moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Depends on the product. Ozempic is like that. 1 shot per week.The shots aren't directly into the bloodstream. They are just under the skin and sre slowly released over time.
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Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
- Start date
Go to the Highlands Festival. Remind yourself that life is enjoyable and worth living.
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Hateyou
Not Great, Not Terrible
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Agree. Go to the therapy session or whatever later. Going to things you love is a form of therapy, enjoying something.
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Sanrith Descartes
Its all the Joos' fault. Am I doing this right?
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Assuming you like animals (and what sane person doesn't), find an animal shelter and go donate your time. I can't think of more things better for your mental health than being around animals. Unconditional affection is A+
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Hateyou
Not Great, Not Terrible
- 18,333
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Just make sure it’s a no kill. I did some time at a kill one and I still remember the horror of holding puppies down to get their injections. Tail wagging til the end
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Burren
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Please delete this post, for all our sakes.Just make sure it’s a no kill. I did some time at a kill one and I still remember the horror of holding puppies down to get their injections. Tail wagging til the end
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Hateyou
Not Great, Not Terrible
- 18,333
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I know man. That shit is burned into my brain and it was almost 30 years ago. Wish I could delete it.
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 7,708
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Just make sure it’s a no kill. I did some time at a kill one and I still remember the horror of holding puppies down to get their injections. Tail wagging til the end
Great, now I need some anti depressants again
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 7,708
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I'm just gonna throw this out there after the last couple posts.
I don't think it's possible to be depressed with a dog. The dog cares about you unconditionally. The dog knows your mental state isnt great (don't ask me how, but they fucking know. When I'm sick, the dogs never leave the bedroom. When I'm sad, they bring me toys. It would cheer them up, so they figure it must cheer me up). The dog is a living being that requires food and care and attention. It forces you to keep a schedule - the dog doesn't care that it's Saturday and you want to sleep in. Breakfast is at 630 sharp. Petting dogs seems to make you happier than it makes them. They've got floppy ears that are super soft to play with. If you're not a piece of shit owner, you know your dog needs to be walked, so it forces you outside, and vitamin D and fresh air and exercise are all main components of not being depressed.
And the dog is happy to see you every day when you come home. It's never mad at you. It never bitches at you for not doing the dishes. And it will listen to you vent all night long.
I was tired as fuck, and I'm stressed as fuck with shit going on with my homeowners insurance, and I fucked up my elbow which was helping neither of those problems, and the dog still comes up to me and stays spastic until I take her on a walk. Which calms her down and calms me down.
Can't recommend it enough. But if you get a working dog, buy a fucking vest and weight it down. You'll be happy you did.
I don't think it's possible to be depressed with a dog. The dog cares about you unconditionally. The dog knows your mental state isnt great (don't ask me how, but they fucking know. When I'm sick, the dogs never leave the bedroom. When I'm sad, they bring me toys. It would cheer them up, so they figure it must cheer me up). The dog is a living being that requires food and care and attention. It forces you to keep a schedule - the dog doesn't care that it's Saturday and you want to sleep in. Breakfast is at 630 sharp. Petting dogs seems to make you happier than it makes them. They've got floppy ears that are super soft to play with. If you're not a piece of shit owner, you know your dog needs to be walked, so it forces you outside, and vitamin D and fresh air and exercise are all main components of not being depressed.
And the dog is happy to see you every day when you come home. It's never mad at you. It never bitches at you for not doing the dishes. And it will listen to you vent all night long.
I was tired as fuck, and I'm stressed as fuck with shit going on with my homeowners insurance, and I fucked up my elbow which was helping neither of those problems, and the dog still comes up to me and stays spastic until I take her on a walk. Which calms her down and calms me down.
Can't recommend it enough. But if you get a working dog, buy a fucking vest and weight it down. You'll be happy you did.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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All my dogs have passed away and I miss them terribly. I’ll still choke up thinking about my first dog, Furlough. I had brought him to the park I mentioned going to last week when I got broken up with years ago. I put together a little basket of hard boiled eggs, some deli meats, and some treats and we sat overlooking muddy creek falls eating lunch together and then just sitting on the rocks next to the stream there. I should have taken him there more and I’d kill to be able to go with him again. I’ve wanted a dog again, but I was waiting to get a fenced in yard for them but life’s too variable right now for me to feel comfortable getting another pet.
My cats do drive me nuts sometimes but they’re super loving as well and will come over to brush and try to snuggle when I’m in a bad mood. Also there’s nothing quite as toasty as Arya when she demands to get under the covers with me and be my little spoon. Girl is a goddamn furnace but a very comfy one.
My cats do drive me nuts sometimes but they’re super loving as well and will come over to brush and try to snuggle when I’m in a bad mood. Also there’s nothing quite as toasty as Arya when she demands to get under the covers with me and be my little spoon. Girl is a goddamn furnace but a very comfy one.
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ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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No idea if this is in your wheelhouse, but it's pretty applicable to this thread in general and particularly the cat-affiliated.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Still just getting by day to day, but still feeling pretty dumpy. Went to the Highland Festival with my parents for a bit, which was nice, but I do kind of feel like a bit of a loser being a lone grown ass adult hanging out with my parents. Had tried to get info on that support group and the organizer said they'd get back to me with a location and time, but they never did. Guess I'll try again with that next month or just try to go to one of the online ones my therapist found for me.
One of my friends blocked me the other day. Was feeling pretty fucking awful so I reached out to him for help. When he finally got back to me, I told him I just needed to talk or vent or hang out or anything really. I felt like I basically put 99% of the effort into initiating with all my friends and it just makes me feel like crap most of the time when most everyone just ignores me when I reach out and ask how peoples' day was or how they're doing etc. It seems like I'm just bothering everyone, etc. Despite me responding to him immediately, after 45min or so he still hadn't said anything and I just got angry and said I was going to bed since apparently I was bothering him, too. Well, he responded quick as hell to that, at least. Told me I was abusive and to fuck off since I apparently don't care about him. This is someone I would speak to pretty much every other day at least. At some point he dropped off the face of the earth for a couple of months, and the entire time I would still message him asking how he was doing, hoping things were okay, and eventually just getting worried that he'd dropped dead since I knew he had health issues. He eventually showed up again after having some kind of "fugue" or something, but he never seemed the same. He'd generally not respond to me for days or weeks, and if he did it was just with a gif or song, etc. The rare times I could get a conversation out of him, he'd disappear in the middle of it. But anyway, point it accusing me of not caring about him was fucking bullshit. Had never seen him angry like that before. I did try to apologize, since I know I wasn't exactly doing my best, but he didn't want to hear it and just blocked me. My fault, I guess. It's kind of been a repeating pattern I've had of finding new friends, maybe lasting around a year or two and then I piss them off in some way and they cut me off. I then go have to find new ones again, rinse and repeat. The common denominator is me, so obviously it's a problem with me. It's just discouraging as shit having it happen over and over again and just contributes to the self-hate.
House appraiser came the other day, so just waiting on the verdict there. No matter how much I end up having to pay the ex, I have no idea how I'm going to afford it. No luck with a job, yet. I talked to my closest coworker who got laid off same time I did. He's been submitting something like 15-20 applications a week and hasn't had a single call back yet, and his resume's a shitload better than mine is. Makes me feel like not even trying anymore since if he can't get anything, I'll probably be fucked. I've got a little bit of unemployment left, but past that I have no idea what I'm going to do. About to be out of my blood thinners again, too, and can't afford them without the Medicaid ($600/mo for this shit). Already got the free trial 30 day shit they offer, so can't do that again.
Haven't really had any positives lately to balance out all the negative. My walking pad gave out, so I haven't been able to walk during raids. My weight loss has pretty much come to a halt the past 2 months or so, which is also just discouraging. Was within a few pounds of my second big goal of getting down to 180, but even if I did hit that, I'm still at harpoon-level land-whale weight. If just losing the walking is causing me to stall out already, it seems like trying to maintain something lower is going to be miserable. Did end up buying another pad, but feels pretty bad to do so since I'm so tight on money, but I don't want to lose all my progress. Still going to the gym, regardless, but despite going regularly, haven't had any kind of social interaction with the other regulars I see there, but I guess that's not the right place for it. I did go out today to the pinball bar nearby. Sat at the bar for a little, got some food, then played for about an hour. Didn't manage to talk to anyone there, either, though. I checked Meetup.com to see what was around me. In the next few weeks all there is is a nature hike/bird watching thing, women's group vision drumming (what the fuck?), and a real estate investor circle jerk meeting, so I guess I'm gonna go see some ducks or something next weekend.
The hardest shit has been trying to figure out how to get over the guy I like. I was holding onto some small bit of hope that maybe once my divorce and shit was all done and behind that maybe he would open up, but I don't think it's going to happen. He'd been damn near all I've been able to think about for almost a year now. On top of that, he's the closest friend I do have and in general he's treated me better than any other friend or SO I've ever had. I've never felt anything remotely close to how I feel about him, not even for the ex-husband early on. Just fucking sucks and I don't really know what to do about it. My mood tends to be heavily dependent on whether or not I've talked to him that day, which obviously isn't ideal. All comes back to the whole can't rely on others for validation stuff, but easier said than done.
So yeah, just dragging along still. Saying the dumb little mantra of "I'm a good person and I'm going to accomplish something today" that my dad told me to say to the mirror everyday. Have tried to at least do one productive thing a day (finally mowed the lawn after like 4 months of not, woo). IDK, I'm trying.
One of my friends blocked me the other day. Was feeling pretty fucking awful so I reached out to him for help. When he finally got back to me, I told him I just needed to talk or vent or hang out or anything really. I felt like I basically put 99% of the effort into initiating with all my friends and it just makes me feel like crap most of the time when most everyone just ignores me when I reach out and ask how peoples' day was or how they're doing etc. It seems like I'm just bothering everyone, etc. Despite me responding to him immediately, after 45min or so he still hadn't said anything and I just got angry and said I was going to bed since apparently I was bothering him, too. Well, he responded quick as hell to that, at least. Told me I was abusive and to fuck off since I apparently don't care about him. This is someone I would speak to pretty much every other day at least. At some point he dropped off the face of the earth for a couple of months, and the entire time I would still message him asking how he was doing, hoping things were okay, and eventually just getting worried that he'd dropped dead since I knew he had health issues. He eventually showed up again after having some kind of "fugue" or something, but he never seemed the same. He'd generally not respond to me for days or weeks, and if he did it was just with a gif or song, etc. The rare times I could get a conversation out of him, he'd disappear in the middle of it. But anyway, point it accusing me of not caring about him was fucking bullshit. Had never seen him angry like that before. I did try to apologize, since I know I wasn't exactly doing my best, but he didn't want to hear it and just blocked me. My fault, I guess. It's kind of been a repeating pattern I've had of finding new friends, maybe lasting around a year or two and then I piss them off in some way and they cut me off. I then go have to find new ones again, rinse and repeat. The common denominator is me, so obviously it's a problem with me. It's just discouraging as shit having it happen over and over again and just contributes to the self-hate.
House appraiser came the other day, so just waiting on the verdict there. No matter how much I end up having to pay the ex, I have no idea how I'm going to afford it. No luck with a job, yet. I talked to my closest coworker who got laid off same time I did. He's been submitting something like 15-20 applications a week and hasn't had a single call back yet, and his resume's a shitload better than mine is. Makes me feel like not even trying anymore since if he can't get anything, I'll probably be fucked. I've got a little bit of unemployment left, but past that I have no idea what I'm going to do. About to be out of my blood thinners again, too, and can't afford them without the Medicaid ($600/mo for this shit). Already got the free trial 30 day shit they offer, so can't do that again.
Haven't really had any positives lately to balance out all the negative. My walking pad gave out, so I haven't been able to walk during raids. My weight loss has pretty much come to a halt the past 2 months or so, which is also just discouraging. Was within a few pounds of my second big goal of getting down to 180, but even if I did hit that, I'm still at harpoon-level land-whale weight. If just losing the walking is causing me to stall out already, it seems like trying to maintain something lower is going to be miserable. Did end up buying another pad, but feels pretty bad to do so since I'm so tight on money, but I don't want to lose all my progress. Still going to the gym, regardless, but despite going regularly, haven't had any kind of social interaction with the other regulars I see there, but I guess that's not the right place for it. I did go out today to the pinball bar nearby. Sat at the bar for a little, got some food, then played for about an hour. Didn't manage to talk to anyone there, either, though. I checked Meetup.com to see what was around me. In the next few weeks all there is is a nature hike/bird watching thing, women's group vision drumming (what the fuck?), and a real estate investor circle jerk meeting, so I guess I'm gonna go see some ducks or something next weekend.
The hardest shit has been trying to figure out how to get over the guy I like. I was holding onto some small bit of hope that maybe once my divorce and shit was all done and behind that maybe he would open up, but I don't think it's going to happen. He'd been damn near all I've been able to think about for almost a year now. On top of that, he's the closest friend I do have and in general he's treated me better than any other friend or SO I've ever had. I've never felt anything remotely close to how I feel about him, not even for the ex-husband early on. Just fucking sucks and I don't really know what to do about it. My mood tends to be heavily dependent on whether or not I've talked to him that day, which obviously isn't ideal. All comes back to the whole can't rely on others for validation stuff, but easier said than done.
So yeah, just dragging along still. Saying the dumb little mantra of "I'm a good person and I'm going to accomplish something today" that my dad told me to say to the mirror everyday. Have tried to at least do one productive thing a day (finally mowed the lawn after like 4 months of not, woo). IDK, I'm trying.
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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It is though.
I'm getting another dose tomorrow, I can scan the exact dosage and what's in it and post it right here.
It's a shot, and it lasts around four weeks, taking about two weeks to peak. Also, given this is part of a medical study, it might be something new.
Twice, not once but twice, I've tried to save animals, one that was caught in a trap and one that was injured. Both times I failed at it. That's burned into my brain too.
On the bright side, I did succeed in getting a cat out of a tree. Was very high up (I'm going to estimate without hyperbole that it was about 40 feet up) with no apparent way down and there was a storm rolling in. At first I thought there was nothing I could do, so I left it alone, but I checked back throughout the evening and it was still way up there, clearly stuck, with the storm closing in. He was so high up in this tree that the tree was actively swaying up there from the wind and it didn't look good.
So finally with the storm about to hit, I got the tallest ladder I could find, got a friend to dial 911 if I fell (though we both knew I'd probably just fuckin' die if that happened) and climbed up there and got him. Cat was tricky to dislodge from the tree because he was hanging onto it for dear life, and I had to get him to let go while also not getting my face clawed. Stuffed him into a backpack and started climbing down, which was a lot harder than climbing up. Rainstorm hit just as I was finishing the descent. So I'll always have that one. Cat ended up living with me for a week or so and was stuck to me like glue the entire time, way friendlier than any actual pet I've had, until the local PD found the owner and it was this little kid a few streets over who'd accidentally let the cat out. How he got 40 feet in the air is beyond me.
Lambourne
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Think you've got it right at the end there, it's needing validation from others that's getting in your way. Like wanting to get a response from the first friend you mentioned and getting passive aggressive when he doesn't respond. It's not that you're a bad person, it's neediness taking the wheel and grasping at people, nobody wants to deal with that because it's just uncomfortable.
That dude you like might see it too, maybe he still likes you but he might be afraid you're going to latch onto him like drowning person to a lifesaver and stall out any progress. Nobody wants to be responsible for another person's mood and mental well-being, it's exhausting and any relationship (friendly or intimate) built on that is built on sand.
You get rid of neediness by building up your self confidence. Work on yourself, there's going to be ups and downs but it will work over time. Stacking small wins is the way. Mowing the lawn is good, clean the kitchen, cook a proper meal instead of a bag of McSlop, etc.
I may have linked this before but I really like Mark Manson's writings on neediness, because he used to be knee deep in it himself. It's written towards needy men that can't get a girlfriend but much of it will apply to anyone.
How to Find “The One”
Finding "the one" is simpler than you think, and I've laid it all out for you in this free article. Get reading.
markmanson.net
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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I hang out with my dad as much as I can. In a couple hours we are flying to Florida to see my sister and her family. Beyond that I have only a couple actual friends, who I make a point to go get breakfast and talk with a few times a year. They have full lives with their wives and kids and such.
You need friends that aren't just online. There are people online, but not anyone you will ever be able to be truly close with. That takes proximity to be able to do things in the real world. Even anything beyond old acquaintances is just fake and distorted if it is maintained via social media. That's something people have a hard time seeing and correcting. My parents started a church in their 20s, and ran it until they retired. They thought they were staying in touch and maintaining their relationships with all their friends when they moved away. They are struggling with the reality of it. But they are in their 70s now, and it won't matter soon enough.
Your online 'friend' probably wanted more than just friendship from you at some point. That said, if he had an episode where he was in a fugue state / dissociative fugue, he needs to get help. I spent several years there, and whether it was the cause or just a symptom, I was spiraling destructively in bipolar episodes, and was half a step from suicide during the depressive phases.
Have fun on the hike. Make a point to meet actual people in your area. Seriously, find a good church just for the social groups.
How many resumes are you getting out? You are going to have a different experience from him because you have a vagina. Not a diss. Not a lie. That's just a reality still in HR. Women who aren't actively destructive to high tech teams get a free pass, because the laws are still structured that way. If you are able to pull your weight you will get super boosted on job advancements as well. It's an advantage you have, so use it.
Again, if you seriously don't think you will get another job soon, sell the house and move back in with your parents. It will be an adjustment, but unless they are shitty human beings any stigma you associate with that is just conditioning that serves no purpose. Many cultures have had, and some still have, great success with multigenerational homes.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I had talked to my parents again about moving in with them when they were up here. They seemed super gung-ho about it, but then once I asked about it again, they kind of backed off on it, wanting me to wait it out and see if I feel better after a few months and also concerned about me having too many big life changes all in a row, and not wanting me to get rid of my house. To me it just kind of feels like they were being nice but weren’t serious about it, so now I definitely feel like I’d just be imposing on them. But they did at least invite me to go with them on their yearly week to NC, so going to try and do that this year with them if I can get a cat sitter.
Lambourne
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Seems like they're just offering a safety net but want you to try and rebuild your life on your own first. Sounds like a good idea really.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 27,534
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Decide what you want to do, and talk to them about it. Be open and direct about your finances and job search. If you do want to move in with them, or think it may be needed, then say it directly. If you are running out of money, say that too. You don't want to wait and try to sell at that point, because it might take a long time.
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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I'd also be afraid of my kids moving back in with me just because I'd be afraid they'd feel like a failure if they did it, even if I would totally enjoy having them there. There's always a lot of complicated reasons people act the way they do, don't always assume it's the worst reason.
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