Coffee Thread

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Xeldar

Silver Squire
1,546
133
I roast my own raw beans. I have a coffee pot, french press and espresso maker. Coffee pot for weekdays, french press for 2nd pot and/or weekends. Espresso maker when I'm bored.
 

Lanx

Oye Ve
<Prior Amod>
60,083
131,392
Lol. I'm an unrefined coffee drinker admittedly. The last time someone tried to turn me on to fancy stuff I just couldn't tell the difference. All I know is that I like a strong, clean espresso flavor paired with the texture of the milk. The coffee stand cappuccino always tastes to weak to me.
OK, i'm just going to lay it out there so that there will be no more excuses on obtaining dank coffee.

For under $50 i'll show you how and why to make probably the best cup of joe you'll ever have, and keep on making it.
  • Water - use only bottled or filtered water (do no use distilled water), water is 99% what you're drinking also water carries whatever dankness w/ it, you have to start clean and fresh.
  • Kettle - water electric, this is basic shit, or put water in a pan for christs sake
  • Beans - cafe don city roast you want whole beans, coffee lasts maybe at most 15m when ground up, so grind your coffee when you're to drink
  • Grinder - cheap 9$ blade grinder The cheapest 9$ shitty blade grinder will do a decent enough job, just shake it up as you're grinding, it's not ideal and i would rather you spend the 10bucks on a one of these good manual grinders instead manual burr grinder (we can talk about other options later)
  • brew method - Aeropress $30 the best most consistent method is going to be the aeropress, with the combination of heat and pressure it's basically a fool proof espresso shot.

Here, now i'll take you through the method, how and why stuff is done, trust me, this should take 2minutes to make a fresh cup of coffee (the time it takes to boil water).

1. boil the water
2. assemble your aeropress, with a new filter.
3. measure out your beans and grind (you get a measure spoon with aeropress, just follows those instructions)
4. dump grounded beans into your aeropress
5. when water is boiled, wait/count 10/15 seconds to let it cool to 205f
6. pour water into aeropress, put plunger on and press down
7. coffe made, drink

2 minutes and spend $50bucks you'll get the best cup of coffee you'll have, you can use this to compare to all the other crap you'll be getting.

i'll now explain the hows and whys

1. water boils at 212f, just remember that
2. the aeropress is a filter'd brewer that uses the heat from the water and pressure to extract the beans w/ low acidity
3. beans go dank the minute they are ground, you have 15minutes before they become useless after you grind them, you don't need to have the best grinder, just one that can do uniform sizes, so while the $10 blade grinder is not ideal, it would be best to buy one of the manual grinders and use a bit of elbow grease to grind a few beans.
4. self explanatory
5. the best temp to extract coffee is 195f to 205f, so counting 10/15s after water is boiled is usually enough to bring it down to 205f
6. self explanatory
7. self explanatory

Of course you can spend more, that of course costs more $, and maybe even more time spent learning, but this will be the best cup of black coffee you'll have, go ahead and add some cream and sugar if you want to be a bitch, it'll taste even better with great coffee. If anyone wants me to expand on this, surely just ask.
 
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LiquidDeath

Magnus Deadlift the Fucktiger
4,831
11,118
The fucking coffee spells favorite with the inferior "u" making it worse than Folgers.

Edit: Stop making me feel like I'm in Canada.

It's Italian motherfucker, they do it up right. Get out of here with your Canada bullshit.

Also, the aeropress sounds nice but I spent $125 on craigslist to get my Magnifica and it is the best money I ever spent. Super automatic for the win!
 

Lanx

Oye Ve
<Prior Amod>
60,083
131,392
It's Italian motherfucker, they do it up right. Get out of here with your Canada bullshit.

Also, the aeropress sounds nice but I spent $125 on craigslist to get my Magnifica and it is the best money I ever spent. Super automatic for the win!
Yea if you are already drinking great coffee, whats the purpose of the aeropress then? except for maybe to take on trips or when your super automatic takes a big shit (no naming names!!!)?

It's that the aeropress is the best barrier to entry to obtain the best cup o joe that even real coffee houses would have a difficult time to get right (1 glaring issue i've noticed is that many baristas leave or make extra grounds in the doser and give you shit grinds, along w/ them just looking like a part time high schooler, who knows if they can even tamp well).

I'm also an advocate of pour over, these are usually know as the hario v60 or the more famously chemex however the barrier to entry is far greater, you need to have a gooseneck kettle, and develop skill in blooming and being a fake zen master at bullshit pouring.

And yes, you will be missing the crema from espresso in the aeropress cuz of the paper filter, however ppl have already made mesh screens for it, so you can obtain a near espresso shot (you now have to worry about your grind size tho, and have to really "dial it in")
 

spronk

FPS noob
22,478
25,386
i'm lazy as fuck, this is my daily coffee since i prefer cold to warm

knio8uk.jpg


add some half and half and liquid stevia (no sugar) to my mid morning cup. One 48oz bottle lasts me a week and costs me $4 on sale, and zero cleanup/effort. no sugar added so its pretty much 1-2g sugar/carbs a cup.

I do have a high end espresso machine for cold winter days but rarely use it since its a whole production, mostly just used to impress guests with how much more awesome our house is than theirs
 

LiquidDeath

Magnus Deadlift the Fucktiger
4,831
11,118
Yea if you are already drinking great coffee, whats the purpose of the aeropress then? except for maybe to take on trips or when your super automatic takes a big shit (no naming names!!!)?

It's that the aeropress is the best barrier to entry to obtain the best cup o joe that even real coffee houses would have a difficult time to get right (1 glaring issue i've noticed is that many baristas leave or make extra grounds in the doser and give you shit grinds, along w/ them just looking like a part time high schooler, who knows if they can even tamp well).

I'm also an advocate of pour over, these are usually know as the hario v60 or the more famously chemex however the barrier to entry is far greater, you need to have a gooseneck kettle, and develop skill in blooming and being a fake zen master at bullshit pouring.

And yes, you will be missing the crema from espresso in the aeropress cuz of the paper filter, however ppl have already made mesh screens for it, so you can obtain a near espresso shot (you now have to worry about your grind size tho, and have to really "dial it in")

I getcha. I actually hate crema. It is the worst tasting part of the shot, it just looks pretty. I'll have to check out the aeropress for travel.

My Magnifica was used when I got it and has been a champ for daily use for several years. I hope I can get a few more out of it.

i'm lazy as fuck, this is my daily coffee since i prefer cold to warm

add some half and half and liquid stevia (no sugar) to my mid morning cup. One 48oz bottle lasts me a week and costs me $4 on sale, and zero cleanup/effort. no sugar added so its pretty much 1-2g sugar/carbs a cup.

I do have a high end espresso machine for cold winter days but rarely use it since its a whole production, mostly just used to impress guests with how much more awesome our house is than theirs

Liquid stevia is the shit. I have completely stopped using sugar in my coffee because of it. Where do you get it in 48oz bottles?
 

kudos

<Banned>
2,363
695
Yep the beans are key the equipment is pretty secondary and you can probably make a good cup out of any of them if the beans are good and you have the right ratio of water to coffee. Speaking of Cold Brew this may be heresy but I am really enjoying the Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold brew from Starbucks, and the fact I can get it in a Trenta makes it all that much better.
I've been drinking their Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold brew for the past week. That shit is great. What the fuck is a Trenta though? I just tried Starbucks breakfast for the first time this week too and it surprised me. The sausage, egg, and cheese english muffin was great.
 

Kovaks

Mr. Poopybutthole
2,354
3,142
I've been drinking their Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold brew for the past week. That shit is great. What the fuck is a Trenta though? I just tried Starbucks breakfast for the first time this week too and it surprised me. The sausage, egg, and cheese english muffin was great.

Trenta is the 32 Oz size for cold drinks at Starbucks so one size up from a venti. They won't give espresso drinks in it though only iced coffee or tea. For the cold brew it is only a few cents more so worth it to me.
 

kudos

<Banned>
2,363
695
Trenta is the 32 Oz size for cold drinks at Starbucks so one size up from a venti. They won't give espresso drinks in it though only iced coffee or tea. For the cold brew it is only a few cents more so worth it to me.
This is the best news I've heard all day.
 
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Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
11,333
5,322
I saw cafe bustelo or whatever at the store today and picked up a brick, I'm on vacation with some acquaintances so i've decided I'm not going to shut up about how good it is all week
 
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a_skeleton_02

<Banned>
8,130
14,248
I drink green mountain breakfast blend K-Cups out of a Keurig that hasn't been cleaned in like 3 years. Lots of cream and sugar.

Fuck you.
 
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Lanx

Oye Ve
<Prior Amod>
60,083
131,392
I saw cafe bustelo or whatever at the store today and picked up a brick, I'm on vacation with some acquaintances so i've decided I'm not going to shut up about how good it is all week
why would you go on vacation w/o a grinder /aeropress/and beans?