Dating

Hoss said:

I don't think you appreciate how low Izo's standards are.



Back in the day when I was on plentyoffish, I found out there was a setting a girl could choose that filtered out any dude who had ever searched for or viewed profiles of girls looking for short term relationships. I thought I was just casting a wide net, turns out I was making myself invisible to the girls I wanted the most. They don't even tell the guys about it. I can't remember how I found out. I think I met a girl IRL who was on PoF and I couldn't find her. Had to delete that profile and make a new one. Anyway, I don't know the answer but I bet that setting would still be effective if it's available.

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If there was such a setting now I'm sure all the chicks would be checking it, never heard of it though.

Hoss said:

my experience is that they don't tell the dudes. Also, If I'm remembering correctly, the girl didn't know what it did when she checked it. I only knew because I dug into some discussion forums.

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Maybe, but I'm talking to the ladies... if they had a setting like that I'm sure I would have heard "and I checked the secret female only filter short term guys setting too and I'm still getting them!" Nothing like that, they never even mentioned it.

Phazael said:

Not so sure, that stupid app for tracking dudes dating history did not really get a lot of public attention until it got breeched by some chuds. And women have a natural cloaking field for stuff like that, mostly because men tune a lot of their drama out automatically as a mental health defense. I would like to say you are right, but my experience (and that of many of my friends) is that women cannot keep secrets from each other, but will keep them from the male population. Men kind of do the same thing in reverse, but for different reasons.

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You think in a conversation specifically about how they can't find any good men, where they are sitting there confessing their dating failures and how the apps suck and all the men lie to them, they conveniently hide the fact that there's a setting which gets them better long-term choices but they just know somehow to keep that secret from me and my wife? (These are neighborhood ladies, they talk to us all the time, it's not me talking to single chicks...).

I mean, yea sure maybe.

Or, and I'm just spitballing here, rather than every woman on the planet just knowing not to tell men things, the setting never existed and doesn't exist now on any dating app (Grok sez) :

No. Plenty of Fish (POF) does not have — and shows no evidence of ever having had — any setting where a woman (or any user) can filter out men based on whether those men have ever searched for or viewed profiles of people looking for short-term/casual relationships.

On every other major dating app/site (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Match, etc.): Same story. They all let users set and filter by self-declared relationship goals/intent (Tinder added searchable relationship-type tiles in 2025 for serious/casual/non-monogamy, etc.). None of them track or expose a user’s internal search/view history across intent categories as a filter option. That kind of cross-profile behavioral logging for exclusion purposes is not offered anywhere in the mainstream apps — it would be privacy-invasive, technically complex, and bad for engagement metrics, so platforms simply do not build or advertise it.

Phazael said:

You asked if it was possible for them to keep in group gossip away from men. I cannot speak on the app because I have no personal experience with any of that shit, only second hand information. But we both know women love to complain about shit all the time. But they never actually want a solution, they just want to bitch. I think this is what is going on with you and your two single friends, but they don't have their own men to dump this shit on so they are using you for this purpose to a degree. If you don't believe me, thats fine. I don't know the details of your life so I am speculating here. But I would ask Mrs Cad her take on this, since she presumably also knows the two women in question. I bet her perspective would be very interesting, especially since asian women are far less interested in drama and bullshit than most women.

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Bro you really would not believe how Mrs. Cad acts, she would say everyone over 30 who is single is a stupid, undateable, broken person who probably fucked half the town by now. She does not care about woman drama at all. Her friends are perplexed. I laugh my fucking ass off at the questions they ask her.

Phazael said:

Like I said, her perspective on your friends would be interesting and probably the most unvarnished and unbiased one we could ask for.

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I just gave it to you.

Phazael said:

Well that would track with a lot of the opinions in this thread. I happen to agree with it, especially if these are downtown Dallas career women.

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Of course you do. What do you think she'd say about you? Hope you agree with that one too.

This would have had to have been a setting that the women can choose, right?

You don't think that such a setting would have been discussed or mentioned... ANYWHERE... in 15+ years?

Phazael said:

You really need to learn some chill and stop peceiving differences of opinion as personal attacks. It is poisoning everything you are trying to communicate.

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You attack where I live (and by extension, my wife), but I should take that "difference of opinion" at face value and not a personal attack?

Sure sparky.