I"m the English major, not her. She"s a subscriber to the Sharmai school of thought while pregnant - not thinking.
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Have you been taking hole digging lessons from Etoille?Sharmai said:
edit: I should probably leave this lie just because it"ll turn into another 8 pages of retardation, but do you honestly expect any of us to believe your fucking meltdown was just you trolling? I mean really? Do you think we"re remotely as retarded as you are? You typed up numerous essays with fucked up, half retarded logic trying to defend yourself, and then said everyone was just getting personal and you were done trying to convince us why what you were up to is okay.
I mean, fuck, what the hell is wrong with you?
Fuck, Sharmai"s RL pic was modded out. Don"t really see why. Oh well, no photoshopped "Tell them you were just kidding, snooky-bear" chat bubbles for his girlfriend.
Not sure this counts since we"re still together, but I could use some advice!
Bit about me, I had a screwed up childhood, it left me really emotionally closed off. Talking to people IRL was just to much for me, so I ended up spending a lot of time online. I talked to a lot of girls online. Thousands, easily, and I got pretty good at that. I started talking to a few on the phone when I was ~14. Had a few girlfriends (I"d meet them in person, then ask them to be etc), none of them ever worked out long term.
Then this one girl... was just perfect. She"s very smart, absolutely gorgeous, we have a lot of the same interests (except fiction, she can"t stand reading any type of fiction which I think is just... odd). We met in person in 2004, over Christmas, and I lost my virginity to her. Again in March "05 when I asked her to be my GF. Moved in together August "05 and we"ve been living together since. We"ve had to move twice for work (mine, not hers), and starting in September I"m going to be going back to school.
Basically we"ve been together a long time and things are very good, we"ve had some issues that we need to work on but... we end up spending a lot of time together. We used to be dirt poor and the only hobby we could afford was WoW. We stopped playing recently and we aren"t dirt poor anymore, and she"s getting pretty bored where we are. I really think that getting her into some sort of social network/hobby is important to keep her happy, but I"m not sure how to go about that. I"m the kind of person that can easily keep themselves entertained for months with a library card and a well lit comfortable reading spot.
The reason this is horrible is I really feel like the more time we spend together the further apart we get. When you"re together 24/7 you run out of shit to talk about, you don"t get to talk about your day when you spent your whole day together. Neither of us has ever been great at starting conversations (we"re both pretty socially inept, her less so but still). Neither of us is working atm either, so we don"t even have that. I"ll be starting school in September like I said, and she is going to start looking for a job, but it really feels like we need something.... more. She"s even tired of watching anime at this point.
She just needs something more then I can give to be not bored. And keeping her happy is pretty important to me, not just because I love her but because when she"s unhappy she feels really closed off and that is hard on me. It makes me paranoid about her thinking about leaving (personal insecurity issue, I"m good about not bringing it up though she"s aware of it). Though some shit in the past two years has been pretty awful so if she stuck through that I"m not to worried, especially since things are definitely looking up. This most recent move should be the last for a while. We"re staying where we are for a good bit.
Anyway...
Bit about me, I had a screwed up childhood, it left me really emotionally closed off. Talking to people IRL was just to much for me, so I ended up spending a lot of time online. I talked to a lot of girls online. Thousands, easily, and I got pretty good at that. I started talking to a few on the phone when I was ~14. Had a few girlfriends (I"d meet them in person, then ask them to be etc), none of them ever worked out long term.
Then this one girl... was just perfect. She"s very smart, absolutely gorgeous, we have a lot of the same interests (except fiction, she can"t stand reading any type of fiction which I think is just... odd). We met in person in 2004, over Christmas, and I lost my virginity to her. Again in March "05 when I asked her to be my GF. Moved in together August "05 and we"ve been living together since. We"ve had to move twice for work (mine, not hers), and starting in September I"m going to be going back to school.
Basically we"ve been together a long time and things are very good, we"ve had some issues that we need to work on but... we end up spending a lot of time together. We used to be dirt poor and the only hobby we could afford was WoW. We stopped playing recently and we aren"t dirt poor anymore, and she"s getting pretty bored where we are. I really think that getting her into some sort of social network/hobby is important to keep her happy, but I"m not sure how to go about that. I"m the kind of person that can easily keep themselves entertained for months with a library card and a well lit comfortable reading spot.
The reason this is horrible is I really feel like the more time we spend together the further apart we get. When you"re together 24/7 you run out of shit to talk about, you don"t get to talk about your day when you spent your whole day together. Neither of us has ever been great at starting conversations (we"re both pretty socially inept, her less so but still). Neither of us is working atm either, so we don"t even have that. I"ll be starting school in September like I said, and she is going to start looking for a job, but it really feels like we need something.... more. She"s even tired of watching anime at this point.
She just needs something more then I can give to be not bored. And keeping her happy is pretty important to me, not just because I love her but because when she"s unhappy she feels really closed off and that is hard on me. It makes me paranoid about her thinking about leaving (personal insecurity issue, I"m good about not bringing it up though she"s aware of it). Though some shit in the past two years has been pretty awful so if she stuck through that I"m not to worried, especially since things are definitely looking up. This most recent move should be the last for a while. We"re staying where we are for a good bit.
Anyway...
If things were as bad as you claim in previous years, I"m certain neither of you have much in the way of self-esteem. Starting new things is almost paralyzing at that point and it takes a while to recover from that. Sounds like she"s aware she"s at a juncture. Let it go. It"s not your responsibility to fill up the "boredom" void with social networking, hobbies, and whatnot; it"s hers. Your attempts to do so are probably just confusing her and making it worse. The best you can do is reaffirm that things are getting better and be there for her.
It seems like you just need some "romantic" time with one another. Like other"s have said, finding hobbies for her is her job. You just need to come up with some memorable things to do with her to have something to look back on.
I"d recommend doing shit that you don"t usually do. Opening your horizons per se. Like going on some mini vacations that don"t cost a lot of money. (Beach, camping, etc). Going out and hanging with friends (if you have any) or just with each other and commenting on the people walking around or taking in the scenery. I know you aren"t social, but sometimes you have to force yourself to be social. You"ll find that you adapt quite quickly. You should be able to come up with something. Doesn"t have to be amazing, just fun.
One thing I realized in long relationships is that we sometimes get comfortable and just don"t put that much effort in doing the fun stuff we once used to do.
Just some ideas.
I"d recommend doing shit that you don"t usually do. Opening your horizons per se. Like going on some mini vacations that don"t cost a lot of money. (Beach, camping, etc). Going out and hanging with friends (if you have any) or just with each other and commenting on the people walking around or taking in the scenery. I know you aren"t social, but sometimes you have to force yourself to be social. You"ll find that you adapt quite quickly. You should be able to come up with something. Doesn"t have to be amazing, just fun.
One thing I realized in long relationships is that we sometimes get comfortable and just don"t put that much effort in doing the fun stuff we once used to do.
Just some ideas.
So after getting dumped, and then having God awful rebounds I feel shitty and back at square one. Fuck.
Wow you are just a total faggot. Whether it was a troll attempt or now you are backpeddling and making it appear to be a troll attempt you are a tool either way.Sharmai said:
Can people stop fagging up this thread and get back to stories of trainwreck failures, dead girlfriends, and complete strangers with no credentials giving relationship advice. And someone for the love of god get some naked pics up. The only thing I can muster in the near future is a clothed body shot which is lame.
God you"re fucking retarded. Did she died yet?aychamo_aycono said:
I"m so putting you on fucking ignore, you"re a fucking drama wanting loser ass whore.
Everlast: Sorry, man. What reason did the chick give for dumping you before the horrible string of failed relationships?
As for naked pics: I"m not sure you all would like the ones I could readily provide, so sorry on that end. They have a distinct lack of tits and substitute things like cocks instead. The ones that aren"t so easy to get... I shall see if I can get her into a bet and win. The game is afoot!
Eh? Do you define this as in currently engaged in a successful relationship or as Doctor Phil type "credentials"?Dabamf said:
As for naked pics: I"m not sure you all would like the ones I could readily provide, so sorry on that end. They have a distinct lack of tits and substitute things like cocks instead. The ones that aren"t so easy to get... I shall see if I can get her into a bet and win. The game is afoot!
The combo of neither of you guys having work to do and being bored of everyday stuff is a dangerous one. Do you guys have your own groups of friends?Aulirophile said:
It"s not your responsibility to get her into hobbies, but hey, try to help her out if she"s as socially awkward as you claim. Just look online or in a newspaper and try some random shit that she may enjoy, or that you both may hate (and can tease each other about how silly it is during and after it).
Both of you sitting around all day together without work, school, others, etc., is limiting your social interactions with everyone but each other, and yeah, we do get sick of the same people. That"s why when we do, we can go out with others and come back and realize why you"re living with who you are, you know? Not just someone to keep you entertained 24/7. That being said, without the usual avenues for social interactions, you gotta find affordable things to do in your area. Craigslist?
If u haven"t noticed I"ve consistently given my opinions in this thread. I was making fun of the prospect of strangers giving advice, even though I think it can be valuable and I do it frequently.
If this thread can survive a week or two more I promise to deliver some old pics that are undoubtedly worth the wait. Need a new comp to hook the external up to. So we need sharmai to go back to the concrete jungle, brad to meet more strippers and get friended, ronaan to take it to a new level and just date a girl who is institutionalized, eomer to have a threesome and post the hilarious backlash, and everyone else to realize that there are only so many ways to rip on aychamo without it becomming unfunny, and they"ve all already been used.
She said we were getting serious too quickly, and that she didnt want a serious relationship. I think that means we had sex way early (second date) and that well I don"t honestly know. She sent me a text saying that it was too serious and she wanted to move on and refused to answer any of my texts/phonecalls after that point.Alcestis said:
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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I doubt it"s because sex happened too early. If she"s not wanting a "serious" relationship, then what is she looking for if not someone to hang out with and have sex with? I"m no expert, but it sounds to me like perhaps you came on too strong too soon and scared her off. Whether that was calling too much, or making yourself too available, is hard to say.
Or unfortunately, she just may not have been all that interested in you.
Or unfortunately, she just may not have been all that interested in you.
Eomer is probably right. My guess is you came on too strong and tried to move things forward way too quickly. She may not have wanted someone clinging onto her and just said she didn"t want a serious relationship to soften the blow.
Thirded on eomers point. People don"t break contact with someone they really like so they can have casual fun with people they like less. I don"t really think the "afraid of commitment" excuse is legit except rare rare occassions. Usually instead the man just loses his allure because HE is moving too fast and ceases to be challenging and intriguing.
I had one instance with a girl that was getting semi serious really fast. Then she pulled away, flaked on plans and had bs excuses for being unavailable. I was certain that some affectionate gesture was necessary, but my brother said for sure I was being too available and my initial allure had faded. I disagreed but followed his advice and stopped calling completely. When 4 days later we had group plans with mutual friends I slightly ignored her and made sure to be my old edgy semiassholish self. Later that night as I"m driving home I get a txt confessing how great it was to see me and that she freaked out about getting serious. I think she misattributed her feelings because it was my change in behavior that initiated the change in her feelings. Of course within a week I massively fucked it up and nothing more came of it. Good thing cuz she turned out to have real issues and was sort of a slut.
I had one instance with a girl that was getting semi serious really fast. Then she pulled away, flaked on plans and had bs excuses for being unavailable. I was certain that some affectionate gesture was necessary, but my brother said for sure I was being too available and my initial allure had faded. I disagreed but followed his advice and stopped calling completely. When 4 days later we had group plans with mutual friends I slightly ignored her and made sure to be my old edgy semiassholish self. Later that night as I"m driving home I get a txt confessing how great it was to see me and that she freaked out about getting serious. I think she misattributed her feelings because it was my change in behavior that initiated the change in her feelings. Of course within a week I massively fucked it up and nothing more came of it. Good thing cuz she turned out to have real issues and was sort of a slut.