Girlfriend wants to move in, how much should she pay?

Half, how is this a question? Unless you're in some kind of ridiculous sugar daddy situation it isn't up for debate.

The only reason I would ask her to pay is to keep roommates happy. Since you dont have any, I would say if she cooks and cleans, we square.

My girlfriend makes about 40% more than me, but we split everything down the middle (I pay a little more for food since I eat more). However, we also bought our apartment together and are both on the mortgage.

If I were you I would probably figure out fair market value for renting a room in a comparable house and then ask for 10% or 20% less than that price. After that you split all actual bills (utilities, internet, etc) down the middle. Food is a little trickier as it really depends on what/how much you eat.

Ronne_sl said:

Half, how is this a question? Unless you're in some kind of ridiculous sugar daddy situation it isn't up for debate.

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This. Otherwise who's to say she's not just LOOKING for a sugar daddy situation?

Remit_sl said:

The only reason I would ask her to pay is to keep roommates happy. Since you dont have any, I would say if she cooks and cleans, we square.

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Fuck that. As for the half thing, figure out what the reasonable rent for a place similar to yours is, then divide that by 2. Unless it's more than the mortgage, then just divide the mortgage by 2. If she cries about it being unfair run for the hills.

Remit_sl said:

The only reason I would ask her to pay is to keep roommates happy. Since you dont have any, I would say if she cooks and cleans, we square.

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I would honestly disagree, this is personal but I don't see exchanging chores for money (assuming they both work) as a long term arrangement. In general it doesn't feel fair.

Denaut_sl said:

I would honestly disagree, this is personal but I don't see exchanging chores for money (assuming they both work) as a long term arrangement. In general it doesn't feel fair.

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Guess I'm old school. Id say give her the option then of half or cook/clean.

Does she swallow? I'd take that into account.

Half the mortgage less whatever equity you accrue each month. From an accounting standpoint it is fairly clear cut, there's no way she should be paying off your place for you. To do it properly, you would actually look at the present value of the average equity gain over the lifetime of the property.

Alternately, you could look at the estimated asset's value at the end of the mortgage less present value of the payment stream and assess a monthly cost based on that. This gets considerably more tricky with risk assessment (and reduction of risk based on a second payee) but honestly, that should be baked into the mortgage cost already.

Depends on how great things are going and where you plan to have them going. Did you guys discuss any of this before she moved in or has she mentioned her expectations? I'm guessing no.

Ask her what she thinks, would be my advice. If things are going great this shouldn't be an awkward conversation. If it is awkward conversation, she probably shouldn't be moving in at all. I would also recommend talking about what happens if things DO go south. Having exit plans now saves a lot of pain for both parties later.

I'm on board with the "equivalent of renting a room" + 1/2 bills idea. Unless special circumstances are in play, this seems fair and equitable.

Tuco_sl said:

Tough question, we really can't give you a good answer without knowing a lot more about your relationship.

If she doesn't have a good job she shouldn't pay shit.

If she has a good job I wouldn't charge her half since it's a mortgage. I'd charge what I would charge to rent out a room in the house. Perhaps around $400 a month.

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Man I just really don't agree with that "If she doesn't have a good job she shouldn't pay" bit. Would she get free rent from a landlord in a normal renter scenario just because she doesn't have a good job? She could get government subsidies like section 8 but unless she's a total deadbeat she'd still be paying a decent amount.

Shit hit the fan when my last girlfriend moved in. I was charging her $350 a month flat to live with me in my 3 bedroom 1100sq ft apartment. I own a duplex and live on the top floor. Total mortgage was $2239 a month and I get $1500 for the bottom floor and I thought it was more than fair to charge her less than half the remaining mortgage payment. She agreed it was completely fair. One month later she's complaining she shouldn't have to pay anything because I make X amount more than her and it's unfair because now she can't afford to go on vacation to Myrtle Beach. We tried to come up with an equitable solution but she eventually admitted she just wanted to be taken care of for the rest of her life. That was the end of that relationship.

I tried to say OK well then how about you take care of the place (cook, clean, etc). I would not recommend even mentioning something like that because she flew off the handle claiming I was a misogynist after that one. Most women take that kinda shit very personally.

Although I guess it's different for everyone. Some people are nurturers and caregivers and that works for them. I am not one of those people. I can't stand it when women want all the benefits of equal rights with none of the responsibility.

I still say dont charge her. If she is a piece of shit and doesnt pull her own weight, or chip in because she feels its the right thing to do, better to know now.

Remit_sl said:

I still say dont charge her. If she is a piece of shit and doesnt pull her own weight, or chip in because she feels its the right thing to do, better to know now.

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Sounds like a recipe for disaster. If there are no expectations or terms set before moving in she's gonna claim you're blindsiding her once you get sick of it.

Khane_sl said:

Sounds like a recipe for disaster. If there are no expectations or terms set before moving in she's gonna claim you're blindsiding her once you get sick of it.

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If she is a piece of shit. My wife always busted her ass when we were dating to find a good job, pay for things she could afford, cook, and help out. I have never felt that things were unbalanced. Now she just stays at home, and I would still say she contributes more than I do to the house.