Depression

Cutlery said:

I don't smile, ever. I also feel like I'm one of the more perpetually depressed people on the planet. I gave up hope on happiness a long time ago. Fuck happiness. Happiness ain't the goal.

Content. That's a far better word for what I am. Content. Things can suck, that's fine. You're never gonna be happy that things suck, but you can be content with yourself and your situation. There are a lot of things I can't change, and every time I start making some progress on shit, life has a way of kicking me square in the balls. I'm not gonna be happy. I don't aim to be happy. I just aim to accept the shit I can't change, and I try to work on the shit I can.

Be zen with shit you can't change. Keep eating right, keep exercising, and find someone to plow you in the next room until your retard ex husband moves out.

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Man I didn't want to be crass but I feel like a nice toe curler or two would have a dramatically positive effect on her mood.

Cutlery said:

I don't smile, ever. I also feel like I'm one of the more perpetually depressed people on the planet. I gave up hope on happiness a long time ago. Fuck happiness. Happiness ain't the goal.

Content. That's a far better word for what I am. Content. Things can suck, that's fine. You're never gonna be happy that things suck, but you can be content with yourself and your situation. There are a lot of things I can't change, and every time I start making some progress on shit, life has a way of kicking me square in the balls. I'm not gonna be happy. I don't aim to be happy. I just aim to accept the shit I can't change, and I try to work on the shit I can.

Be zen with shit you can't change. Keep eating right, keep exercising, and find someone to plow you in the next room until your retard ex husband moves out.

Click to expand...

Yeah, happiness (or at least, that being the goal or way your life is judged) has always seemed like a weird way to look at things. It's a nebulous, fleeting emotion, for me at least. Am I happy? Not particularly, but I'm not particularly unhappy either. It's like asking if a game is fun and having that be your sole barometer for what a good game is. I played a ton of eq, that must mean it's the most fun game ever, right? Absolutely not, at least by ratio or average. Possibly if you just look at the peaks, but doing it that way, it's also the most unfun game ever.

I think satisfaction is a better metric, though even then it's still a scale. Imo, satisfaction is more about progress, and that's something you can take direct action on. Am I satisfied enough with how I performed today? Well, if possible, I can do a little more, or I can decide that I don't want to do more, in which case, I'm apparently satisfied enough after all. If more is not possible, I can try to improve tomorrow. Even if I'll never be satisfied with the absolute number, I can look at the progress, or at least the effort, and think "that was a day well spent". And tbh, a lot of days aren't well spent, but that's entirely my own fault and entirely within my power to change. I can't say the same about happiness. Having happiness be your guide would be like basing your self-worth on whether or not it's raining.

Koushirou said:

Another shit day. It’s pretty much all shit days at this point. Whoever said exercise helps with this shit was lying because it’s not fucking working. Nothing ever does. I don’t know what the fuck else I’m supposed to do. I’m eating better, I’m working out, I’m going to therapy, I just can’t press the magic button that makes me just have some bullshit positive outlook because there’s nothing to be positive about. I’m stuck in a shit job, paid too much for a shitty house that I’m still sharing with my shitty jobless husband, still stuck with my dumbass shitty face, still dealing with all my shitty health problems, still possed off at my shitty family who’d be better off without me. The only good things are the damn cats, which is just the road to being a shitty stereotype.

I don’t get how anyone gets out of this. Everyone makes it sound so easy. Oh just ignore reality and be a happy dumbass and pretend everything’s just fucking fine. Everything sucks but it’ll all be fixed with the power of just fucking smiling. Horseshit.

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Let me make one small, seemingly insignificant suggestion. Every single morning, make your bed. Seems stupid? Doesn't matter if you accomplish anything else all day, you accomplished that. Your bed is made, and you can be pleased about that. It's an accomplishment. It's one accomplishment to lead to more. This actually helped me. My wife always made the bed. I do it now every day. And it feels good every time.

lurkingdirk said:

Let me make one small, seemingly insignificant suggestion. Every single morning, make your bed. Seems stupid? Doesn't matter if you accomplish anything else all day, you accomplished that. Your bed is made, and you can be pleased about that. It's an accomplishment. It's one accomplishment to lead to more. This actually helped me. My wife always made the bed. I do it now every day. And it feels good every time.

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So is she then more depressed, given a zero sum? <troll dance.gif> But yeah, that's a good start.