Dating

BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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Just because the kid won't remember the divorce doesn't mean they won't be affected by it long term. That's sort of like saying it's okay to molest 2 year olds because they won't remember it. Those are very formative years even if you don't remember them after you grow up.
 
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Mudcrush Durtfeet

Mudcrush Durtfeet

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pharmakos said:
I never bothered to Google her name before. Just did and found her LinkedIn and Twitter. She's definitely not lying about being a high ranking executive or about her former involvement in South American politics. Huge web presence!
Click to expand...
More importantly, it proves she isn't lying about the state of her marriage!

Oh, wait...
 
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OhSeven

OhSeven

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pharmakos said:
I think most of you guys are married, but looking for some dating advice and thought I'd start a thread. Didn't see an old one surprisingly.

Recently met a woman 8 years my senior on Tinder (I'm in my mid 30s). She grew up in Uruguay, moved to America six years ago after getting a job as an exec with a major international company. The kind of job where she flies overseas to places like Taiwan or India for a week each month. Kind of blown away that she's even interested in me. Thing is.... She's married and has not told her husband she wants a divorce. She wants to take that slow to ease the transition for their 3 year old. But yeah just kind of wondering how big of a red flag it should be to me that she's already seeing me a little lol. She seems like she's a genuinely good person with a big heart, but yeah y'know?

Says she and her husband sleep in separate rooms, at his request. Today was their five year anniversary and he didn't say anything about it to her. She wanted to have multiple kids, which he agreed to before they married, but now he has taken that back and refuses to have more.

Seems like she's got everything else in her life figured out and is just sort of looking for that last piece of having good companionship. I hope that I'm right about that.
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thumb_cum-and-go-hit-it-and-quit-it-shoot-and-60186450.png
 
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pharmakos

pharmakos

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Married lady and I are going to Catholic mass together this morning

Odds that we burst into flames as we walk in the door?
 
SeanDoe1z1

SeanDoe1z1

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pharmakos said:
I have ALWAYS wanted to be a father but am sterile since chemotherapy. The idea of adopting a child actually sounds wonderful to me. If things do work out long term I would like to adopt not just her daughter but another needy child or two. Especially with someone who can afford to give them such a nice life like she can.

She has expressed her feelings. Actually in a way I feel like she has more feelings for me than I do for her -- there was another woman (closer to my age) I was crazy about before I met this new woman, and the transition away from that has been slow if I'm honest. I don't think things were ever going to work out with the younger one tho, way too many issues and hold-ups. Gorgeous woman that's been single for four years and seems.literallt afraid of love. Finding someone not afraid to go for it right after that has been refreshing I suppose.
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you can’t adopt someone else’s kid (the father’s) without some extreme circumstances in the majority of states.


you sound extremely emotionally vulnerable.



And a married woman on tinder that travels. the writing is pretty clear, best to take control before it ruins your life and you’re starting another thread a few years down the road
 
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BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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SeanDoe1z1 said:
you can’t adopt someone else’s kid (the father’s) without some extreme circumstances in the majority of states.
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The father just has to sign away his rights. A surprising number of dudes are willing to do this in exchange for not having to pay child support, although I doubt a guy who was actually married to the mother and lived with the kid for 3 years would ever do that. I also know of a foster family that changed the kid's name to theirs even though the parents refused to actually let them formally adopt the kid. They just had to post a notice in the paper asking if anyone objects and of course retarded meth heads don't read the newspaper.
 
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pharmakos

pharmakos

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SeanDoe1z1 said:
you can’t adopt someone else’s kid (the father’s) without some extreme circumstances in the majority of states.


you sound extremely emotionally vulnerable.



And a married woman on tinder that travels. the writing is pretty clear, best to take control before it ruins your life and you’re starting another thread a few years down the road
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Hey if it turns out I just get tuition paid for and that's the end of it I'll call it a win

And with her daughter I meant "adopt" in the colloquial sense. Just didn't feel like splitting hairs.
 
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Gavinmad

Gavinmad

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BrutulTM said:
I also know of a foster family that changed the kid's name to theirs even though the parents refused to actually let them formally adopt the kid. They just had to post a notice in the paper asking if anyone objects and of course retarded meth heads don't read the newspaper.
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Seems like a lot of important details are missing from that story to make it not borderline kidnapping.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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Gavinmad said:
Seems like a lot of important details are missing from that story to make it not borderline kidnapping.
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They had permanent custody already. The parents were just refusing to let him be adopted out of spite even though they knew they could never get custody back. I think they could have technically adopted him eventually but it would have taken a lot of expensive court bullshit so they just changed his name and called that good enough.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

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BrutulTM said:
They had permanent custody already. The parents were just refusing to let him be adopted out of spite even though they knew they could never get custody back.
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If Termination of Parental Rights occurred, the biological parents have no standing to contest the name change in the first place.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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I'm not debating the law with you. All I know is that for some reason they had to put it in the newspaper that they were changing his name and hope no one objected to it.
 
Hateyou

Hateyou

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I wouldn’t be fucking around with this lady until she was separated from the husband and living elsewhere. Divorces can drag out, I get that so whatever. But I could not be hanging out with someone romantically then waving goodbye as she goes home to another man where you really have no idea what’s going on, just what she’s telling you.
 
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pharmakos

pharmakos

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Hateyou said:
I wouldn’t be fucking around with this lady until she was separated from the husband and living elsewhere. Divorces can drag out, I get that so whatever. But I could not be hanging out with someone romantically then waving goodbye as she goes home to another man where you really have no idea what’s going on, just what she’s telling you.
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Yeah I hear ya. Definitely on my mind. She does make a point to text me for a long conversation starting around 8-9PM, so I feel like she's likely telling the truth about her and her husband sleeping in separate rooms. But yeah still. Who knows how long it could go on for. Been thinking about it since I saw her on Friday, and yeah definitely going to tell her that I want to take a step back as far as intimacy is concerned (even tho we didn't have sex we did get fairly physical). Going to stay in touch with her and etc tho. The fact that she wanted to go to Catholic mass with me was a huge green flag to me even if she obviously has a lot of her own shit she needs to figure out.
 
K

k^M

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No one else has said it, so I will. You're about to become suspect #1 in her husbands mysterious accident falling out of his bedroom window.
 
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pharmakos

pharmakos

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k^M said:
No one else has said it, so I will. You're about to become suspect #1 in her husbands mysterious accident falling out of his bedroom window.
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Nah she's too smart for that lol.
 
Kriptini

Kriptini

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pharmakos said:
Married lady and I are going to Catholic mass together this morning

Odds that we burst into flames as we walk in the door?
Click to expand...

There is a profound irony here. She is (essentially) cheating on her husband and seriously considering divorce yet going to mass? I can only hope that God convicts her and that He sends you a wake-up call. This woman is going to hurt you, man.
 
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Borzak

Borzak

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k^M said:
No one else has said it, so I will. You're about to become suspect #1 in her husbands mysterious accident falling out of his bedroom window.
Click to expand...

And 1/4 of your friends in the interview will say "nah he couldn't have done something like that"

3/4 will say "I knew something wasn't right with that boy all along".
 
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