Girls who broke your heart thread

Tenks said:

I would say she had enough interest to stay at your place and kiss you but I"m sorry you completely overstepped your bounds. Next time if she is staying at your place I"d at leasttryto have sex with her. Even if she says no that isn"t an end-all she could just not be a slut but it will make your intent obvious.

I"d also pick up another hobby outside of sending girls packages filled with stuffed animals and flower pedals.

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haha, I don"t really care about chasing down sex. I had my fair share of fun in that regard, now I am looking for someone that can be a bit more than that. Getting laid is easy, it"s finding someone you WANT around(not just tolerate) that is tough. Also hard to find someoen operating on the same level as me.

I do have other hobbies Doing shit like that is just the kind of person I am. If it doesn"t match with her, that"s sad cause I liked her, but as I said life will go on. And in time I will meet a girl who DOES like those things and then that will be a match. I love building stuff, sky diving, rock climbing, sailing, scuba diving, I love cooking, and travel, and doing anything outlandish/unique. I understand the forward approach of small and odd packages may not be for every girl, but if she doesn"t like it, as I said before I am probably not meant to be with her anyway because that is who I am deep down. No sense in chasing someone that is a 30% match! I"m better off getting it out there ASAP and moving on.

I am pretty strange like that even with guy friends. I am constantly the guy in the group planning ski trips, cruises, parties, organizing group events, birthday parties, strippers, you name it. Life sucks enough with our 10+ hour work days and shit, I am a firm believer in that shit out of the ordinary is a wonderful change of pace.

Anyway, small little historical rant about me. Mostly I was just wondering how long would be an ok for a response, but the general consesus appears to be "immediately" so it would seem you are all correct and that she is not interested. This is the first time I have tried the long distance flirting. Usually I do this kind of shit locally...more stories so you can make fun of me?

One girl"s birthday I filled the entire apartment chest high with balloons. Yes it took me over 15 hours to blow them all up and yes, the resulting balloon party was awesome. I would do it again but I try never to do the same flirt technique twice.

Another girl got a combo poem that was pieces of all other poems, this was during college. It was a puzzle. Each poem she found she could goto the campus library, find that book and within it would be a clue to a larger puzzle. Once all clues were collected from the poems it was directions to a location on campus I had hidden a box with tickets for us to go to Niagara Falls(I was poor at the time and it was close).

One more...also during college, there was this "quarter mile" strip at RIT that all freshman had to walk down to get from the dorms to the academic side of campus. About halfway there are two huge buildings, a gym and a pool. I scaled the buildings(fence/latter/rope all combined) and hung a giant banner between the two with a message for this girl. It was just a little "Have a great day XXXX" thing. That was one of my more favorite things to do.

Anyway, I"ve done tons of odd shit like that and I have a stockpile of new ones to use in the future for some (un?)lucky girl!!

Eomer said:

haha, I want to know what"s in the package too!

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What in the box? Why it"s my:

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I don"t think I need to explain my position on sending the package. Of course, it could have been harmless, but stuffed animal + flower petals is a little...too romantic for so early, and I"m guessing that the letter contained some confession of how much you enjoyed her company blah blah blah.

Big gestures are meant for anniversaries, when you neglect her so much she has an emotional breakdown, and when her parents die. I think that covers all of them. Any gesture that starts with the thought "this will be romantic" before you are undeniably a fully-committed couple will invoke in her the thought "this is creepy."

But as for the question, the length of time you should wait to send the 2nd package is: forever. You stand a (unlikely) chance that she likes the first, but again she should have called/emailed by now. Even if she loved it, sending a second one will turn it from "oh how thoughtful he sent me a package" to "oh god I hope he doesn"t send me a severed head next."

Tenks brought up a good point about sex which leads me to a tangent. I found that it is always a good idea to be attempting sex no later than the 2nd time it is possible (adequate privacy & already making out). The whole "I want to respect her and not push it" makes you look like a vagina to probably any girl. Girls respect men who go after what they want, and all girls know that all men want to bone. The "I"m not like other guys, I gotta connect with a girl first" lie never works because it is a lie, even if you think you believe it. I used to do that all the time and they saw right through it. So, be aggressive! If she stops you, stop, then try again later. Many times a girl will want to have sex, even be mentally anticipating it, but will stop you multiple times anyway. Don"t know why, probably to avoid looking like a slut, instinct, whatever, but it"s an obstacle that"s meant to be broken.

Rangoth said:

Anyway, I"ve done tons of odd shit like that and I have a stockpile of new ones to use in the future for some (un?)lucky girl!!

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Holy shit, you"re like a walking romantic comedy! And I mean that in a good way. I am so going to hit you up for cheesey ideas like that in the future.

However, and I"ll mostly let the experts do the talking here, I think such gestures are typically only a good idea once you"re in to a fairly serious relationship. I don"t think that they"re a particularly good idea to get the girl to initially fall for you. There might be some that would be sucked in by such grandiose gestures, but I would say most would look back on them fondly while wondering whatever happened to that sad, weird little guy who went to all the trouble for them even though they hadn"t even opened their legs yet.

Dabamf said:

Don"t know why, probably to avoid looking like a slut, instinct, whatever, but it"s an obstacle that"s meant to be broken.

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That"s exactly why. They want to be able to tell themselves and their friends that they"re "not that kind of girl." That"s exactly the word choice Xerxes used several times the first time I got her back to my place (third date I believe). But prior to having said that several times as I persisted in pawing at her, she had stripped down in front of me, put on a white t-shirt with no panties and jumped in to bed. Even then it took a solid hour or two of making out, chatting, pushing etc until she hopped on board. But not before she convinced herself that she wasn"t "that kind of girl."

So long as things are going reasonably decent, you"re not a total dirtbag, you"re not attempting it in your parent"s basement, it"s not the first date (use discretion if it is!), and you"re past your teens and early 20"s I would say that you"re not hurting your chances by pushing for sex quite early. If she"s really opposed to it then fine, don"t beg, but typically you can tell by their reaction just how adamant they are. I would say that personally out of the last 6 girls I"ve dated, all of them have given it up by the third date at the latest.

That said, it"s almost unfair when I get them back to my place and plug in the christmas lights.

Dabamf said:

Tenks brought up a good point about sex which leads me to a tangent. I found that it is always a good idea to be attempting sex no later than the 2nd time it is possible (adequate privacy & already making out). The whole "I want to respect her and not push it" makes you look like a vagina to probably any girl. Girls respect men who go after what they want, and all girls know that all men want to bone. The "I"m not like other guys, I gotta connect with a girl first" lie never works because it is a lie, even if you think you believe it. I used to do that all the time and they saw right through it. So, be aggressive! If she stops you, stop, then try again later. Many times a girl will want to have sex, even be mentally anticipating it, but will stop you multiple times anyway. Don"t know why, probably to avoid looking like a slut, instinct, whatever, but it"s an obstacle that"s meant to be broken.

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I didn"t not fuck her because I am an honorable man or I want to show her I respect her. That"s fucking lame. It was just the situation. I don"t need sex that badly that I will try to fuck in whatever my surroundings are. Maybe this is a sign I am getting old or something I"ll admit there was a time...a phase where all I wanted was to get my dick wet but I just don"t have that drive anymore. Sex it great and when it goes down awesome, but I probably won"t go out of my way for it.

And I will accept the input from people here, since it seems to be the universal attitude, but I would be false if I claimed to agree. I just don"t get it. The only shit I get in the mail is fucking bills. I like exaggerations, extremities, and risks...that is where the fun and passion is to me. I don"t want to go on a fucking dinner date and talk about how good my steak was, or what her major was in college. Most fucking boring date ever. First dates for me are Blue Man Group, Concert, Ice Skating, rock climbing, historical exploration(old forts on the islands around boston or something)....I cannot stand the mundane and boring.

And the letter wasn"t gushy at all. It was about 1 page of "Hope you had a good time in Boston, next time well do that activity we didn"t get to do this time. Good luck with your upcoming move, hope you like your new roommates. Keep in touch!"

rangoth said:

Getting laid is easy,

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Sorry, but anyone who contemplates sending a 2nd package after a first highly-questionable package is ignored does not find getting laid easy. If you aren"t gonna be honest here you shouldn"t ask for advice.

I understand the forward approach of small and odd packages may not be for every girl, but if she doesn"t like it, as I said before I am probably not meant to be with her anyway because that is who I am deep down.

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Here"s the thing: a certain type of girl may love that type of stuff...when you are in a relationship.But any reasonably attractive girl already has tons of guys doing all kinds of outlandish things to get their attention, and by making these big gestures early on you get lumped into that same category of desperate losers and your only hope is to be the clown that stands out the most. Tone it down at first. Show her that side of you by making a big gesture for your friend"s b-day when she is around ,or your mom or something. Show her that you do that type of stuff all the time...for people you care deeply about.

People don"t like to feel praised or given excessive attention if they don"t feel like they"ve earned it. Even guys are the same way. The principle at the school I work at absolutely loves me, but I haven"t done a single thing to earn her approval. I"m a foreigner, that"s it. As a result, her praise makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I avoid her as much as possible.

Eomer said:

Holy shit, you"re like a walking romantic comedy! And I mean that in a good way. I am so going to hit you up for cheesey ideas like that in the future.

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ha, please do. I love this kind of shit. Imagine being married with a house and 2 kids. Your nights are pretty invovled, right? Well that"s where I am but without the house, wife or kids. So when I get home I have SOOO much free time on my hands(hence the home kegerator project and thread, full bar, ping pong tables, working out alot, and other hobbies). I used to play EQ full time, even did WoW pretty hard for a short period but in the last year or two I just can"t bring myself to sit in front of the PC anymore. It"s strange, I quit it all cold-turkey like someone would smoking. And it wasn"t for a specific reason(I didn"t lose my job or girlfriend or anything). I just got bored of it and once I got out again I didn"t even look back.

Eomer said:

sex advice

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Again I am not that worried about the sex part. It"s not exactly difficult to get laid for the most part, but like MMO"s(not exactly but whatever) it just stopped being my motivator. It"s a mix of having had a great deal of sex in my past so the novelty is gone, I live in a major city where I am scared shitless of getting herpes or aids or some fucking dick infecting shit, and just not caring. I don"t want someone I can fuck...I can go to the bars for that, I want someone to share in the fun plans I have for my life.

Dabamf said:

Sorry, but anyone who contemplates sending a 2nd package after a first highly-questionable package is ignored does not find getting laid easy. If you aren"t gonna be honest here you shouldn"t ask for advice.

Here"s the thing: a certain type of girl may love that type of stuff...when you are in a relationship.But any reasonably attractive girl already has tons of guys doing all kinds of outlandish things to get their attention, and by making these big gestures early on you get lumped into that same category of desperate losers and your only hope is to be the clown that stands out the most. Tone it down at first. Show her that side of you by making a big gesture for your friend"s b-day when she is around ,or your mom or something. Show her that you do that type of stuff all the time...for people you care deeply about.

People don"t like to feel praised or given excessive attention if they don"t feel like they"ve earned it. Even guys are the same way. The principle at the school I work at absolutely loves me, but I haven"t done a single thing to earn her approval. I"m a foreigner, that"s it. As a result, her praise makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I avoid her as much as possible.

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You can comment all you want about my sex life. I know what it is and that is just a retarded and pointless debate...I am not here to convince you. My only point in mentioning it was to indicate that I am not "chasing her trying to fuck".

I don"t think all girls will like this kind of stuff, or like me. But if they don"t then there is a pretty good fucking chance they are not right for me. This is how I live my life...I"m always on the edge of something ready to jump. I need....I want someone who can and WANTS to operate ony my level. I am not interested in toning down my character or actions to "get a girl". I don"t want "a girl". I want someone that is matching puzzle piece. And I didn"t come into this thread crying about how hard it is to meet people. I have no problem meeting people, my problem is I never like the people I meet(beyond the obvious physical attraction).

I do get the point though, so thank you for your input.

I don"t think it is a matter of girls liking that kind of stuff, it"s doing that kind of stuff when you"re not even "officially" dating. I hate to sound cruel, but it really is creepy that soon.

I was just wondering how long would be an ok for a response

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When you"re sent a gift, you typically thank the person immediately (I do at least).

You clearly still want to know, so you may as well just go out with a bang. Send her an email, ask if she got the package. If she responds with something like, "Yeah, I did, thanks. Sorry I didn"t call/text/email I"ve been super busy" that means she is lying and isn"t into you. If she doesn"t reply, you scared the shit out of her. If she was into you, she"d have thanked you.

rangoth said:

Again I am not that worried about the sex part. It"s not exactly difficult to get laid for the most part, but like MMO"s(not exactly but whatever) it just stopped being my motivator. It"s a mix of having had a great deal of sex in my past so the novelty is gone, I live in a major city where I am scared shitless of getting herpes or aids or some fucking dick infecting shit, and just not caring. I don"t want someone I can fuck...I can go to the bars for that, I want someone to share in the fun plans I have for my life.

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I"m the same way, my "random hookup" count is doable on one hand really. But sex is a pretty integral part of any relationship and how you approach it can pre-determine what will happen with that girl. I think back to when I was about 22 dating an 18 year old that had more or less picked me up at a bar, and I didn"t really push the issue at all with her. Within four or five dates it was over with, I"d imagine largely for that reason.

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Ravvenn said:

I don"t think it is a matter of girls liking that kind of stuff, it"s doing that kind of stuff when you"re not even "officially" dating. I hate to sound cruel, but it really is creepy that soon.

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It"s not cruel, it"s honest and it"s the only real thing I was looking to find out here

<-- CREEPY! I think I need a new avatar to reflect this.

I probably won"t call/email to ask about the package. That seems like searching for attention to me. If she wants to thank me(and like me afterwards) that is her choice, but I don"t need to go fishing for a compliment. ohh well it was fun for the while it lasted and the last weekend was certainly a blast. Sailed Boston Harbor, hung out on the beach, watched movies, went to bars and restaurants. I"ve got zero complaints.

Now onward to creep out my next unsuspecting victim!

Sutekh said:

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ZOMG, I"ve been trying to delete that photo from my facebook for months, how did you get it?

jklhlk

brekk said:

Rangoth you"re going about the "not worried about the sex" thing all wrong. You may not be worried and may not be concerned, but girls think all guys want sex all the time. (reasonably accurate)

You not pushing for it could come off as lack of interest/big pussy, just go for it, if she says no she"s either not interested, or trying to be ladylike. If she says yes, well then you get sex, and a pretty good indicator she"s interested.

edit: And what happened to the munchkin? did you crush her?

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Hahahaha, the short one from the party? She is still around off and on. Great girl, really nice to me and everything but I am looking for a bit more if I"m gonna ride it out long term.

Edit: And I probably am going about the sex thing all wrong, but its just my personal experience. Most times sex is involved people become more attached, and I do not want to take the relationship to that next level with just anyone(not the sex level, the starting to be around more, care more and love more level). Plus Boston"s infected vagina pool scares me. That exact thing happened with that girl you are talking about. We hooked up a bit quick, and things got moving too fast, now she"s completely into me and I am not into her and it makes breaking up difficult. Yea yea, internet tough guys say "Slap that cunt and tell her you iz dun!!!1!!" but that isn"t me. I don"t get that angry and I cannot be that mean unless provoked. Maybe in my younger days, but not anymore.

rangoth said:

We hooked up a bit quick, and things got moving too fast, now she"s completely into me and I am not into her and it makes breaking up difficult.

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Send her a package.

Alcestis said:

Send her a package.

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Then another package a day later with something nice...like your ear.

Alcestis said:

Send her a package.

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haha, I loled for sure. She is one of those crazy bitches that would love it though and call and thank me within 10 seconds

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