Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

Evernothing

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#1
While eating her out and finger blasting her:
"How did you get so good at that? Must be all the video game practice."
"You have moves like Ryu." "Beat me Ryu." (Had to stop because I was laughing so hard at that one.)


While laying in bed afterwards:
"I really like you and I don't want to, I'm a strong independent black woman." (She's not black.)

 
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bleedat

Knight of the Realm
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#2
what's a girl
 

Hoss

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#4
I usually can't understand them on account of all the screaming and the blood being diverted to my penis. Also, the pepper spray. You wouldn't think pepper spray would affect your hearing, but it does.
 

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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#7
"I have herpes."
 

Gavinmad

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#9
I'll do what you want just put the gun down.
 

tyen

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#10
i went to KFC with this chick in college. Afterwards she sucked my dick and then threw up on me.
 

trex

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#14
"I've never had a girlfriend before. ...and up until this night I've never had sex before either." I was 20 at the time.

"I'm really big, like I'm not sure I'm going to fit inside of you". What a d bag, right? Who says that about themselves?

The worst though. The omg I don't even want to do this anymore: "I need to go wipe" and I obviously knew guys don't need to wipe the front...
 

Soygen

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#15
"I'm really big, like I'm not sure I'm going to fit inside of you". What a d bag, right? Who says that about themselves?
So did he fit?
 

trex

Queen Bee
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#16
Hardly. I'm sure my cervix is permanently damaged and I got a weird feeling in my stomach like it was going to come out my mouth. Still, major loser thing to say.
 

Soygen

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#17
Sounds like a fine gentleman warning m'lady of the incoming pussy beating.
 
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#18
Was chatting to this chick who was telling me how amazing her double D tits were. Getting frisky in bed when she takes her top off for the big titty drop.... except they were sad deflated B cups at best. Then I noticed I was about to have sex with an 8 feet tall Donkey from the Paelolithic era so I made some excuse about needing to wipe my cock and noped the fuck out of the bathroom window.
 

trex

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#19
Was chatting to this chick who was telling me how amazing her double D tits were. Getting frisky in bed when she takes her top off for the big titty drop.... except they were sad deflated B cups at best. Then I noticed I was about to have sex with an 8 feet tall Donkey from the Paelolithic era so I made some excuse about needing to wipe my cock and noped the fuck out of the bathroom window.
Say hi to your mom for me :cool: