Chicago

Tarrant

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My first experience in Chicago was I was back in 1999, I was stuck in traffic and I was watching a guy trying to get into what I thought was his house. Finally someone came out the front door with a baseball bat and chased him away.

While I know that is not an accurate representation of the city itself ( I loved my time there) I'll never forget that and how hard we were all laughing.
 

Eomer

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Fun little town Chicago is. Good times were had by all. Everyone agreed it was the best Brovember yet (previous locations were San Diego and Phoenix). As it turns out I had our condo misplaced, we were staying at The Streeter, so right in Streeterville. Pretty sweet place actually, and also very reasonable for 6 guys. Sure we had to double bunk, but they were kings. Close walking/stumbling difference to just about everything. And boy did we do a lot of walking. I think we took a cab maybe once or twice, I don't quite recall. Bus once to get to the United Centre.

First night on Thursday we hit Timothy O'Toole's since it was nice and close. Food was good for pub food, and beer was awesome. I love me some massive beer selections. After that we hit up the Pink Monkey, who were kind enough to pick us up in their limo (which we then saw about half a dozen other times throughout the weekend. "Shit guys, I think it's following us!"). The talent there was indeed extremely good, however the house rules were bullshit in terms of what you could do in the private rooms. Or so I was told, I didn't get a lap dance because they were fucking ridiculously expensive, like $200 for 10-15 minutes or something. Fuck that. I did buy one for another dude because he needed one, even a shitty one. On the other hand, you can bring your own booze and the chasers weren't all that outrageous, and we drank two bottles of grey goose, a bottle of Jager, and also had a couple bottles of cheap champagne for the ho's (we're good like that) so we saved a ton of money on booze I guess. But the next day everyone had a pretty poor taste in their mouth about how expensive the lappers were and it was decided that we wouldn't go back.

Friday we wandered around, did some shopping (seriously, clothes are like half the price in the US, it's ridiculous), and hit up Giordano's for lunch. I know some people said don't go there, but the rest of the group had their hearts set on it. I thought it was pretty good, I got a meat lovers type one and enjoyed it well enough, although I'd eaten breakfast not long before so I didn't have as much room in the tummy as I'd have liked. A few of the other guys at that point headed back to the condo while three of us decided that if we didn't just get back on the alcoholism horse, we'd probably be down for the night pretty soon. So first we went to the House of Blues, which was closed for a private function, but the dude in there told us to go check out a bar called Snicker's that had hot bartenders. So off we went. He wasn't lying. It was just a small hole in the wall bar, and there was only two bartenders on at a time, but both sets were fucking gorgeous polish princesses (shift changed while we were there). We then proceeded to down about 10 vodka Redbulls each in an effort to chase our hangovers away. That seemed to work for the other two dudes, as they started to get pretty drunk. For me, I just felt shittier and shittier, and the booze was broken.

After that we went to Zed451 to meet up with the rest of the crew. That was pretty damn good. I don't think it was heads and shoulders of the Brazilian steakhouses we've been to in San Diego or Phoenix, but it was the best so far. Salad bar was smaller than the others, but had some pretty unique things, and the meat course was phenomenal. Unfortunately my Giordano's was still sitting fairly heavy, so I probably didn't get my money's worth, but as I type this I'm salivating. After dinner the group headed back to Snicker's to oogle the bartenders. I ducked out to head back to the condo and call it a night like a pussy. The rest of the group apparently had a great night, as they stayed at Snicker's for awhile, then headed to Buddy Guy's for some blues music, and then a bar across the street. One dude rolled back in to the condo at 9am the next day with a box of gourmet doughnuts, saying that he came to while walking down Michigan Avenue, and he was pretty sure he was drinking Miller Lite with homeless people at some point. Thankfully he didn't get stabbed.

Saturday was a pretty mellow day, everyone was pretty tuckered out from the long night, except for me. A few of us did some shopping and sightseeing. That night we went to Gene and Georgetti based on someone's friend's recommendation. The steak was pretty damn good. I was a little pissed we had to wait 45 minutes when we had a reservation, but I guess that's how the place rolls. We went back to our condo to await the arrival of the night's entertainment:SweetSeductionChicago.com | 2 Girl Show

Good times were had. We ended up with 11 guys as a few other randoms that were in town joined us, so we had actually ordered 4 strippers. Something got screwed up and only a third came, and apparently the first two hated her for whatever reason and booked it after their show, leaving the third girl behind. Dirtiest stripper ever. DPing and ATMing herself with dildos, all that good stuff. At one point she's like "let's play anal ring toss!" and me and the guy getting married sat on the couch while she took various positions with a glow stick popping out of her ass and we tried throwing rings on it. How awesome is that you might ask? Pretty awesome, I will tell you.

Sunday we hit up the Bears game, but were too hungover to make it in time to tailgate at all. All six of us were wearing Oilers jerseys and had some good shit talking going on with the locals, but all in good natured fun. After that we rolled out towards the United Centre, looking for a place to grab a beer and dinner before the game. Naturally every place nearby was pretty much packed, so we ended up at the Billy Goat Tavern. As we were walking in the door a guy coming out said "Oh nice, I'm on your side guys, but you're going to get your asses kicked in there!" When we walked through the door pretty much the entire place went silent, turned to look at us, and booed. It was hilarious. After the game we just headed back to the condo and ordered in Chinese because we were too hungover to attempt anything else. Monday we just did a bit more shopping before flying out.

All in all, fun times. Definitely will go back for an actual trip to see the sights etc, as we really didn't do any of that. The planetarium looked awesome, so did a couple of the museums.
 

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO
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Shoulda called, bro. I would have stopped by.
 

Barab

Silver Knight of the Realm
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Did the Sweat Seduction strippers have a huge steroided out body guard dude with no neck and arms as big as my torso ?
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Nah, just a little black dude. Or maybe he was hispanic, he was fairly pale. Good enough dude. I think he mentioned he used to be an amateur boxer or some shit, but who knows.

Araysar_sl said:
Shoulda called, bro. I would have stopped by.
Yeah, everything was kind of game time decisions, not much was planned out. Plus I've never really been comfortable introducing a stranger to my friends from the internet. I dunno, it weirds me out. No offense bro!
 

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO
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Its acceptable these days to meet people from the internet. This isn't 1995
 

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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Fun little town Chicago is.
We need more trip reports in this forum. Everyone posts asking questions before they go but then they don't pay it off with what they did and whether they liked it when they get back.

Giordano's and a Brazilian steak house in one day. That is some heady stuff. My compliments to your stomach.