Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Dating
- Thread starter Wintermute
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ShakyJake
<Donor>
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This is exactly my point. Why would I want to do stuff I don't want to do to potentially get something that I don't really want? I'd be miserable. F that.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Control
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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Just how?
I'm trying to talk you into anything. Perfectly valid to be single if you want imo. Just throwing out there though that if you find the right person, you shouldn't need to do things you don't want to do. Ideally, you find someone with enough overlap to let you enjoy plenty of things together, some out of shared interest and some out of just enjoying the time together. And also enough independence that you can enjoy things separately where necessary. Everybody seems to make relationships into a giant ordeal, but with the right person, everything gets easier.
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Much harder to find someone when you're older and have an established life and ways of doing things.
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Fucker
Log Wizard
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My GF likes to be alone. The only person she likes spending a lot of time with is her younger sister...and that's because they are carbon copies of each other in terms of personality. She wasn't looking for a bf until I popped up, and even then just kind of materialized over time. She kept her own house for a long time, and kept it for most of the time we knew each other.
She doesn't care for people much, and genuinely gets tired of them pretty quickly. Home is her castle, and she's content in it and quietly doing hobbies and reading. And sleeping.
I don't mind people much, but primarily don't mind them anywhere but not near me. She's been living with me for a handful of years. She wasn't sure it would work, but we are both fine with space and don't need validation and constant maintenance.
Women who always need someone else to provide stimulation for them are a chore.
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Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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Extroverts and introverts are similarly baffling and maddening to each other, you need to find someone similarly clingy to you. Clingy isn't necessarily a bad thing, some people want clingy. Some people can't stand it. It's just one of those things it's better if you match with your partner, like sex drive. You can make it work if you don't match, but it's sure easier if you do.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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When we were married we both thought we were introverts. Years later she took a personality test from Jordon Petersen and found out she was an extrovert with lots of anxiety. I found out I was an introvert because she made me take the test too. Don't laugh, it's gotta be better than the stupid tests in women's magazines. Anyway, it works for us. Even though I'm introverted, I always said I wanted someone to twist my arm and get me to try new things. Now she twists my arm and has to hold onto it for the duration of the new experience.
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ShakyJake
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I took one of those Myers Briggs personality tests in college. I think it came back with something like 95% introverted.
I used to think it would be nice to have someone to travel with -- because there ain't no way I'm going anywhere by myself. But I'm such a homebody I think I'd just be miserable anyway.
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Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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You're my wife in my scenario, she generally does not like new things and also would be happy chilling at home most of the time.
She enjoys it when I make plans and we do things, but if I didn't, she probably wouldn't. But she also asks why we aren't doing anything if I don't plan anything. So, typical woman in some respects.
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Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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Not trying to be weird but do you not miss the sex? Like if nothing else traveling with a woman is pretty nice because they're there at night as well.
Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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That definitely explains the lack of interest in putting up with women. If you're not interested in the milk, why have a cow around...
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Control
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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Well sure, I didn't say it was easy. Putting yourself in a position to meet new people takes effort if you aren't already doing things that bring you into contact with new people regularly. But of those new people you meet, the right one is the one that makes everything after that easy imo.
Also, even though it takes effort, if you do it right, you only have to do it once(ish).
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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I'm barely ever in the position to meet new people. Very few opportunities. Most of my longtime friends moved away in the past five years, nobody wants to live in this state I guess. I've got like two people left I hang out with, both dudes. Though in the past month I started grilling outside in my complex and over that time I've made friends with basically half the people who live here.
I haven't gone to a house party since 2019, haven't gone to someone's big family get-together since Thanksgiving 2025, haven't gone to a nightclub since I want to say 2014. Never been to a single's bar, never been to a bar with the purpose of meeting someone in general. Never been speed dating. Haven't been on a dating app since 2019. Haven't been out bar-crawling with friends since 2019.
Every time I actually get opportunities (aka get invited to a co-worker's social event with a bunch of their friends, or go to a wedding / birthday party, or go to someone's board game night and actual women show up)... literally every time, I end up hitting it off with someone and getting her number. Doesn't mean there's any follow-up* but either way I hit it off with women effectively whenever that door is open. Most of the time the door is closed though. I'd have to go invite myself to something, basically.
I'm good with women, though I have a height issue to overcome because I'm not QUITE six feet and that seems to make a huge fucking difference to women for some reason. Take the same guy, clone him into versions that are 5'10'' and 6'2'', and I bet the latter guy will have a much much much MUCH easier time getting women. Women are so much nicer to taller guys, take them more seriously, and seem to subconsciously see them as more put together / responsible. I've watched friends slightly over six feet make basically no effort and have women throw themselves at them, and I've watched guys slightly under have to do social gymnastics to get and hold women's attention.
* - Women sure ghost a lot in the 2020's. I'm on a streak of six women saying yes to me in a row when I asked them out, which might sound impressive until you factor in that all of them either never answered or flaked out at some point over texts before we got to any actual date, maybe a seventh will actually go somewhere!
I used to be really into the idea of traveling with women. I wanted an LTR where we could travel and see all kinds of places together. Well, it turned out that travel isn't really all that, and every time I traveled ended up being more of a pain in the ass than anything else. The only real fun trips I ever had was going to Atlantic City with my redhead. We spent most of our time there having sex, especially in and around the hotel room's big bathtub and ceiling-based rain shower panel. Giant bed, too, lots of room for me to throw her around. It was great. Except that outside the hotel room, the actual "trip" portion of the trip was lame.
AC is a seedy fucking dive of a place. Reminded me of Midgar from FF7. You have this opulent, lit-up, gorgeous side of town (I think we stayed in the Trump hotel), then right next to it this run-down slum side of town. Everything was overpriced tourist traps and/or good places to get mugged. Random guys would rampantly hit on her / catcall her the SECOND she was alone for any length of time because I went to the bathroom or was pumping gas or something. Not even quality guys either, like fucking dregs of society materializing out of nowhere all "eyyyyy girrrrrl". We were both black belts and not afraid of very much, but Atlantic City was a "conclude your business and get the fuck out" for us.
Is church a good place to meet women? Mainly likeminded, non batshit crazy ones? Cause around here, the majority of the women are loco (probably like 75% TBH) and it sucks meeting someone I like only to have them immediately reveal themselves as another overemotional politics-crazed nut.
I was thinking about going to church more already in general because I've had way too many completely wild "coincidences" happen that I couldn't explain. Like the girl I was with for most of the 2010s, I met her via my new roommate introducing us, after I changed apartments. However if I had stayed in the previous apartment I would have met her anyway, because her best friend became one of the tenants there right before I moved. We would go hang out with her best friend and it was always trippy that I was going back to my literal previous apartment, in a city with a million apartments. It gets better, too. The place I lived BEFORE THAT, for a few years, she spent a lot of time at because she dated a guy who lived there after I left. So there's a good chance I would have met her at that place too. The odds of this are basically nonexistent. I would have met her if I'd stayed at either of my previous two places. Definitely with the previous place, possible with the one before that.
Basically, I was going to meet her, inevitably. That sort of thing really makes me question the order of the universe. There have been plenty of other things too that I can't explain, and suffice to say at this point I find it harder to make a case for agnosticism than I do for there being a higher order governing things.
Crisco
A greasy jar
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In my 40s, I found its easy to meet new friends with all the extra stuff church hosts. I been married for 15 years so not sure how the dating is but I see single people often enough at the random events/gatherings they do. Doubt you'll meet someone on Sunday.
I will admit it was awkward at first and outside my comfort zone but it was one way to meet people as an old man and also find families with kids to have things in common.
I wouldn't want to be dating today as I hate apps for anything but feels like the main trend. I just approached my wife and the rest is history there.
Good luck finding anyone I'm sure its like finding a needle in a needle stack.
Control
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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The first one is in your direct control. If you want that to change, change it.
You're not going to grow taller, so stop thinking about height. Even if women really are repelled at the sight of shorties, it doesn't matter since you can't do dick about it. Focus on what you can change. If you really can't stop yourself from comparing things with other guys, try to look for what they do differently than you that isn't their height. There's a LOT of communication that's subconscious, that comes from your body language, how you carry yourself, etc. I'd bet that a disinterested observer could spot a bunch of differences between you and your "girl magic" friends that have nothing to do with height. If you need to obsess over it, figure out what those things are. (I'm tall enough to be a non-midget, and I've never had women throwing themselves at me, fwiw.)
Also, despite being a midget, women do apparently say yes to you, so being a midget apparently isn't all that terrible though. Instead of blaming all women for being flaky, focus on improving your conversion rate. If you were in a sales job and couldn't convert any leads, do you think your boss would accept "well, I guess all buyers are just flaky!"? No, you'd be expected to find what you're fucking up and fix it. Or maybe you're not fucking up, and you just expect the conversion rate to be higher than it really is and you need 60 yeses instead of 6. If it's important to you, work on both sides of the funnel. But stop giving a shit about things you can't control and work on the things you can.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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This shit is an epidemic nowadays. 4 times in the past 6 months ive asked a woman out, they said yes only to cancel day of.