Common movie behaviors that never happen in real life
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BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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I mentioned it in the Homeland thread, but also people being drowned, strangled, or suffocated in seconds, and of course the "rotate someone's head 45 degrees and cause instant death" thing that somehow all military trained people know how to do.
An old standby is people being knocked unconscious for an extended period of time from a single blow to the head and then waking up with no apparent ill effects when everyone has stopped paying attention to them and they have an opportunity to save the day or give us one last scare depending on whether they are a good guy or a bad guy. If a movie badass encounters a security guard, all he has to do is whack him with a flashlight or something and he is now permanently neutralized and we don't need to think about him again. I remember thinking this was cheesy when I was reading Hardy Boys books in elementary school but it still happens *all* the time in movies.
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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That's a good one too. An overturned kitchen table or sofa can take hundreds of rounds and none of them will get through. In fact a lot of bad guys use guns that have no effect at all aside from making noise.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Mahes
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Having wings has more to do with technological advancement than anything else. It helps to have Wings if your spacecraft has to enter an atmosphere of a planet and thus a gravitational field. If you are the Borg though, you most likely have a device that creates an anti-gravity field around your ship thus negating a need for any kind of wing to stabilize the ship. Obviously not all movies think about this, but Wings do come in handy for ships that do not "Just" fly in space like for example an X-wing.
My favorites are :
1. Bullets having the ability to knock people back multiple feet and often times flying into the air. As previously explained, being hit by a bullet does not generate near the force it seems to in a movie/TV show.
2. Grenades that have this HUGE explosive effect. Perhaps if they ignite something but otherwise it would be an explosive sound with little if any flame like effect.
3. The bad guys that miss while the hero fires one too two shots and hits.
4. The one punch knockout. It takes strength and a precise hit to knock a person out in one shot. Even then it does not guarantee that the person will be out for very long.
5. The amount of blood that actually would flow. Cutting a major artery creates a large mess. The whole few drops of blood they show in movies and TV shows is hilarious at times.
Quineloe
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Gravel
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Reminded me of this:
The full auto thing is definitely true. I remember the first time I unloaded a mag on full auto. It was fun as shit, but didn't last nearly as long as I thought (and this is military mag too, so 30 rounds).
Another one, and this is something Walking Dead is actually really bad about, is handguns. Motherfuckers are all getting headshots from 30 yards away like it's nothing. Action movies do this shit all the time too. It's hard as hell to hit a moving target with a handgun, especially at any sort of distance. I was in a god damn SF unit, and they basically trained us to use our pistol as an "oh shit, I'm about to die and this guy is on top of me" weapon. Like, point blank only, or if you've completely exhausted every single other weapon you have.
Sebudai
Ssraeszha Raider
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Why is the General advising the President during some national/worldwide attack always some hothead, irresponsible moron that totally underestimates the enemy and constantly second-guesses and berates the President to his face until the President finally caves and lets the General foolishly send some elite squad into an obvious trap that results in a total bloodbath?
Caliane
Avatar of War Slayer
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haha yeah.Characters who walk into dark homes/apartments and don't turn the lights on. Especially prevelant when they clearly are in danger.
I didnt have anything to add, until you mention this. As its reminded me of a bad netflix movie I watched the other day.
The haunting in Connecticut2. "We in georgia now, despite the title."
Ok. so family moves into old Georgia mansion. Learns of history as a station house in the underground railroad. The family is little girl. Mom, Dad, and Aunt.
The little girl has the shining. The dad ignores this. The mom also denies it, and had it as a kid as well, but it went away with her refusing to accept it. The aunt is more open to accepting the shining.
so ok. whatever.
Now they learn of bad things that occurred in the home in the past, from the daughter seeing and talking to ghosts. Eventually finding a root cellar with 3 bodies in it that are 150 years old.
News crews etc all report on it, etc.
Now, the little girl is still freaked out. She is insisting "a bad man/monster" is still around. the aunt says, the ghosts will be at rest now their bodies were found. The mom still is insisting the shining is not real and should just be ignored. The Dad is a bit shaken however, despite not having the shining at all. His little girl insists theres something evil still there and wants to move. The mom refuses. but the Dad says, "She was right about the bodies. we found bodies on our property. I agree. I think we should leave."" Which is kindof amusing itself. as standard horror movie logic is no one EVER listens to the person suggesting GTFO.
But the joke here is.. Jump cut. The father is sitting outside on the front porch in the dark alone, drinking a beer.
so, we go from this guy straight up saying, he wants to move out of the house he agrees might be haunted by some evil force, to him sitting in the dark outside on the porch drinking alone. 2seconds later. No other dialogue in between, not even a slow transition. it was a jump cut. It was so silly. Its one thing when the character is in denial about ghosts, or whatever but this guy was the only one that actually believed.
Oh shit lets get out of here! this house is haunted! But first, lets go into that closet turn off all lights and say candyman 3 times first.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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