Does Size Matter

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Skurd_foh

shitlord
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0
tikkus said:
Back when I first started having sex and had to focus really hard to not blow my load, I used to think of EverQuest. I played a cleric so I just envisioned a Vindi CH-chain.
oh god, sorry for the late quote but this is just pure gold, thank you for the big burst of laugh
 

The Dauntless One

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,159
137
Alamando said:
Hey baby, I have three nuts.

Wait, what?
Talking about nuts, when I was back in high school, some dude a year or two younger than me got his nuts crushed while moutain biking. I bursted out in laughter while ppl were like shit man that sucks.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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0
Why do people find nut-shots so funny? Girls don"t really have much reaction, but guys either laugh hysterically or feel more compassion for the victim than they have any other time in their lives. I laugh if it is a minor drop-to-your-knees-for-2-minutes shot, but if it is severe, I am almost overwhelmed with grief for the person.
 

The Dauntless One

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,159
137
Dabamf said:
Why do people find nut-shots so funny? Girls don"t really have much reaction, but guys either laugh hysterically or feel more compassion for the victim than they have any other time in their lives. I laugh if it is a minor drop-to-your-knees-for-2-minutes shot, but if it is severe, I am almost overwhelmed with grief for the person.
If someone got sledgehammered out of nowhere in the nuts I would feel sorry for him. If someone crush their nuts doing sport activities I laugh because he didn"t wear a cup.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Who the hell but hardcore mountain bikers would think to wear a cup? Maybe he was some sort of racer, but shit if I"m going to the mountains for the weekend and thinking of doing some biking, my first thought isn"t "oh shit where"s my cup?"

That said, depending on how bad the damage was, it could be funny. I mean some temporary pain at someone else"s expense is ALWAYS funny. But if a surgical fix is involved, well that"s not cool. I have a lot of empathy for that kind of damage, as I myself once had a left nut the size of a goddamn tennisball due to a hernia.

I also was nailed in the nuts by a teammate in Lacrosse intentionally, because we didn"t get along and he knew I didn"t wear a cup. That hurt, a lot. But I still didn"t wear a cup afterwards, bugged the shit out of me when I ran.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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0
I used to play rec ice hockey and didn"t wear a cup the first few games out of laziness to buy one. Then one guy told me how his cup cracked once after taking a slapshot to the nuts. Needless to say I owned a cup afterwards.

When I"d block shots I"d always cover my nuts. Was a really, really dumb thing not to wear a cup in hockey of all sports. Probably more essential than even football. The risk is lower, but if you take a square shot down there, you are probably guaranteed to lose that testicle.
 

Schatze_foh

shitlord
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Rugby you don"t wear a cup. Better to be curled up in the fetal position vomiting than have your junk ripped off. If you wear a cup, you know you"re playing a sport for pussies. Or I guess one involving sharp blades (hockey).

Self-reported sizes are always wrong. Comparing self-report versus actual measurement there"s a huge difference in average. Self report you"ll get 6+ average length, actual study you"ll get lower end of the 5-6 range, like 5 and change.

Fun note, a guy when meeting a girl will look at her face then go down her body then up to her face. A girl, when meeting a guy, her eyes will go straight to your groin then up. Guys take so much shit for talking to chests, but chicks are just as bad in some ways in regards to your willy. If you pay attention (e.g. you"re not staring at your chest) you can see them doing it. And never, ever will they admit it.
 

brekk

Dancing Dino Superstar
<Bronze Donator>
2,191
1,746
True Story:

A kid down the hall from a friend of mine in his dorm, called him at 8am on a saturday saying, "take me to the hospital," my friend ran down to his room, and the kid could barely walk, he was in obscene amounts of pain. They go the emergency room and find out similar to how the ambilical cord can wrap around a baby, one of his balls had wrapped around the other one and strangled it. they had to go in an perform surgery to untangle em.
 

Kilivek2.0_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
Who the hell but hardcore mountain bikers would think to wear a cup? Maybe he was some sort of racer, but shit if I"m going to the mountains for the weekend and thinking of doing some biking, my first thought isn"t "oh shit where"s my cup?"

That said, depending on how bad the damage was, it could be funny. I mean some temporary pain at someone else"s expense is ALWAYS funny. But if a surgical fix is involved, well that"s not cool. I have a lot of empathy for that kind of damage, as I myself once had a left nut the size of a goddamn tennisball due to a hernia.

I also was nailed in the nuts by a teammate in Lacrosse intentionally, because we didn"t get along and he knew I didn"t wear a cup. That hurt, a lot. But I still didn"t wear a cup afterwards, bugged the shit out of me when I ran.
there"s no story about how you hit that guy with a bus or anything?

pussy.
 

Menoz_foh

shitlord
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brekk said:
True Story:

A kid down the hall from a friend of mine in his dorm, called him at 8am on a saturday saying, "take me to the hospital," my friend ran down to his room, and the kid could barely walk, he was in obscene amounts of pain. They go the emergency room and find out similar to how the ambilical cord can wrap around a baby, one of his balls had wrapped around the other one and strangled it. they had to go in an perform surgery to untangle em.
I had this happen to a roomate of mine. I think it was called testicular torsion maybe? Said it was the most intense pain of his life.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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0
i would really contemplate suicide there...i cant imagine that kind of pain lasting more than 1 minute, much less a couple hours
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Yeah the tubes that connect to your nuts can do all sorts of fun things. After my hernia operation, the one to my left nut must be all tangled or knotted, because it rides much higher than it did before. I guess that"s why we have two?

there"s no story about how you hit that guy with a bus or anything?
I was too busy clutching my balls on the ground to do much. When I was able to get up, I cross checked him in the throat, pulled his helmet off and gave as many shots as I could before the coaches pulled us apart. Happy?
 

Kilivek2.0_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
Yeah the tubes that connect to your nuts can do all sorts of fun things. After my hernia operation, the one to my left nut must be all tangled or knotted, because it rides much higher than it did before. I guess that"s why we have two?



I was too busy clutching my balls on the ground to do much. When I was able to get up, I cross checked him in the throat, pulled his helmet off and gave as many shots as I could before the coaches pulled us apart. Happy?
If he isn"t dead, you"re a fag.