Common movie behaviors that never happen in real life

One phone call when arrested and the cops being total assholes about it.

Sebudai_sl said:

Why is the General advising the President during some national/worldwide attack always some hothead, irresponsible moron that totally underestimates the enemy and constantly second-guesses and berates the President to his face until the President finally caves and lets the General foolishly send some elite squad into an obvious trap that results in a total bloodbath?

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That isn't that far fetched. There's tons of top military people that are idiots. TheMillennium Challengealone is evident of that.

Cad_sl said:

It always cracks me up when the clearly weaker character in a fight/escape gets a lucky/fortunate hit/shot/whatever and clearly stuns/knocks down his/her clearly superior opponent, and instead of moving in to finish him off, turns and runs, guaranteeing that the opponent will recover and get up eventually and chase him/her down again. If someone is trying to kill me and I knock them down and have the upper hand, I'm emptying my mag/swinging my bat/double-foot-jumping on their fucking skull before they get up.

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No you wouldn't.

Cad_sl said:

It always cracks me up when the clearly weaker character in a fight/escape gets a lucky/fortunate hit/shot/whatever and clearly stuns/knocks down his/her clearly superior opponent, and instead of moving in to finish him off, turns and runs, guaranteeing that the opponent will recover and get up eventually and chase him/her down again. If someone is trying to kill me and I knock them down and have the upper hand, I'm emptying my mag/swinging my bat/double-foot-jumping on their fucking skull before they get up.

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Either you have been in that situation enough times that you would be able to handle your fear as to not run once given the opportunity, or you are full of shit and have no clue what so ever about how you would handle yourself.

When the fat weakling main boss somehow gets the upper hand on the ninja badass hero. In order to make the fight seem even, usually the hero has been shot (in the shoulder. always) or the main boss has some kind of weapon, like a fire ax or a crowbar.

When characters who have been shot multiple times are totally fine in the next scene.

When the cool, rebellious kid is established as cool and rebellious by skateboarding in the halls at school. Even in my youth when Tony Hawk was the idol of kids everywhere this happened never. They were taken away as soon as you walked onto the bus and given back at the end of the day / school year if you were lucky.

Hot girls disguised as nerds by glasses and pony tails. We are not fooled.

When tiny, skinny girls beat up trained soldiers or supernatural beings three times their size. Blade 3 becoming Buffy the Vampire Slayer, come on, man. Even Bruce Lee admitted that Mohammad Ali would utterly demolish him. Jet Li trying to fight Dolph Lundgren in The Expendables is pretty much exactly how this would go down. (he lures him under some stairs where Dolph has to duck down. Which works for a while...)

When people have ninja fighting skills for no fucking reason at all. Full on Kung Fu out of nowhere.

When people have ninja fighting skills after two weeks of training. I'd rather they have just stuck with "for no reason."

When the last henchmen out of 20 is suddenly a match for the hero. He couldn't win with 19 other dudes helping him?

Ooh ooh I know a good one. When the hero is driving some badass sports car or rice rocket, yet the Econoline Van/Ice Cream Truck/Chevy Suburban/Deuce and a Half/RV towing a boat/Farm Tractor chasing him not only keeps up, but manages to ram him from behind multiple times. Dude, just shift into second gear?

... shifting is not the most exciting thing ever. Stop showing it. He's already shifted like, 25 times.

... this is why Jason Bourne in the Yugo was such a terrific chase scene. He's clearly not going to outrun anybody and needs mad skills to get out of this situation.

Quineloe_sl said:

the ATF took down FPSRussia in march? what the fuck? THANKS OBAMA!

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They have trouble getting guns for episodes ever since the main guy in charge of weapon handling got murdered. Then FPSRussia and his family's properties got raided in a separate investigation I believe.

an accordion_sl said:

One phone call when arrested and the cops being total assholes about it.

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man. how cops act in real life, vs how cops act in tv/movies would need its own thread.

Call 911 to report emergency. "hurr durr must be a prank call."

cops do show up. only 1 does. goes in alone. rarely even gives a call in to dispatch saying they arrived at location. generally. no one even knows that cop is there.

Pull a gun on someone. yells at someone to freeze or drop a gun. Never. ever. fires. So much so, that generally they end up in a fucking fist fight. AFTER guns were drawn.

Kreugen_sl said:

When people have ninja fighting skills after two weeks of training. I'd rather they have just stuck with "for no reason."

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Its always kindof bugged me in movies. that the opposite of this never happens.

Like, lets take spiderman 2.

Peter fights ock and shit on the raised rail. And at one point, he collapses after stopping it. And ock comes in. While the crowd stands between him and Peter. He then just pushes them all out of the way.
It creates this element where common folk are just trash, and useless.
Sure in Superman. ok. But with streetlevel guys like Batman/Spiderman. I would love to see a scene, where some villain is pulling this kind of shit. And some random guy, just hands his bags to his girlfriend, and starts fighting alongside the hero. Spiderman ties up ocks legs, and randomguy 101 decks him.

I would like to see movie like this make more effort to show the idea of, in the right and time, anyone is a hero. And at the same time. its more realistic. any given time in a crowd, you have no idea who is in it. Of if someone might just get lucky.

the person getting into their car (usually a woman or tom cruise) doesnt see the big motherfucker laying down in the back of their car until they get in the drivers seat and the dude pops up like a jack in the box and says something like, "just drive". i imagine this happened a lot more in RL when people drove larger autos, but in this day and age?

Caliane_sl said:

man. how cops act in real life, vs how cops act in tv/movies would need its own thread.

Call 911 to report emergency. "hurr durr must be a prank call."

cops do show up. only 1 does. goes in alone. rarely even gives a call in to dispatch saying they arrived at location. generally. no one even knows that cop is there.

Pull a gun on someone. yells at someone to freeze or drop a gun. Never. ever. fires. So much so, that generally they end up in a fucking fist fight. AFTER guns were drawn.

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Ugh, this is why a show like Southland being cancelled is so depressing.

Romance.

I love when women act like some weirdo chasing a woman around in a movie for days/weeks/months and finally gets her in the end with some wildly inappropriate grand gesture is romantic. Those same women would scream bloody murder and have a restraining order put on a dude if he tried to pull that crazy psychotic shit in real life.

At the very least they'd unfriend him on Facebook.

My current pet peeve is people getting hit cleanly with a metal pipe and not being stunned or dazed in the slightest as if they had just taken a punch to the gut versus fucking steel to the skull.

Remember this? Part III bow and arrow scene

Law enforcement in movies and TV shows seeing someone that is wanted and they stare the fucker down and say "stop police" from across the street giving the criminal a head start.

Chase scenes

People shooting out the tires on car and wildly crazy crashes occurring because of it.