Girls who broke your heart thread

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Dabamf_sl

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If he will listen to me and let me test my theories, I support continuing to text her.

P.S. Update necessary

P.P.S. After I resolved the issue with DG (minus making sure she kept her word by seeing her apartment draped in black penis wallpaper) she was over last night and I stupidly referenced my leaving Korea in 16 months again and she got upset. I"ve never given any indication that I"m staying, and I"ve referenced it in passing a couple times, but she always gets upset from it. I think she was kinda hoping maybe I"d change my mind and stay for her, I dunno. Well anyway, I knew after this amount of time and how she has reacted, I needed to lay the truth out there clear as day so I"m not leading her on. Since I had already referenced it, I figured that was the time to do it. I said I really liked her, blah blah personal stuff, but that I have a career dream that can only be accomplished back home. And that I hated to have to mention it, but I wanted her to know exactly what I was thinking so she could do what was best for her.

She cried for like 25 minutes, then we slept. In the morning she seemed normal, but today she"s ignoring all my texts. And just as I"m typing this she texted saying she had a shitty day (which says a lot because she never says anything negative).

Thing is, I"m not sure whether she was really holding out hope that I"d change my mind or if she just doesn"t like to think about it and wants to enjoy the time together untainted. Either way, couldn"t risk leading her on.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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She"s probably just either not wanting to think about it or holding out hope you"ll change your mind. in 16 months if shit is still going good who knows, maybe she"ll want to follow you back over, how would that make you feel? Lord knows it wouldn"t be the first time something like that has happened.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

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Tarrant, where do you stand with your new woman? and what has happened to the other wimminz you were courting?
 
A

Ancallagon

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Tarrant220 said:
She"s probably just either not wanting to think about it or holding out hope you"ll change your mind.
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...that"s exactly what he said.

Dabamf, good on you for not stringing her along and for making things plain to her. If she opts to stick with it the relationship will be that much more stable for you having done so.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Ancalagon said:
...that"s exactly what he said.

Dabamf, good on you for not stringing her along and for making things plain to her. If she opts to stick with it the relationship will be that much more stable for you having done so.
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I know, I was reaffirming what he was thinking, welcome to how this thread works.

Brad2770 said:
Tarrant, where do you stand with your new woman? and what has happened to the other wimminz you were courting?
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The girl who was a long standing friend, I decided it was better to keep that way, she was upset at first but I think she realizes it was better this way. She"s cool as hell and I would hate to have something happen to (sounds gay I know) the bond we have.

No Drama Ex...I really like her, and she likes me...and I think given time it woulda worked out but she wasn"t okay with us only see each other once a week and this time of year with my job, that"s all that was going to happen. There wasn"t any arguing about it but we came across the same conclusion we had last time which was, "maybe another time down the line we can try this shit again." She"s a great person and should I be available again at some point, I wouldn"t mind.

Girl from back home...we still talk a lot but nothing would happen with that for a long time even were I available, she"s awesome though for sure.

Which brings me to Michele, the girl I"m seeing now.

Things are going well, we see each other about twice a week and things are progressing at a decent pace. This weekend is her birthday, I"m having flowers (tulips, her favorite) delivered to her work Friday and we"re spending the day together on Saturday. (Her birthday is Friday, she"ll be going out to dinner with her parents though so we"re celebrating it Saturday) We"re going out to dinner to a decent place that has some meaning to us, then out to a comedy club after that (we"ve been meaning to go to it for awhile, finally doing so now) Then back to her place for the night.

Nothing is officially labeled as far as her and I as of now, but she"s made her feelings very well known and she knows mine, we just want to take shit slow, which there"s nothing wrong with givin my past and hers as well. I"m not about jumping head first into something again, we"ll take our sweet time.

I"m new to this situation but I would say we"re doing very well, her best friend (gay guy) has informed me she"s pretty smitten with me so that"s good.

Looking forward to the weekend.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Vatoreus said:
Trust me Eomer, I know the bs your dealing with right now. It"s tough as balls to manage through and I still can"t even do it. I know what I NEED to do, but my fucking brain won"t let me.
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Actually, I wouldn"t say it"s "tough." Like I said, I"m mostly over her, at this point I"d say the feelings I have for her aren"t really any different than what might develop after a first date with a new girl, if a connection was made. I"m not pining away my days, longing to see her or anything like that. Should I meet some new vagina on my whirlwind tour of Peru, I would gladly pound it and probably not even pretend it was hers!

Lusiphur said:
Jesus, you know this is a bad idea. You posted it in a way that says you know it is a bad idea. Wtf, man

Seriously its at the point where I think you should just blurt out undying love and have her crush you emotionally. You don"t seem to be getting the message through other means.
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lol, undying love? Not quite. See above.

Brad said:
And I am the crazy one......

At least I was actually married to the woman and had a child.
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What exactly did I do that"s "crazy"? I mean oh shit noz, lingering feelings for an ex, the horror! The horror!

I don"t know if I"ve mentioned it or not, but once I develop feelings for a girl they tend to stick around come hell or high water. They"re few and far between, though. As I mentioned earlier, typically my experience is the opposite with girls and I don"t develop an attachment. Chuck was really quick puppy love almost entirely related to her hotness. Anne and a girl I dated after highschool are really the only two girls I"ve ever developed a strong attachment to, at least that went anywhere.

Ancalagon said:
Alternatively you can just ignore her texts or, better still, block her entirely.

Nah.
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That wouldn"t be entertaining for any of us, now would it?

Tarrant said:
You"re taking so many steps backwards it"s mind boggling and I just don"t understand it.
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Jesus titty fuck, I DIDN"T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING, other than replying as Dabamf suggested. No response from her, because it was quite obviously a closed reply. As Dabamf said, she"ll probably text again in a couple weeks.
 
W

Whyme_foh

shitlord
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Jesus titty fuck, I DIDN"T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING, other than replying as Dabamf suggested. No response from her, because it was quite obviously a closed reply. As Dabamf said, she"ll probably text again in a couple weeks.
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I had actually been toying with the idea of sending her a text one night, something along the lines of "Why aren"t we like normal ex-couples with booty calls etc?", if only to see her reaction. Given her continued contact and knowing her personality, at the worst she"d laugh and tell me to get lost, at best she"d come over. I"ve been kind of stuck at the 80-90% "moved on" point for a couple months now, probably in large part because whenever I get close to not thinking about her for an extended period she texts me out of the blue as well as not having really met anyone else in the meantime where it"s gone anywhere past a date.
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I think that is what people are having problems with. The fact that you were even slightly considering doing the above implies that you haven"t learned your lesson yet.

Your best bet here is to delete her number from your phone and never have any contact with her ever again. Having read most of your posts I"m pretty confident in saying that there"s really nothing you can do towards her at this point that won"t come off reeking insecurity. Just forget about her and move on.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

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Eomer said:
What exactly did I do that"s "crazy"? I mean oh shit noz, lingering feelings for an ex, the horror! The horror!
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You make a big deal about texts and small things. Much like the Bar Girl, which nothing happened.

I always wondered why my ex didnt stay with that rich guy she started dating last year. He had a nice condo, a sport bike, 2 sporty cars and a boat. He dressed well and was nice physical shape for his age. I didnt understand why things didnt work out between her and him. He would have been great for her (especially for the money). But when I read your posts sometimes and how you act, I can honestly see why it might have not worked out. Not saying you are him, but you two would be more similar in lifestyles than me and him/you.

I dont mean this in a bad way, but just because you have money and can travel all the time, you still have minor flaws and draw backs (dont make me research the shit to point them out) that make you similar to me. To any guy. Youre a regular male and there is nothing, not even your money, that makes you any better than any of us.

Now I am NOT saying that you had ever said or even thought this. It"s more on me, my insecurities and such. I used to think that better dress and wealth meant better man. I am finally realizing that none of that means nothing. It really is who YOU are as a person.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

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Tarrant220 said:
I"m new to this situation but I would say we"re doing very well, her best friend (gay guy) has informed me she"s pretty smitten with me so that"s good.
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Sounds like things are good, but how did you get to where you talk to her gay friend? haha
 
T

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
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Eomer wrote out one paragraph about it instead of 20 like he normally does. That"s clearly progress, why don"t you fools cut him some slack.
 
brekk

brekk

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Dabamf said:
Text her back "you"re welcome." Nothing else, no smilies, no other lines, no other punctuation, nothing. And no matter her response, don"t send a single other reply under any circumstance.
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This works so much better than outright ignoring a girl. If you never respond they can get it in their head that maybe your number changed, or your phone was on silent, or your in a meeting, or a thousand other reasons why you didn"t respond.

A simple 1 line response acknowledges that you"re there, and got the text, but aren"t going to give her more than the bare minimum of a response. It"s retarded effective.
 
W

wild_whiskey_foh

shitlord
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Dabamf said:
If he will listen to me and let me test my theories, I support continuing to text her.

P.S. Update necessary

P.P.S. After I resolved the issue with DG (minus making sure she kept her word by seeing her apartment draped in black penis wallpaper) she was over last night and I stupidly referenced my leaving Korea in 16 months again and she got upset. I"ve never given any indication that I"m staying, and I"ve referenced it in passing a couple times, but she always gets upset from it. I think she was kinda hoping maybe I"d change my mind and stay for her, I dunno. Well anyway, I knew after this amount of time and how she has reacted, I needed to lay the truth out there clear as day so I"m not leading her on. Since I had already referenced it, I figured that was the time to do it. I said I really liked her, blah blah personal stuff, but that I have a career dream that can only be accomplished back home. And that I hated to have to mention it, but I wanted her to know exactly what I was thinking so she could do what was best for her.

She cried for like 25 minutes, then we slept. In the morning she seemed normal, but today she"s ignoring all my texts. And just as I"m typing this she texted saying she had a shitty day (which says a lot because she never says anything negative).

Thing is, I"m not sure whether she was really holding out hope that I"d change my mind or if she just doesn"t like to think about it and wants to enjoy the time together untainted. Either way, couldn"t risk leading her on.
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Dude, she"s just heartbroken. She likes you, and even though she knows that like most relationships, it"s likely to end (like it or not), nobody likes to hear things that put a finite end, even when it"s so far off, and 16 months is a hell of a long time for things to change or develop. She"s probably thinking that if it"s going to end in 16 months, why should she invest her life into someone she has no possibility of marriage and/or a future with?

Honestly I wouldn"t be surprised if she doesn"t turn this into a lot more drama and possibly a bitter good-bye. I"m not in your relationship so I can"t really say, just judging from my experience. But if your position is as cut and dry as you make it out to be - basically, that your relationship is going to end in 16 months, then you really can"t complain if she does drop you over this.

It sounds like she likes you a lot more than you lead us to believe around here.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Eomer said:
Jesus titty fuck, I DIDN"T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING, other than replying as Dabamf suggested. No response from her, because it was quite obviously a closed reply. As Dabamf said, she"ll probably text again in a couple weeks.
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I just misread what you had said, thought you were running back to her. My bad, carry on.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Brad2770 said:
Sounds like things are good, but how did you get to where you talk to her gay friend? haha
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She told her friend all about me and he thought I sounded cool, one day on yahoo I was talking to Michele and she brought him into a conference talk and he and I just kept talking after that. Gives me inside info and I don"t tell him anything I haven"t told her so it"s win/win for me in that regard.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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Dabamf said:
She cried for like 25 minutes, then we slept. In the morning she seemed normal, but today she"s ignoring all my texts. And just as I"m typing this she texted saying she had a shitty day (which says a lot because she never says anything negative).

Thing is, I"m not sure whether she was really holding out hope that I"d change my mind or if she just doesn"t like to think about it and wants to enjoy the time together untainted. Either way, couldn"t risk leading her on.
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Well, couple of possibilities. Her plan is either to distance herself from the relationship, in the hopes that it won"t hurt so much when the day comes, or she"s doing this as the beginning of the end. In fact, one could lead into the other.

Best case scenario is she"s just in a funk and will come out of it in a day or two and be back to her normal self, but that"s probably a pretty small chance (10-25%). Much better chance of either of the top two imo.

Tarrant220 said:
She told her friend all about me and he thought I sounded cool, one day on yahoo I was talking to Michele and she brought him into a conference talk and he and I just kept talking after that. Gives me inside info and I don"t tell him anything I haven"t told her so it"s win/win for me in that regard.
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Some of the best advice I"ve ever heard is "Never volunteer information." You apply this logic to everything and you"d be surprised how much turns in your favor. Good call with the queer.
 
L

[LVC]DeGrassi_foh

shitlord
0
0
Dabamf said:
If he will listen to me and let me test my theories, I support continuing to text her.

P.S. Update necessary

P.P.S. After I resolved the issue with DG (minus making sure she kept her word by seeing her apartment draped in black penis wallpaper) she was over last night and I stupidly referenced my leaving Korea in 16 months again and she got upset. I"ve never given any indication that I"m staying, and I"ve referenced it in passing a couple times, but she always gets upset from it. I think she was kinda hoping maybe I"d change my mind and stay for her, I dunno. Well anyway, I knew after this amount of time and how she has reacted, I needed to lay the truth out there clear as day so I"m not leading her on. Since I had already referenced it, I figured that was the time to do it. I said I really liked her, blah blah personal stuff, but that I have a career dream that can only be accomplished back home. And that I hated to have to mention it, but I wanted her to know exactly what I was thinking so she could do what was best for her.

She cried for like 25 minutes, then we slept. In the morning she seemed normal, but today she"s ignoring all my texts. And just as I"m typing this she texted saying she had a shitty day (which says a lot because she never says anything negative).

Thing is, I"m not sure whether she was really holding out hope that I"d change my mind or if she just doesn"t like to think about it and wants to enjoy the time together untainted. Either way, couldn"t risk leading her on.
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Going to go with the relationship ends pretty soon. I take it your in your late 20"s early 30"s , and she is in her late 20"s as well ? If thats the case ... mr biological clock is ticking ... so why would she waste 16 more months on you when she can go out and find a penis that will hang around for the years to come and also ejaculate the goodness that is baby making semen into her korean cervix starting the cycle of life over. I"d start calling those other "women" you mentioned earlier in the thread and start hooking up with them. Hopefully they might let you see there place.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Brad said:
You make a big deal about texts and small things. Much like the Bar Girl, which nothing happened.
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I wouldn"t say I make a "big deal" out of that kind of shit. In real life anyways. I post a lot of it here for my and everyone"s entertainment if anything. If that gives the impression that I"m making a huge deal out of miniscule shit, my bad.

I dont mean this in a bad way, but just because you have money and can travel all the time, you still have minor flaws and draw backs (dont make me research the shit to point them out) that make you similar to me. To any guy. Youre a regular male and there is nothing, not even your money, that makes you any better than any of us.
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Where have I claimed otherwise? I am as aware of my shortcomings as anyone. That said, I have broken up with or turned down far more girls than the opposite, it"s not like I"m constantly getting rejected or something. And I tend to not go for "average" girls, so that definitely brings the batting average down somewhat as well. Again, I just happen to post a good portion of what"s going on with me here for the hell of it, and then the massive overanalyzation shitstorm takes it from there.

Now I am NOT saying that you had ever said or even thought this. It"s more on me, my insecurities and such. I used to think that better dress and wealth meant better man. I am finally realizing that none of that means nothing. It really is who YOU are as a person.
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Oh absolutely agreed there. If anything sometimes wealth can alienate people who have it (not in my experience, but I mean I"m so far down the scale it"s barely worth talking about), whether because they think that"s all they have to bring to a relationship (romantic or platonic), they rub it in people"s faces, they suspect their friends or girlfriends are using them for it, or whatever else.
 
W

Wrathcaster

Found a pretty decent summary of how I looked at relationships not too long ago. Kind of puts things into perspective. My apologies if they"ve already been posted but there"s no way I"m wading through this clusterfuck of a thread.
 
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