Depression

Jesus I feel dirty for even being a part of the conversation now. Sorry to see him go, but completely understand his reasoning.

Fuck. Seriously? Don't do that "real life" shit. Nobody deserves that. Especially with a topic as sensitive and often dangerous as mental health.

Dabamf's a narcissist and a jackass. Going after him to that extent was uncalled for, but regardless given how some people here went from shitting on him for being an idiot to feeling sorry for him won't help him out with this experience at all. If anything it'll increase his resolve that how he's talking to people here who clearly have real mental health problems is the correct way to go.

Let me share a secret with you. Most therapists/psychologists are nutbags. I'm not saying this necessarily interferes with their ability to be effective at what they do, but a large swath of them have just as many "issues" as their patients. I have for example four sisters, two of whom studied psychology in college. One had an eating disorder in her teens and early twenties, and she was drawn to psychology as a way to figure out her own issues. She now has a PhD and treats women with eating disorders. The other was (and still is) a diagnosed narcissist, and did her bachelor's in psychology, if only to prove she isn't a narcissist and be able to constantly "tell people what they're feeling because I have a degree in psychology". Again, I'm not saying that a crazy psychologist is any less effective than a sane one, just that the field attracts a lot of people with "issues". The only danger I really see with this phenomena is that psych patients seem to bestow this "infallible" title to their therapists, when in fact they're not spock, but just another human with real issues too.

Tarrant_sl said:

imo, OneofOne should be banned if not from the forums as a whole then at least from the Grown Up Forums. Wasn't very "Grown Up" of him.

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Looks like we found out why his wife is leaving him.

Yes, and make sure you doxx her in the assets. Regularly.

If one is not perma-banned for such an egregious offense, the community shall perma-ban him themselves.

Time to get this shit out of here. Take it to another thread.

Rope_sl said:

I didn't read it as a once in a life time request. It reeked of dependency and it shouldn't fall on the brother to fill the roll of the recently departed father. It might have been an innocence request but holyshit, "burning bridges"? He wouldn't tie my tie so fuck him? Guess what, his brother's father also died, maybe he could also get a break.

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He insulted me trying to learn something in 5 days while super emotional while handicapped quite a bit - keep in mind the other 3 bad fingers kind of just hang there and get in the way - it's not like I've got only 2 fingers, it's like 2.5 per hand with the other 2 fingers getting in the way because they have no range of movement and messed up jointing. Most people that notice my hands (not that many do - like the shoes comment in Shawshank) that try to ask me what's up assume I had a lawnmower accident or something, they're not in good shape.

And I'm not planning on burning bridges with him on my own - I had expected they might because I'm going to miss the funeral. (although from messages left while I was in the psych ward - it doesn't sound like it - but that was a past worry, not speaking to them til I sleep at home a night though to give them the news)

And no, it was planned as a one-time thing if he had to - if not the question I asked was "Can you, or should I buy a clip-on?" - "Buy a clip-on" would've been a perfectly polite response.

On Dabamf, WTF happened here - I get he was being a bit of a jerk to Kreugen - but he was being somewhat helpful to me, etc. This feels like Sean 2.0 with one person taking a personal vendetta too far on someone with some helpful traits and some annoying traits and making them no longer want to be part of our club. We need fewer incidents like this, not more.

(PS - Don't be shocked if my tone and posting style changes some - I really feel like the light medication and education I received while in the psych ward was very enlightening, and I do intend to let it influence my daily life to a large degree)

And I'm noticing even with no one really giving me any tasks or worries, my brain during idle times is going back to running me through the past to try to improve things or attempt to fix things that are really bad risk vs reward.

Ugh... only been out 36 hrs or so and starting to feel some backsliding. Do start with outpatient support on Wednesday though.

How does one reprogram themself to not dwell on the past and to let sleeping dogs lie?

You need to start consciously realising that you are doing it and stop yourself, it's a CBT concept. It took time for me to learn this and I can still have releapses if I'm feeling ill or if something serious goes wrong, however I've gone from multiple times a day to just a few times a year now.

I learned it from two books by this guy:
Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong eBook: Tim Cantopher: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

Vaclav_sl said:

How does one reprogram themself to not dwell on the past and to let sleeping dogs lie?

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Get involved innewthings untill you find something that your free thoughts latch on to.

Vaclav_sl said:

And I'm noticing even with no one really giving me any tasks or worries, my brain during idle times is going back to running me through the past to try to improve things or attempt to fix things that are really bad risk vs reward.

Ugh... only been out 36 hrs or so and starting to feel some backsliding. Do start with outpatient support on Wednesday though.

How does one reprogram themself to not dwell on the past and to let sleeping dogs lie?

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Like Chris mentioned, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will focus on how to change the way you think. It takes time though and getting yourself working with a therapist like you're doing is the right step to be taking.

My therapist mentioned reading this book:Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy: David D., M.D. Burns: 9780380810338: Amazon.com: Bookswhich, though I haven't finished, is remarkable in how much it feels like I am reading about myself which I assume will be similar for any other person dealing with depression as well.

Ah cool, yea you could've just said CBT fits mostly, they had us watch This Emotional Life from PBS and it covered a lot of concepts. I'll have to see if my therapist is familiar with the concept or can refer me to another that would. (Note: excellent program for understanding all the different concepts)

Reading a book on it I'm not sure of - I'll have to test some of my faves tonight, pre psych ward I couldn't even read my faves without drifting. Used to be able to cover to cover books as a kid though.

chthonic-anemos_sl said:

Get involved innewthings untill you find something that your free thoughts latch on to.

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Well, gaming and other "constant problem solving" situations do that for me - but it's just self medicating the problem rather than addressing the core issue. (And honestly turns the gaming compulsive and not really fun most times - I think I'm making addiction quotes there aren't I? Thankfully I've got no physical addictions if so)

Wow this thread turned to shit since my last visit to it last week.
I'm not white knighting oneofone as I don't know him but he always seemed like a decent guy but was going through some shit which may have effected his posting.
Sadly since I wasn't watching this thread closely due to some memories Vaclav stirred up in my past I didn't even see who 1of1 was debating with. I assume Dabamf?

Must be a way to sort this out without removing active people from the community and having people quit in disgust( if that is what happened ).
I don't know, just bummed now.

Sorry if I was bumming you out, bro. Just venting in what seems to be a (mostly) healthy place for it. (Don't feel you were blaming me, just trying to console you some)

Yesterday was better with my mind wandering into some of those destructive patterns without too much external effort, and not having any yet today - was right before my next dose of meds was due that I had the last time - but then again we had the bro-in-law and niece visiting yesterday, so it was an unusual case - so far this morning with a little insomnia I've not been drifting though.

Knock on wood, my medication (Efexor) will keep me out of that thinking pattern until I can find a therapist to train my brain to fix it permanently.