In my opinion, it"s a mixture. If you do call her, make sure you don"t call her again until she calls you back. There is a danger in never calling her too.
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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There is way more than that. That is only a facet. You need to be unobtainable for reasons outside of simply being busy. Certainly the inaccessibility is a factor. It is sort of how Mystery says that if you see absolutely no one eating at a restaurant you"re going to think the place sucks and not go in. Same is true for your time. If no one else wants to spend time with you and you"re always available then whats the deal.Howeverthis only works for building initial attraction. Initial attraction is important only if you can ramp it up once you actually have a date. At that point you need to build up yourself without being arrogant and show her why you are out of her league.Tarrant220 said:
Dealing with girls who are out of your league can be tricky and you really need to figure out if it"s worth it honestly. See if she is actually cool to hang out with. I went out with a smoking hot chick a few weeks ago. Lead singer for a local band and wildly attractive. However she was completely vapid, had very little to add to the conversation and lacked any real motivation in life -- so I never texted her again. You don"t want to be stuck Eomer"ing it up by completely disregarding neon red flags simply because she makes your dick tingle when you see her.
It"s a very delicate balance. Too much contact and you lose your appeal, too little and she gets discouraged. It is a balance that I have only ever achieved when my disinterest isreal. I"ve tried to fake it many times. Making the girl chase me used to be my move 100% of the time, but I found I always failed if/when I started actually liking the girl. There are outside factors that complicate my ability to evaluate the results, including fairly small sample size, but my tentative hypothesis is that something like not giving a fuck is impossible to truly fake. At the very least it is incredibly difficult.Tarrant220 said:
So, with that said, I"d suggest finding out how to truly not give a fuck. Obviously step 1 you have mastered right now which is have other girls on the table. And I would make a point to not allow yourself to think about her, or strategize, or anything. The more you think about her, the more you have invested, and the more you are invested the more you care. It"s really basic psychology but quite strong. This ispartof why I criticized Eomer earlier. So, don"t allow yourself to think of her, send her a message or call her only when a specific desire to talk to her pops up randomly in your mind. Let that be in 2 days or 2 weeks, whenever it happens. Only when you truly don"t give a fuck can you pull off the "don"t give a fuck" attitude for a prolonged period of time.
Tarrant
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See I think I"ve kinda come across a different "I dont care" attitude and that"s, "I"ve nothing to really lose here, I never expected it to get this far" attitude. Should she pack up her shit and go it"s fine, I expected it at some point.
Don"t mistake this for lack of self confidence, my self confidence is through the roof at the moment but honestly I"m not going into this expecting anything so the pressure in a sense is gone, and my caring about it in turn is marginal. Yeah it would be cool shit if things took off, but am I broke up about it if they don"t? Nope.
Not only that, but I have a couple seriously good options at this point as well.
So as far as that goes, keeping the attitude of not caring, getting her to chase and persue, I think I"m in good shape.
Don"t mistake this for lack of self confidence, my self confidence is through the roof at the moment but honestly I"m not going into this expecting anything so the pressure in a sense is gone, and my caring about it in turn is marginal. Yeah it would be cool shit if things took off, but am I broke up about it if they don"t? Nope.
Not only that, but I have a couple seriously good options at this point as well.
So as far as that goes, keeping the attitude of not caring, getting her to chase and persue, I think I"m in good shape.
Brad2770
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How do I handle being asked out too much?
Last night, her sister invited me to dinner with her boyfriend. She lives near a good friend of mine, so I figured I would go and have dinner with them, stop by and see my friend and steal some of his Blu-Ray movies.
Anyways, I get to their house and Cherry was there (it was meant as a surprise). After having dinner and while watching a movie, I was invited over this Friday night to see some other friends of ours that I havent seen in almost a year. Cherry will be there again. We already have plans to go out Sat night for some haunted houses, so it seems to be a bit much.
I honestly have no problem seeing her that much. I really do enjoy her company, but I want to take things slow. I want to keep things distant enough so that we miss each other, but see each other enough so that it doesnt feel like its been ages.
How should this be accomplished. Other than my job and my working out, I do have the time to go... and Cherry knows that.
Last night, her sister invited me to dinner with her boyfriend. She lives near a good friend of mine, so I figured I would go and have dinner with them, stop by and see my friend and steal some of his Blu-Ray movies.
Anyways, I get to their house and Cherry was there (it was meant as a surprise). After having dinner and while watching a movie, I was invited over this Friday night to see some other friends of ours that I havent seen in almost a year. Cherry will be there again. We already have plans to go out Sat night for some haunted houses, so it seems to be a bit much.
I honestly have no problem seeing her that much. I really do enjoy her company, but I want to take things slow. I want to keep things distant enough so that we miss each other, but see each other enough so that it doesnt feel like its been ages.
How should this be accomplished. Other than my job and my working out, I do have the time to go... and Cherry knows that.
Tarrant
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I feel you as far as the woman knowing your schedule and life enough to know you don"t have anything else going on.
Recent Ex was that way, and still is to an extent, she didn"t bank on me moving on though so when I said I had plans it go to the point where I actually really did have plans.
It"s tricky, both of my serious options right now know my schedule left and right, inside and out so when one of them asks me what I"m doing on X day, I tell them I"m not sure, and if I"m free I"ll get back to them.
I suggest you do the same, when she wants to do something and you feel it"s to much, tell her you"re not sure whats going on that day and you"ll get back to her. If you don"t have plans, then make some, then you won"t feel like you lied to her either...you actually do have something else going on that day.
Too much time = bad, that was the #1 thing I learned strait away after recent ex and I split, you need fucking time apart.
Recent Ex was that way, and still is to an extent, she didn"t bank on me moving on though so when I said I had plans it go to the point where I actually really did have plans.
It"s tricky, both of my serious options right now know my schedule left and right, inside and out so when one of them asks me what I"m doing on X day, I tell them I"m not sure, and if I"m free I"ll get back to them.
I suggest you do the same, when she wants to do something and you feel it"s to much, tell her you"re not sure whats going on that day and you"ll get back to her. If you don"t have plans, then make some, then you won"t feel like you lied to her either...you actually do have something else going on that day.
Too much time = bad, that was the #1 thing I learned strait away after recent ex and I split, you need fucking time apart.
Aside from work or whatever, how do these women know everything about both of your guys schedules? Do they drive by your house or apartment to see if your car is there or something? I rarely plan or know where I"ll be tomorrow night, let alone in a few days or on the weekend.
Tarrant
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I work 6 days a week, at least 10-12 hours a day, my schedule isn"t hard to figure out once you"ve known me for a few weeks.
Hell even when the hairdresser texted me last night her first text was "only 3 hours to go and you"re free from work!" and I"ve only been talking to her for what...12 days? It"s no secret I work and I work a lot.
Hell even when the hairdresser texted me last night her first text was "only 3 hours to go and you"re free from work!" and I"ve only been talking to her for what...12 days? It"s no secret I work and I work a lot.
Ronaan
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Go for it brad, I don"t see a problem really.
My ex rose to new levels of crazy...
Saturday I went to the cinema with Annie (Pope Joan... yeah. I get to pick the next movie though). We had to sit near one of the entrances because it was quite full, and of course my crazy ex walks in 1 minute before the movie starts. I said "Hi.", she mumbled something that might have been "Hi." or "Die." as she walked past us. Awkward, but it was a given that something like this would happen sooner or later.
Nothing bad happened until Sunday where she texted me just to tell me that I look so unhappy, my girl looks unhappy, we looked like two strangers sitting next to each other, a couple freshly in love should look happier, other co-workers tell her I look unhappy too so it can"t be just her, and more shit like that.
I told her to just leave me be and not care about my stuff, to which she agreed (yeah we all know how well that will work).
Yesterday, my best buddy (who has to work in one office with her) told me that she showed one of our other co-workers pictures on her cellphone... nude cellphone-mirror-pics ... "what do you think, not bad for a 45 year old, right?"
My buddy had to leave the office because he couldn"t control his laughter anymore, the other guy had a big "wtf-face" going, and when I met him today he still couldn"t believe what she did.
Damn I"m really glad I got rid of that psycho. All I can do is facepalm over and over and over...
My ex rose to new levels of crazy...
Saturday I went to the cinema with Annie (Pope Joan... yeah. I get to pick the next movie though). We had to sit near one of the entrances because it was quite full, and of course my crazy ex walks in 1 minute before the movie starts. I said "Hi.", she mumbled something that might have been "Hi." or "Die." as she walked past us. Awkward, but it was a given that something like this would happen sooner or later.
Nothing bad happened until Sunday where she texted me just to tell me that I look so unhappy, my girl looks unhappy, we looked like two strangers sitting next to each other, a couple freshly in love should look happier, other co-workers tell her I look unhappy too so it can"t be just her, and more shit like that.
I told her to just leave me be and not care about my stuff, to which she agreed (yeah we all know how well that will work).
Yesterday, my best buddy (who has to work in one office with her) told me that she showed one of our other co-workers pictures on her cellphone... nude cellphone-mirror-pics ... "what do you think, not bad for a 45 year old, right?"
My buddy had to leave the office because he couldn"t control his laughter anymore, the other guy had a big "wtf-face" going, and when I met him today he still couldn"t believe what she did.
Damn I"m really glad I got rid of that psycho. All I can do is facepalm over and over and over...
LMAO I had a female coworker once AIM me naked pictures of herself. I had no idea how to respond to it.
Ronaan
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It doesn"t hurt at all, it"s just... the amount of stupid, it"s ungodly.lost said:
That guy is around 30, she"s 45, he didn"t ask for nudes, she just pulled out her phone during lunch or whatever, or at some other occasion where people sit around and do nothing much. Just unprovoked "hey look at my tits" ... I think she"s hoping for some sort of confirmation or whatever.
Either way he"s not the quiet type, so by friday around 90% of our people will have heard about it...
God I can"t stop laughing.
P.S. tits aren"t that stellar anyway, mainly due to a pretty nasty scar on the right one that comes from a tumor she had >20y ago.
Ronaan
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I know there is no Millie... was trying to be subtle and funny at the same time and failed.
I"ll see what I can dig up. I feel somewhat sorry for her, looks like she really wantswantswantsto be loved... pretty sad. But in the end it"s her own fault she"s alone, stuck with 2 asshole kids who wouldn"t piss on her if she were on fire unless she paid them for it.
I"ll see what I can dig up. I feel somewhat sorry for her, looks like she really wantswantswantsto be loved... pretty sad. But in the end it"s her own fault she"s alone, stuck with 2 asshole kids who wouldn"t piss on her if she were on fire unless she paid them for it.
