Dating

OU Ariakas

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A little making out at the end of dates with 3 of the 5. It was all demure, none tried to give me a tonsillectomy or anything. Honestly, I am not looking to hop into bed with any of them; I'd hate to have a stage 5 clinger this early on in my newly free life.
 
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Seananigans

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A little making out at the end of dates with 3 of the 5. It was all demure, none tried to give me a tonsillectomy or anything. Honestly, I am not looking to hop into bed with any of them; I'd hate to have a stage 5 clinger this early on in my newly free life.

How are you finding them? Apps or the old-fashioned way (run them down on horseback and lasso them)?
 
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OU Ariakas

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How are you finding them? Apps or the old-fashioned way (run them down on horseback and lasso them)?

App, singular. I am on Bumble and it seems to be working as intended. I decided not to branch out to other ones in case I run out of prospects on this one! I haven't been out enough to meet any in person yet, although I have made it my mission to ask a few if they'd like a drink the next time I catch an eye. I want to see if I still have it (or if my wallet does).
 
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Kirun

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I found my now wife on Bumble.

It was always the app I had the most success with. On average, the women there are a lot more "mature".
 
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Cutlery

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Man, the one date I had on bumble was a fucking shit show. I swore off that thing immediately.

Met some decent gals on OkCupid, but that was quite a few years ago

Met my new wife at work, because organically seems to be the best way for that shit to work. If she doesn't look at you instantly and think you're hot, you've got a work too hard.
 
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OU Ariakas

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After hanging out at a bar for happy hour and staying until 9pm, I had one invite me back to her place. I have no idea how guys like Nirgon Nirgon get so down on guys chances with women; the bar most guys set is so fucking low that just acting/treating women decently seems to put you in the top 10%. I didn't think I did anything special and this is the text I get on the way home.

Screenshot 2025-06-18 101750.jpg
 
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Nirgon

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After hanging out at a bar for happy hour and staying until 9pm, I had one invite me back to her place. I have no idea how guys like Nirgon Nirgon get so down on guys chances with women; the bar most guys set is so fucking low that just acting/treating women decently seems to put you in the top 10%. I didn't think I did anything special and this is the text I get on the way home.

View attachment 590821

Come see me in the other thread about it then
 
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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After hanging out at a bar for happy hour and staying until 9pm, I had one invite me back to her place. I have no idea how guys like Nirgon Nirgon get so down on guys chances with women; the bar most guys set is so fucking low that just acting/treating women decently seems to put you in the top 10%. I didn't think I did anything special and this is the text I get on the way home.

View attachment 590821

You just don't get it, you see. Personal experiences don't matter. 63% of guys filled out a survey. That's what matters.
 
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Kirun

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Most men who aren't successful with women come off as total creepy fucking weirdos.

There were definitely peaks and valleys at times when I was in the "modern" dating scene, but all the "hardships" with modern woman that the incel crowd describes makes me laugh.
 
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Phazael

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There is a difference between looking for Mrs Right vs Mrs Right Now. I think we can all agree on that. That said getting back on the proverbial horse as it were by bar trawling is not the worst idea, especially if you have been out of the market for a long time. Getting that first base hit is a major step in finding your footing in certain situations.
 
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Kirun

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There is a difference between looking for Mrs Right vs Mrs Right Now. I think we can all agree on that. That said getting back on the proverbial horse as it were by bar trawling is not the worst idea, especially if you have been out of the market for a long time. Getting that first base hit is a major step in finding your footing in certain situations.
Well, even Mrs. Right Now can turn into Mrs. Right. That's essentially how I met my now wife. I was 100% just whoring it up on dating apps. I've even told my wife this, that I had ZERO intentions of going beyond smash and dash. But, she played her cards right and was super cool/mellow about everything, didn't come off as clingy, etc.

The biggest thing was steering clear of chicks that had tumultuous relationships with their dad, or realizing you'd have to be ok being their "father figure" if they didn't have a relatively healthy relationship with him.
 
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OU Ariakas

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There is a difference between looking for Mrs Right vs Mrs Right Now. I think we can all agree on that. That said getting back on the proverbial horse as it were by bar trawling is not the worst idea, especially if you have been out of the market for a long time. Getting that first base hit is a major step in finding your footing in certain situations.

This is just me (but I think K KDow would agree), but I have not gone on a date with a girl just because I think she looks fun. I text/talk with them enough to make sure our personalities align and I could date this person more than a few weeks/months. I honestly think that is one of the reasons for what I would consider the success of the dates I've been on so far in that none of them have been overtly crazy or awkward. Every one of them has been enjoyable enough to have a second date at the least.
 

Phazael

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Forward intel and engagement is always good, but fundamentally people lie about a lot of things, especially themselves even to themselves. Putting yourself out there is always going to be a risk. Mustering the resolve to get back out there is a major step in moving forward and one a lot of people (not just men) never make it past. Either way, good for you taking the leap.
 
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OU Ariakas

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Forward intel and engagement is always good, but fundamentally people lie about a lot of things, especially themselves even to themselves. Putting yourself out there is always going to be a risk. Mustering the resolve to get back out there is a major step in moving forward and one a lot of people (not just men) never make it past. Either way, good for you taking the leap.

I honestly think my situation was the exact opposite; I didn't have any problem getting back out there because I had not had a real connection with a woman in so long. In fact, my first post-nut clarity thought with someone new after 15 years was "I married someone that I didn't realize was fundamentally incompatible with me and we made each other's lives harder for a long time."
 
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Cutlery

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I honestly think my situation was the exact opposite; I didn't have any problem getting back out there because I had not had a real connection with a woman in so long. In fact, my first post-nut clarity thought with someone new after 15 years was "I married someone that I didn't realize was fundamentally incompatible with me and we made each other's lives harder for a long time."

I know that feel.
 
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Kais

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Are there any apps that don't completely block you from messaging unless you pay? Been on Hinge for about 2 months to "test the waters" and the only notifications i get are ads for %off $50 this month only! 30 days! Seems like a huge ripoff. I'll pay to play if it seems worth it but in this area most of Hinge swipes are a hard no.