlery said:
18 years married, 16 and a 6 year old. Is my opinion legitimate now or is it still only yours?
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Your opinion that children should be seen and not heard is one of the most damaging, dehumanizing and delegitimizing opinions out there.

It teaches children that their feelings are without merit or worth.

It is the source of endless hours of psychotherapy in their adulthoods.
 
Blazin

Blazin

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We need a thread to upload our marriage certificates, inheritance size and child GPA's to sort this out. People so hostile today in my safe space!
 
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TomServo

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hodj said:
Most of you really have no fucking clue what my wife and I came from, or how our lives are. We have been through the shit in ways you'll never comprehend. We raised our children to be responsible adults. We treated them like adults. And now they're moving into adulthood and they are stable as fuck and strong of character and never do anything worth getting upset with them over.

When you can say you are still with your high school sweetheart at almost 40 with two kids born at 21 and 23 who are perfectly behaved responsible good grades students, and did that coming from extreme poverty and abusive households and on less than $50k a year, let me know. Because until then, you ain't got shit on me and her.



Meanwhile you can ask any psychotherapist on the planet and they will tell you that young boys who have trouble in school do so because they're too smart, and too active, to sit still all day in class and that the system as it exists does not compensate for this reality.

The stereotype here is that one size fits all solutions to childhood behavioral issues exist, and that boys should or can be as submissive as girls. On average, they are not. The system expects children to sit still for 6 to 8 hours a day, with maybe a half hour to 50 minutes of physical activity mixed in somewhere on some days but not all.

That shit does not work. It is a problem with lowest common denominator education. The smart, active kids suffer so the stupid docile ones can excel.



Then you forgot it because I stated it straight out in the very first post I ever made in this community.
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Not trolling but dude are you triggered or something? Your unsolicited graphic stories about your Gilbert Grape upbringing and sperging out with claims of beating people unconscious is fucking rediculous.
 
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