Breaking the Spirit of a Willful Child...

Rules don't always make sense to a kid with a limited attention span or the experience to think things through. Finding a way to explain it so that he gets it might be a truly tough challenge. You say he is shy, but now is acting out and doesn't know when to stop. He is putting on a mask to protect himself, but he doesn't know why he is doing it, or how to take it off.

You can't just tell him, you have to show him. The little fuckers are smart, but they ape quite a lot of what they see done until it becomes a habit. And they are always watching and listening, always.

I will bet you anything he is jealous of his sister and pushes her either physically or emotionally a lot to get attention, because even negative attention is better than no attention.

Give him some attention, the yardwork idea is a good one, but do it with him, show him what to do and not to do, teach him about tools and why things are the way they are. Why the playtime rules are the way they are. Use examples of the kids he talks about, because those are the ones he admires, or fears. Hell if he has gaming knowledge make him achievement badges (that he helps make to give them value) and hang on a board.

Don't break his willful spirit, guide it, make it grow. And if that doesn't work, gets some boxing gloves and beat his ass a few times past when he wants to stop and use that as an example. Horrible idea I know, but it worked for me. Of course it was my Mom that threw me around under the guise of teaching me to fight. (Dad was out of town) But I never came home again complaining about people harassing me.

Soygen said:

2nd children are the worst, I hear. I was a 2nd child and my mom seems to agree with that theory. Good luck!

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Can confirm. My little brother is awful. Just fucking awful.



Nah. He's ok. Still though, just the worst.

Shonuff said:

So child #2 continues to be the direct opposite of #1. #1 gets straight A's (OK, a B in math) and has never had a disciplinary problem in her life. The boy, while he gets good scores in first grade, is showing a capacity to not listen to his teachers. I've been called into the Principal's office on this one. He doesn't like to be corrected, even when learning something new. He had a substitute teacher come in, and he didn't like her correcting him, so he refused to do his work. I go to the Principal's office, and he's ignoring the Principal.

I'm at my wit's end. I took away his video games last time for two weeks. He hated that. He's on punishment again. I got an email from the teacher stating that he's doing his work, but when his friends start cutting up in class, he cuts up with them.

I don't want him to grow up to be a loser. Maybe we are being too soft on him because he's the baby? I'm further concerned because he'll inherit a great deal of assets, and the last thing the world needs is another spoiled rich kid.

I need to nip this in the bud now, but don't know how. Nobody gave me an owner's manual with this thing.

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What you're describing is exactly what I did to my parents growing up. Have you had them give him an IQ test yet? He might be really smart and is bored to death with everything that he does, so he acts out. And being that things naturally come easy, he never has to really try to get the answer. As a result, anything that actually REQUIRES him to try, is quickly given up on.

I'm 100% guilty of that, and I wish I wasn't. I really wish I didn't give up so easily when I was young. I've learned the lesson now that I'm older, but I believe the damage has already been done.

Let you son experience the world, take him places and expand his horizons. Go do stuff that is not in the regular routine and put him to work. There is alot of good stuff in this thread already so I think you will be ok.

Shonuff said:

Worst advice ever. The last thing that we need in this world is another Black teen that is disrespectful to authority. Traffic stops are already bad enough! When he's sitting there in the Principal's office covering his ears and ignoring her, that has me beyond concerned.

And I've already said it, I'm not going to raise any fucking losers. I'd be worried that if/when he wants to work in the business, that he would abuse employees. I'm not just talking about respect for authority, but respecting those who you are over. It goes both ways.

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It's important to take it seriously, but there's a line you can cross where you are overreacting. He's only 6, it's a little early to be evaluating his management style.

Have you considered selling him to a band of gypsies?