Common movie behaviors that never happen in real life

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supertouch_sl

shitlord
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I randomly thought about the fact that characters never say "hello" or "bye" on the phone and I started laughing.

Also, drivers insist on looking at the passenger the whole time instead of paying attention to the road.
 
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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when somebody ends a call on a cellphone they hear the dial tone.

people can teleport. they travel distances in no time. hardly anyone ever needs to take a shit
 
Jait

Jait

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No one ever looks when crossing the street, usually while talking on a cellphone too.

There's almost never any smoke where there's fire. In a house that shit will kill you long before the fire.

That while in space, ships, guns, lasers, engines all make noise....
 
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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i see plenty of assholes on the street crossing while talking on their cellphones and dont bother to even look where they are going. even worse is when people jaywalk doing that shit.
 
Furious

Furious

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Spaceships that have wings. Thought the borg was about the only one done right.
 
Thorpe

Thorpe

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The ability to never have to go to the bathroom.

Also, specifically for the show 24, never having to charge their cellphone and always having reception.
 
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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when people call close friends or relatives on the phone and they always have to tell the person who they are. does anyone actually call their mom or best friend up and say, hi its (insert your name)?

speaking of 24, of course there is also the unlimited supply of ammo when firing a gun cept when its part of the plot.
 
Paranoia

Paranoia

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bad guys 3 or 4 of them with ak's unloading them and not one fucking bullet hits them, or goes through the material they happen to be standing behind.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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Maester Chuk_sl said:
when people call close friends or relatives on the phone and they always have to tell the person who they are. does anyone actually call their mom or best friend up and say, hi its (insert your name)?

speaking of 24, of course there is also the unlimited supply of ammo when firing a gun cept when its part of the plot.
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Uh yeah, I always say that shit when I call my parents. "Hey it's Zach", I have siblings.

Everyone knows some form of fighting and can take hundreds of hits or 1 hit.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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-Semis in movies honk their horn constantly and it always makes the same doppler effect sound.

-People are always explaining things to people who should already know them:

"Dave, you're my brother, and we grew up poor in Louisiana and our dad used to molest us, but.." Dave is probably aware of this right?

-Extended full-auto machine gun fights without someone carrying a backpack full of magazines.

How long it takes to empty a magazine on full auto:



-People constantly operate the action on thier firearm whether they need to or not. This is particularly true of pump action shotguns. Sometimes you have to cock those things 3 or 4 times just while you're getting ready to go out to where the bad guys are.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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Oh and all knives make the sound of a sword coming out of a steel sheath when you pull them out and make a whooshing noise when you wave it around.
 
Grimmlokk

Grimmlokk

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People driving in a straight line are constantly turning the steering wheel enough that they'd be killing people left and right with their swerving.
 
Adebisi

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
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Bad guys instantly dying from bullet wounds.

All guns have insane stopping power

Punching sounds.

People being knocked out for hours by a blow. No brain damage.

Long fist fights where multiple blows to the face are made.

Making computer hacking look visually stunning a la hacking the gibson.

Paper bag with baguette sticking out is the universal sign of "I'm grocery shopping"

Zero hearing damage from shooting guns nonstop. Archer and Black Hawk Down gets a pass here.
 
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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baddies who try to kill someone then when they finally get their hands on them leave them completely unscathed.

baddies or police or anyone armed with guns who start fighting hand to hand when they find their intended target.

in horror movies when perfectly normal and friendly people will sneak up behind someone and scare the motherfucking shit out of them and its not a prank. seriously, if you see someone alone in a room and they dont know you are there why would you creep up behind them instead of making some noise or to let them know you entered the room.
 
OneofOne

OneofOne

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To take one of Adebisi's a step further - people *instantly* die in movies from every tiny (and not so tiny) injury they get. Get stabbed in the back, throat cut, shot in the arm? Instantly dead! In reality many many injuries are not outright killers at all, and even if they are killing blows, it usually still takes time.

Women covering their breasts while in bed, or getting out of bed. I've *never* seen a woman do that, ever.

Having sex, then just rolling over and going to sleep. This seems pretty rare in RL. Usually you got to either take the condom off, or clean up.
 
Y

Yukiri_sl

shitlord
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The knock-back effect from all types of firearms. Almost anytime someone in a tv show or movie catches a shotgun blast to the chest they go sailing 20 feet.
 
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