Dating

OU Ariakas

OU Ariakas

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ShakyJake said:
Popping back into this thread instantly reminded me why dating isn’t worth the effort. Good grief.

You’ve only been divorced for a year. Why are you already rushing to date someone new? Take some time to enjoy being on your own first.
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If you follow the Marriage/Divorce thread you would know that my situation was different and the idea of spending time with women who wanted to be around me is something that had been missing for a long time. Also, how the fuck do you know what I am or am not enjoying? I have already had plenty of time on my own over the last year even while dating (and enjoying that quite a bit). Fuck, I am already planning a degenerate gaming session of POE2 league start instead of almost guaranteed romance at the end of May.
 
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ShakyJake

ShakyJake

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OU Ariakas said:
If you follow the Marriage/Divorce thread you would know that my situation was different and the idea of spending time with women who wanted to be around me is something that had been missing for a long time. Also, how the fuck do you know what I am or am not enjoying? I have already had plenty of time on my own over the last year even while dating (and enjoying that quite a bit). Fuck, I am already planning a degenerate gaming session of POE2 league start instead of almost guaranteed romance at the end of May.
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Yeah, you're right, my apologies.. Just had triggering visions of the typical needy individual that HAS to be with someone constantly.
 
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Rajaah

Rajaah

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Cad said:
My wife's parents initially refused to meet me when we were first going out, but after they realized it wasn't a short term thing, they were cool with me. We have 4 in-laws, I'm the only white one, and I'm their favorite in-law.

Your initial read is correct but once they open up to you they treat you like authentic family.
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Are her parents Jewish?

I think having money might also be a requirement. Or at least being on the path to having it.
 
Rajaah

Rajaah

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ShakyJake said:
Popping back into this thread instantly reminded me why dating isn’t worth the effort. Good grief.

You’ve only been divorced for a year. Why are you already rushing to date someone new? Take some time to enjoy being on your own first.
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Not sure who you're talking to, but I concur, a lot of folks here need to get better at being alone for a little while. Jesus H. No need to spaz out that you've been single for six months. I've had plenty of year+ single phases where I made zero effort to meet anyone and been fine, I'm always busy.

Though it's true that we have a finite amount of time in the world and I suppose I get that some folks need to be with someone else to feel like they aren't wasting it.
 
Khane

Khane

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Guy stays single for a year, which is a long time, and he gets grief about "rushing back in".

I suspect you guys spend more time at your local hobby shop than you do in the shower.
 
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ShakyJake

ShakyJake

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Rajaah said:
Though it's true that we have a finite amount of time in the world and I suppose I get that some folks need to be with someone else to feel like they aren't wasting it.
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Something I need to realize is most people are (very) different from me. Last relationship I had was over 20 years ago and quite frankly have zero desire to look for or be with anyone at this stage. I recognize later in life might become rough, but the sacrifice I'd make inviting someone into my life isn't something I want to pursue.
 
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Cutlery

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ShakyJake said:
Something I need to realize is most people are (very) different from me. Last relationship I had was over 20 years ago and quite frankly have zero desire to look for or be with anyone at this stage. I recognize later in life might become rough, but the sacrifice I'd make inviting someone into my life isn't something I want to pursue.
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Sorry you feel like that, man.

I will tell you this - they're not all the same, as much as it may seem like that sometimes.
 
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Cad

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Rajaah said:
Are her parents Jewish?

I think having money might also be a requirement. Or at least being on the path to having it.
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No, asian - and both they and my wife demanded I graduate college first, so yea there's some of that too.
 
Rajaah

Rajaah

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ShakyJake said:
Something I need to realize is most people are (very) different from me. Last relationship I had was over 20 years ago and quite frankly have zero desire to look for or be with anyone at this stage. I recognize later in life might become rough, but the sacrifice I'd make inviting someone into my life isn't something I want to pursue.
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I'm also sorry you feel that way. The right woman makes everything easier, not harder. If adding someone ends up being subtraction, then walk away from it. Adding someone might be a lot better than you think though. Lots of women don't mind giving a guy space. It's pretty much a requirement with me that they be able to back the fuck off sometimes. A lot couldn't handle that, one just assumed I was spending that time with someone else. Jesus Christ. Anyway, some women really do contribute even to a lone wolf's life. They run a vast spectrum.
 
Cad

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Rajaah said:
I'm also sorry you feel that way. The right woman makes everything easier, not harder. If adding someone ends up being subtraction, then walk away from it. Adding someone might be a lot better than you think though. Lots of women don't mind giving a guy space. It's pretty much a requirement with me that they be able to back the fuck off sometimes. A lot couldn't handle that, one just assumed I was spending that time with someone else. Jesus Christ. Anyway, some women really do contribute even to a lone wolf's life. They run a vast spectrum.
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My wife is like him I think - she's perfectly fine sitting in the bathroom working on jewelry and clothes by herself, no need for interaction at all for long periods of time. She's also fine spending time with me, but she doesn't like most people and would probably be alone if I got kidnapped by aliens or something. But your point is sound, she does actually seek out spending time with me, but I honestly don't think she would if I wasn't around.

Some people really are just fine being alone and they are not lonely. I don't really get it, I'd be lonely, but people are different.
 
Izo

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My wife likes to work in the bathroom too when I'm not around. With the shower head. I suspect it might turn into a business if I get kidnapped by aliens. Same-same.
 
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ShakyJake

ShakyJake

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Rajaah said:
I'm also sorry you feel that way. The right woman makes everything easier, not harder. If adding someone ends up being subtraction, then walk away from it. Adding someone might be a lot better than you think though. Lots of women don't mind giving a guy space. It's pretty much a requirement with me that they be able to back the fuck off sometimes. A lot couldn't handle that, one just assumed I was spending that time with someone else. Jesus Christ. Anyway, some women really do contribute even to a lone wolf's life. They run a vast spectrum.
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And how many women would I have to go through just to find the “right” one? No thanks. It’s absolutely not worth the time and trouble.

That’s why, when I read people’s experiences in this thread, I’m thinking there’s no way I could deal with that. I just don’t care enough to slog through all of it.
 
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