Depression
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The_Black_Log Foler
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Sounds like you're around some shitty people? Change your environment if you can.
Borzak
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I just changed locations and moved in with the wife. That's why I'm having to go out and meet people.
Also nursing a pretty bad inferiority complex. I'm not working and spend time with my wife who has a fantastic job, my sister in law and her husband. They're both semi retired now at 50.
The_Black_Log Foler
Stock Pals Senior Vice President
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Yaaaa changing locations and having to meet new people can be a bitch.
Might sound crazy but could potentially solve two problems here. Have you ever skydived? Great sport to get into to meet tons of people who instantly become like family. Never have I met so many people who became like family so fast as when I started. Also it'll give your inferiority complex a jump start. Lot to be said about conquering your fears. Not talking tandem, I mean jumping solo. Being completely serious. TJT can testify it's true as well I'm sure.
Borzak
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Dude. It's all I can do now to walk to the car and get in it to go somewhere.
And yes I skydived 27 years ago on my 21st birthday. It was OK, nothing to really to write home about for me at least. My parents bought it for me on my birthday. When I did it my mom decided to try it. She kind of felt the same way.
A team that practiced together went out first. Then I jumped. I spent a good portion of the rest of the day helping them find the team that got scattered all over the world.
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The_Black_Log Foler
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Ya sounds like maybe a psych visit for eval would be worth it. Meds could give you the kickstart you need. Have you considered seeing a counselor that does CBT? I'd say that's just as valuable and sometimes more than meds.
Borzak
Bronze Baron of the Realm
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I have a medical marijuana prescription for a while now.
It's not depression that's keeping me bound to the house. It's my other medical issues. Which is why I moved in and got married to my girlfriend that I was with for 20 years. We did the on/off live together thing when it was convenient and eventually with me not working I couldn't fly around all the time. She married me in an effort to save me, now she's having issues.
It's not depression that's keeping me bound to the house. It's my other medical issues. Which is why I moved in and got married to my girlfriend that I was with for 20 years. We did the on/off live together thing when it was convenient and eventually with me not working I couldn't fly around all the time. She married me in an effort to save me, now she's having issues.
The_Black_Log Foler
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Borzak
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Picked up some work out of the blue with a pretty random phone call to me. They thought they were calling someone else. Then asked if I could do it. Yup. Might get my mind off stuff anyway. I'll have to look I think I already have it done, done one a few years ago.
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Ossoi
Tranny Chaser
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Borzak
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I'm not really working. I can't go to the field which was where I made the most money by a large amount. I can still do some drawings. My wife makes a large factor more than I do now. Her sister and brother in law are retired and live on lake Travis. When we first went there my now wife was like "I really like this area let's look for a house here". I looked a few up for sale. Yeah babe let's buy a $12million house. She lives in Austin and has for 10 years now. I lived out of town and traveled in and out flying a lot. Now I live with her at her house in Austin.
iannis
Musty Nester
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I dunno if that's a good read on it.
It sounds like she married you because the alternatives were all some variation of "not see you as much". You gotta allow for the possibility that she just likes your goofy blonde ass.
Borzak
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Possibility. No we're pretty compatable after 20 years. I know it sounds odd for two people to be together living apart so much at times. We liked our own space. I think she's kind of concerned I'm gonna get the heebie jeebies living in Austin and bolt. I'm older than her. I think she started dating me in an effort to save me lol. I openly admit I was and am a broken person. Fits me just fine. I just always avoided people.
I picked up some work today so not gonna dwell on it now for at least a few days.
Edit, thought about it for a minute. I'm kind of concerned (not worried) she's kind of taking this facebook joke a little too serious. Now talking to people I used to know before I met her. I took 6 years off to work out of high school. Made money. Went to college and then taught while getting the MS. She's suddenly suprised I had a life before I got serious into school and didn't do much. Right now it's just a concern. We've talked about it several times. I guess she shrugged it off, thought I was full of shit, or it finally hit her or something.
I picked up some work today so not gonna dwell on it now for at least a few days.
Edit, thought about it for a minute. I'm kind of concerned (not worried) she's kind of taking this facebook joke a little too serious. Now talking to people I used to know before I met her. I took 6 years off to work out of high school. Made money. Went to college and then taught while getting the MS. She's suddenly suprised I had a life before I got serious into school and didn't do much. Right now it's just a concern. We've talked about it several times. I guess she shrugged it off, thought I was full of shit, or it finally hit her or something.
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iannis
Musty Nester
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If you're closed off with her, and I suspect that's the kind of relationship you two have (it's a valid sort, i'm not assigning any judgement) this is a way for her to see some parts of you she's been curious about but never had access to.
She's got the ring, she's gonna do a deep dive on ya.
Some women do it. I used to keep a journal intermittently. I had one girlfriend move in with me and read them. I'm like "what in the holy fuck are you wasting your time reading shit that I wrote when I was 20 years old and stoned out of my god damn senses" and she was like "God you used to be an idiot".
She's got the ring, she's gonna do a deep dive on ya.
Some women do it. I used to keep a journal intermittently. I had one girlfriend move in with me and read them. I'm like "what in the holy fuck are you wasting your time reading shit that I wrote when I was 20 years old and stoned out of my god damn senses" and she was like "God you used to be an idiot".
McQueen
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After five years, I finally went through my Dad’s emails to the point that I know the name of the person that tried to delete his Facebook less than a month after he died. I’m not sure whether I’m more or less furious, knowing the culprit, and that they didn’t bother to come forward at the time, or since. 
Borzak
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It's complicated, basically hunting a diagnoses that fits. Started with ADEM which is one time monophasic MS, then MS, But I have a "very very mild" case of MS. Lots of symptoms that have nothing to do with MS. Lot of going around in circles. Neurologist "symptoms nothing to do with MS". Other doctors "it's common with MS" rinse and repeat. The entire time it gets worse and worse.
Borzak
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We're not really closed off. But she met me when I was teaching and I really had no personal life. We've been all but married for almost 20 years. All but in name. At the time she wouldn't sign a prenup. So we just went on living together. One day several months ago she said "let's get married and I'll sign the prenup". She signed it. We got married. I changed my will to where she gets it all. I moved in with her. She had a house and she has a very good job she's not going to leave. Friends put the call out on facebook when I got married. Prank. I got emails and phone calls, and messages on facebook for a long time. Leaving a message, oh glad I caught up with you I think you're the dad and such lol.
So one day she says let's look at all the people who sent you messages on facebook. Almost all of them are people who knew me before we met. Pretty sure it will blow over. Kind of a curious thing for her to see kind of. Hopefully.
The_Black_Log Foler
Stock Pals Senior Vice President
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Ya uh that's complicated. I assume you had brain and spine MRI. Did lesions show? There's 4 types of MS generally, did the docs have a hunch about which you fit in?
Only know causes I dated a girl once with rrms.
Borzak
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75+ doctors and I can't get a 2nd opinion that matches. Under the new diagnosing guidelines that came out in 2017 I don't have MS. It's a never ending loop. Neurologist "These symptoms aren't MS or MS related". Other doctor "It's common in MS". I can't get two neurologist who work for the same hospital group and MS clinic to agree.
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The_Black_Log Foler
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Ok but did you have lesions?
Did you actually see 75+ doctors? What specialties?
Listen, I know what it's like to chase down a medical issue and get pointed different directions by docs, especially when it's related to chronic pain/neuro. I had chronic pain for over 4 years. Saw all sorts of specialist. One dude wanted to remove my first ribs and ended up being a scam. I was on neurotin, getting shots, so depressed. I'm sure I spent over 20 or 30k chasing it down WITH insurance. It was such a low point in my life. Finally I got a second opinion from an ortho (an ortho was the first doc I Saw in this mess because I thought it was shoulder related). Well, dude immediately said he thought I had SLAP tears in my shoulder, does a MRI with contrast, confirms. Long story short, after two surgeries, 2 years later, no pain, completely better. All because the first doctor I saw in this, my ortho, who had an awesome rep and did his residency as JH, didnt do a fucking MRI with contrast.......
Don't lose hope dude. It's so depressing to chase down medical crap. I'm sure it got to the point where some docs thought I was crazy. The ortho who did find it, I showed up to his office with a medical folder I custom made, scanned in all my medical documents, tests, results, organized them, over 100 pages.
Remember approach them with skepticism, take your health into your own hands.
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