kroenen
Regimen Morum
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Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
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Daidraco
Avatar of War Slayer
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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I'm so pleased I brought the depression thread around to tits. Who can be depressed with tits? Happy fun bags.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Control
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Well, it might change your plans a bit, but if you've never tried them, they're pretty nice.
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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In a striking validation of "tits are tits", she married this guy.Natalie Dormer's tits.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Another shit day. It’s pretty much all shit days at this point. Whoever said exercise helps with this shit was lying because it’s not fucking working. Nothing ever does. I don’t know what the fuck else I’m supposed to do. I’m eating better, I’m working out, I’m going to therapy, I just can’t press the magic button that makes me just have some bullshit positive outlook because there’s nothing to be positive about. I’m stuck in a shit job, paid too much for a shitty house that I’m still sharing with my shitty jobless husband, still stuck with my dumbass shitty face, still dealing with all my shitty health problems, still possed off at my shitty family who’d be better off without me. The only good things are the damn cats, which is just the road to being a shitty stereotype.
I don’t get how anyone gets out of this. Everyone makes it sound so easy. Oh just ignore reality and be a happy dumbass and pretend everything’s just fucking fine. Everything sucks but it’ll all be fixed with the power of just fucking smiling. Horseshit.
I don’t get how anyone gets out of this. Everyone makes it sound so easy. Oh just ignore reality and be a happy dumbass and pretend everything’s just fucking fine. Everything sucks but it’ll all be fixed with the power of just fucking smiling. Horseshit.
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Oblio
Utah
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There is no magic button. There is only progress that builds momentum. Like I said before, you didn't get in this rut overnight and you won't get out of it overnight either. Focus on the positive things you did today. You named two above, exercise and eating better. That is awesome. Keep doing that and in a few weeks you will feel better overall.
The living with the ex is not helping your situation at all. Hard to leave port when you are still tied up at the dock.
The living with the ex is not helping your situation at all. Hard to leave port when you are still tied up at the dock.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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It's not easy but it is simple. Considering how deep a pit you're in you're probably gonna be miserable for a while, especially with this absurd lack of self-esteem you have and the fact that you're still cohabitating with your manchild (ex?)husband. Yes exercise helps but it's not a magical cure-all, nothing is. You just keep trying to make little bits of forward progress and then one day you realize you're starting to occasionally feel happy again.
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Control
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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You've gotta look at shit like this as trending in a direction. Our lives build up a crazy amount of inertia, and no matter what we do, that takes a lot of time and effort to overcome. I'm lazier and fatter than I should be. If I spent 40 years building bad habits that made me lazy and fat, nothing I do today, this week, or this month can possibly fix that. BUT, what I can do today is stop getting lazier and fatter. I can't magic up 40 years of quality habits, but I can stop or at least slow the degradation. I can change the slope of the line.
Don't think about yourself for a second because that makes it harder. Think about fat, lazy me. If I were in your exact situation and asked you for advice, would you tell me that it's hopeless and that I should just give up? You could probably give me some simple but difficult things that you think would help me, right?
If I can eat a bit under maintenance today, I can get the tiniest bit less fat. If I do just a little bit more than yesterday, I get the tiniest bit less lazy. It's not much, but it's something. Now stretch that out to a year (or two, or five). I'm not going to hit every day, but if I do better, on average, than I did last year, then I've improved instead of declined. I'm not really in a fight against what I am now, but what I'll become if I don't change things. Do I want to be 10% fatter next year or 10% skinnier? Do I want to be able to run 10% faster or slower? 10% more good days or 10% more bad days? Either way, the time is gonna pass and there are gonna be a bunch of shitty days, so I might as well do what I can to nudge that line however I can.
Even if I don't think it'll get better sometimes, I know damned well that it can get worse.
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Aldarion
Egg Nazi
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Theres lots of good advice in this thread but I wanted to comment on this specifically.
Theres good evidence that yes, smiling actually helps you feel better. The suggestion isnt "smile so other people think you're happy". Its literally smile so you start feeling a little bit happy.
Its weird. Theres even good evidence that standing in a superman/wonder woman pose for 2 minutes a day can make a meaningful difference in your mental state.
All of this sounds super gay and retarded. Look, I don't make the rules! But I'm bringing it up because it emphasizes a fundamental point thats important here: a person's mental state is profoundly affected by their actions. Even something dumb like standing in some silly pose or faking a smile. This realization should be encouraging, because it means emotions arent something that happens to you, they're something you can affect by your actions.
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Lambourne
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Wanting to be happy and failing only makes things worse because it's another thing to be unhappy about. It's like when you can't fall asleep and you have to get up early, the more you stress over it the worse it gets and the longer sleep will elude you.
Embrace the suck, do some small task to make your environment better and at least give yourself credit for that. "I'm not happy but at least the kitchen counter is clean". Clean the trash out of your car the day after. It needs to be a small task, setting a goal and achieving is what we're trying to do here. "Clean the whole house" is too big a task and you will fail.
I recommend Mark Manson's articles, I got a lot out of them over time. This one's related to this.
Embrace the suck, do some small task to make your environment better and at least give yourself credit for that. "I'm not happy but at least the kitchen counter is clean". Clean the trash out of your car the day after. It needs to be a small task, setting a goal and achieving is what we're trying to do here. "Clean the whole house" is too big a task and you will fail.
I recommend Mark Manson's articles, I got a lot out of them over time. This one's related to this.
Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards
Trying too hard to get what you want in life—like love, respect, and happiness—often has the opposite effect: you end up lonely, dejected, and miserable. Here's why.
markmanson.net
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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I don't smile, ever. I also feel like I'm one of the more perpetually depressed people on the planet. I gave up hope on happiness a long time ago. Fuck happiness. Happiness ain't the goal.
Content. That's a far better word for what I am. Content. Things can suck, that's fine. You're never gonna be happy that things suck, but you can be content with yourself and your situation. There are a lot of things I can't change, and every time I start making some progress on shit, life has a way of kicking me square in the balls. I'm not gonna be happy. I don't aim to be happy. I just aim to accept the shit I can't change, and I try to work on the shit I can.
Be zen with shit you can't change. Keep eating right, keep exercising, and find someone to plow you in the next room until your retard ex husband moves out.
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Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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How are you content but also perpetually depressed? I mostly agree with the vibe you're trying to put across but I'm not understanding what you mean there.
I'm also aware of the distinction between happy and content, and I've been supremely content for over 15 years. Really, ever since I started breaking out of the modern mind control system and realizing how the world really works. At this point, sadness is unusual and rarely lasts more than a day, and there are plenty of moments of happiness, mostly when playing games with my friends, games with family, seeing my nephews, etc.
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